


Coffee and Cannoli

by KoshkaSnow



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Asshole Mike Dodds, Borderline Personality Disorder, CPEP and Fordham, Coffee, Drunken Confessions, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I have BPD and I just wanted to write a character with BPD, I love my Sonnshine Cannoli, It's not her defining factor but definitely crops up, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Smut, This is secretly a self insert, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 48,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8503492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoshkaSnow/pseuds/KoshkaSnow
Summary: They knew each other as "CPEP" and "Fordham Law". Quinn is dealing with a particularly nasty break up and nursing a bottle of wine. Sonny knows the best way to take care of this is with some coffee and comfort food. It's only a matter of time until Quinn realizes it's not just the borderline personality pushing her towards him.





	1. Chapter One

Quinn wasn’t exactly sure what had just happened. She had made it past security into the hospital and made a beeline for the emergency room before ducking into an employee bathroom, holding on to the sides of the sink while she tried to steady her breathing. _I’m never dating another cop again_ , she thought as she splashed cold water on her face in a vain attempt to hide the flustered stain of red creeping across her cheeks. Rubbing her bloodshot eyes with the tips of her fingers, Quinn took a deep breath and stepped back outside into the emergency room. She locked her belongings in the locker room and returned to the front desk.

“Good morning, Ms. Silver.”

 _Great_. Her boss could not have shown up at a better time. Giving her eyes a final wipe, Quinn turned to face her superior social worker with a forced smile. “Good morning, Ms. Harrison. How was your weekend?” She barely heard her boss’ response before she had been paged by the triage nurse for a patient dysregulating in the waiting room. Thankful for the distraction, Quinn adjusted her glasses and headed to the triage room. Upon entering the room, she was greeted by a teenage girl with her knees drawn to her chest, wailing and clutching at her hair. A man Quinn assumed was her father was standing nearby, wringing his hands as the nurse shuffled the girl’s paperwork into a manila folder and printed labels. It was never quiet working for the Comprehensive Psychiatric Emergency Program.

“Mr. Jackson, this is our CPEP social worker, Ms. Quinn Silver. She will take you back to a room while we wait for a nurse to come and examine you.” The nurse paused to look at Quinn. “I’ll leave calling the precinct to you.” Quinn grimaced slightly and took the file and led the pair to a curtained off examination table where the girl lay down and continued to cry. She motioned for Mr. Jackson to sit down as she perused the file. Fifteen. Raped. Found by father returning home from work on their stoop. Quinn closed the folder and took a breath. “Mr. Jackson, can you tell me a little bit about what happened to Melanie?”

She listened intently to the father explain that he had come home from work to find his daughter sitting on the stoop crying, with her clothing torn and a cut lip. When asking why she was outside so late, she said she lost her keys and couldn’t get upstairs. The mother died a few years ago and nobody else was home. Melanie originally told her father she had fallen while running down the street with her friends. Mr. Jackson noted that she had superficially cut her wrists when they got upstairs but was inconsolable. She did not disclose about the rape until a few hours ago, which is when her father brought her in.

“Has she showered since she got back inside?” Mr. Jackson shook his head and Quinn made a note in the file. “Mr. Jackson, I’m going to go page a nurse and speed up the process for you. If it’s alright, we would like to do a rape kit just to -”

“Anything, Ms. Quinn. Anything to help my girl.”

Melanie had stopped wailing and had subsided into softer sobs, choking on her tears. Quinn offered a light smile and stepped out, closing the curtain for their privacy. She scanned the emergency room for one of the nurses who specialized in cases like these, catching the eye of Nurse Alex Pettiford and ushering her into the sectioned off area where Mr. Jackson was waiting with his daughter. “Sir, I'm just going to have you step out for a little bit while Nurse Pettiford does the examination. You can come sit in the waiting room; someone will call you when they're ready for you.

The father was shaken and pale as he went to sit in the waiting room. Quinn sighed and brushed a few strands out of her face before fishing her cellphone out of her back pocket to call the police. She skipped over her speed dial options, going through her contacts until she hit Benson, Olivia.

Ring.  
Ring.  
Ri- “Benson.”

“Olivia. Lieutenant. Hi.” Quinn let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

“Quinn?” She noted a pause after Olivia said her name. “Uh, is everything alright?”

She wasn't sure how much Olivia was already privy to - her ex couldn't have had enough time to get to work and spill all the details to his boss in the amount of time it had taken for a case to already come in. Quinn had befriended the SVU squad not long after graduating from social work school, getting swept up in their cases from day one at Bellevue pediatric psychiatric emergency ward. She became a helpful contact for the squad and had even dared to call them her friends. It had been a few months since she started dating one of the cops who would frequent her neck of the woods whenever she called the squad about a case, and everything had come to a horrible end this morning for reasons Quinn didn't want to think about about at the present moment. She knew there would be questions - Rollins would definitely come calling as soon as news spread through the squad room - but she wanted to stave them off until she had her own time to process.

“I'm fine, Liv. I just have a girl here we’re doing a rape kit on and figured I'd give you guys a ring ASAP.” She chewed on her lip, hoping Olivia wouldn't pry.

“I see. Alright, I'll send someone over there as soon as I can. Call me afterwards and we’ll see if we need to get Barba involved.” Quinn heart raced as she heard Olivia say goodbye.

“LIV!” She lowered her voice, remembering that she was, in fact, still in the hospital. When she was sure she still had the lieutenant’s attention she continued. “Whatever you do, please don't send Mike.”

She shouldn't have been surprised by the stunned silence that met her remark. She picked at her chin before asking if Olivia was still on the other end. “Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Just putting two and two together. I'll give him some desk work for now and come handle this myself with one of the other detectives. I'll see you soon, Quinn.”

“See ya…” she trailed off, clicking the call end button on the screen of her Galaxy. Quinn ran her hand through her hair and slipped her phone into her back pocket. Taking a minute to compose herself, she turned back to the curtained off area where Melanie was being examined. The nurse hadn't finished yet, so Quinn sat down on a nearby stool at the computer station. Everyone continued moving around her as if she wasn't entirely on the verge of losing her shit in about a minutes. That's what she loved about the emergency room - everything kept going, regardless of the little things happening internally. Quinn picked at her nails while Nurse Pettiford examined Melanie, wondering what had gone so terribly wrong for her to get dumped - physically and emotionally - by Mike Dodds, the golden boy of the NYPD. She thought she deserved more than “this isn't working out, babe. I think we need to move on”. It made her sick to her stomach thinking that he had dropped this bomb on her just before dropping her off at work. She got up and went to wait in a hallway by the side entrance where the NYPD often came

Quinn secretly hoped that Rollins would be the one coming with Olivia. She loved Olivia, truly - the woman had taken her under her wing and had been the one who introduced her to Mike in the first place - but she saw Olivia as such a mother figure that she was too afraid to open up about the SVU sergeant dumping her right now. Amanda knew just how to keep her level headed. Hell, even Fin Tutuola could do a better job of keeping her together. And then there was Sonny… He was always the odd one out of the bunch and had given her a stupid nickname the last time she had been at the squad room, so naturally she had to throw one back at him. He had always tried to be friendly in his own over the top way, but Quinn had hardly noticed him at the time. Looking back, Quinn laughed - maybe it wasn’t smart getting with a work colleague. Now there was the whole squad to deal with.

“‘Ey, CPEP. There ya are!”

Quinn shook her head to clear her thoughts and looked up to find the source of the loud Italian accent. “Well, well. If it isn’t Miss Silver. Liv said you were havin’ a rough day so I stopped off and got you a little pick-me-up from my favorite bakery.” Sonny Carisi had burst through the door, holding a white paper bag in one hand and a tray of coffees in the other.

“Good morning to you too, Fordham Law,” she said dryly, eyeing the paper bag suspiciously. “Where’s Olivia?”

“She’s on her way. Come sit and you can tell me all about the case we got.”

It seemed that Sonny had an infinite amount of energy at this early morning hour, and there was no convincing him otherwise. Quinn sighed and led him to the break room where she plopped down in a chair and sat on her hands. “So… what exactly did Liv say?”

“Eh… something about a girl gettin’ a rape kit done, didn’t really say much other than that she really wanted me to come along. Someone missed me!” He grinned as he handed her one of the coffee cups, but the smile faded when he saw just how dejected Quinn was at that present moment. “Jeez, you alright, CPEP? You look miserable.”

“I’m fine,” she snapped, grabbing the coffee with such a force that the top popped off and hot coffee sloshed over the lip and onto her hands. “Shit.” She grabbed some of the napkins Sonny took out of the paper bag and wiped herself off, reaching for the cup lid that had gone skidding across the table.

“Ya know, I was gonna just get zeppole for you, but I’m glad I opted for the cannolis… You look like you could use some cream filling.”

Quinn blushed from ear to ear as she stammered, trying to get out a witty retort. “Easy, CPEP. It’s a joke. Cream filling makes everything better.” Sonny offered her the bag, shaking it in front of her as she gently moved the coffee out of the way.

“Wow, Fordham. You even opted for the giant ones. Your girlfriend must have bad days pretty often.”

Before Carisi could answer, Liv burst in through the door. “There you are, Carisi. I was looking all over for the two of you. Quinn! How are you?” Quinn didn’t know how to react to Olivia’s bombardment of statements, so she stuffed the cannoli in her mouth and let Carisi do all the talking.

“Sorry boss, that’s my fault. Figured I’d treat the lady to some breakfast while she went over what we knew about the case.” Carisi grabbed a cannoli out of the bag and held the rest out to Olivia, who held her hand up.

“I’m alright, Carisi, thank you. Have you been briefed on the case then?”

“Not yet, Liv. Just got here myself. I’m sure we can all sit down and get the story now that we’ve had some cannoli.”

Quinn wasn’t sure whether she welcomed Carisi’s rapid fire responses to his lieutenant, or if she just wanted everyone to shut up. He was a pleasant distraction, though Quinn had to wonder if Olivia had let him know that she’d broken up with Mike. He had always made fun of her when she would visit the squad room, or get called in for a case debriefing. The loud Italian cop from Staten Island always had a announce her whenever she came by, and Quinn was never one for attention. Granted, dating the Chief’s son was bound to stick her in the limelight eventually, but she had managed to stay off the radar.

Quinn swallowed the last bit of cannoli and licked the cream off her finger. As she made to move, Carisi reached across the table and rubbed his thumb over the corner of her mouth. “Ya had a little schmutz there, CPEP.”

“Thank you, Fordham…” she muttered before turning to Olivia. It was going to be a long day, she could feel it, and Carisi’s ever peppy personality wasn't making it any better. She had never worked with Carisi on any of her cases - Mike always took the lead and she very rarely had to come to the station to discuss with the squad. Now, he had put her in a position where she had to be wildly uncomfortable with Sonny acting as if his cannolis had just solved all the world’s problems. The Nobel Peace Prize will be awarded to him shortly.

Quinn explained the case to Olivia, ignoring Sonny’s intent staring. When she was done, Olivia motioned to Carisi to follow her back to where the patient was waiting. Olivia left the break room and Carisi stood up, suddenly slamming his palms down on the table, startling Quinn. “I got it. You broke up with Dodds.”

“What? No, I -”

“Come on, CPEP. I grew up with sisters. I know when someone’s heart’s achin’, and you’re a true, blue case of getting dumped.”

“You can’t be serious…” She could feel her face growing redder and redder as Sonny interrogated her, all with that same, dopey grin on his face.

“Knowing Mike, you probably handed his ass to him.”

“Actually... “ Quinn began. She composed herself quickly and remarked, “You know what, I don’t have to explain anything to you. How about we just go and do our jobs and save the gossip for another time.”

“It’s a date,” Carisi winked before following in his lieutenant’s footsteps. Quinn sat, staring at the door in disbelief. _What just happened?_


	2. Chapter Two

The rest of the day seemed to have dragged on for Quinn. Usually the Pediatric ER was too loud and hectic for her to even catch a break. Her day had not started out well, and the unfamiliar silence emanating from her phone had bothered her so much that she had thrown it in her locker for the rest of her shift. Mike used to text her every so often, even if it was just a stupid  _ emoji _ or something. But now? Now he hadn’t even bothered to say anything at all.  _ Fuck him, _ she thought,  _ I’m not holding my breath.  _

She sat at the computer, typing her notes for the day in furiously, making sure she didn’t miss a single detail of every case she was called to. Aside from the Jackson case this morning, she had a couple consultations on cases she was managing, as well as following up on a few children who were being kept under observation for suicide. Mr. Jackson had taken up most of her day, seemingly needing more consoling than Melanie needed. Quinn had convinced him and Melanie to press charges when she was finally calmed down by the nurse doing her examination. She wanted to assign the case to another social worker, hoping to not have to deal with SVU anymore for a while. She had been sitting with Carisi the entire time as he took her statement while Olivia was making phone calls to the ADA, Rafael Barba. He’d taken a few of her cases to court before and Quinn liked to think she got along with his prickly personality.

As she finished her note, Quinn sighed and leaned back in her chair. One of the residents in the area leaned over the top of the desk. “You need some coffee, Silver? You look a little exhausted.”

“No thanks, Brett. I don’t have the overnight tonight. I’m heading home and going to bed.” She sat up straight and started to pack up all her files, hoping he would leave. Brett Daniels was new to the emergency room and had been hounding her ever since he was put on this rotation. There was something skeevy about his cockiness every day, expecting her to give him the time of day, that bothered her. She couldn’t tell who was worse - Brett or Sonny.

“Ah, come on, Silver. A little coffee never hurt nobody. Come with, I’m going to Dunkin Donuts right now.” 

Quinn flushed and stuffed her papers in a drawer, locking it with a loud slam. “No. Thank you, Brett, but no thank you.” She brushed past him into the locker room, collecting her belongings and clocking out before Brett could stop her again. As she walked out of the hospital, she started to feel bad. Maybe she could have at least walked with the guy to the front door. She was taking out her anger and frustration on him… _No_ , she thought. _I don’t want to hang out with anyone today, I’m not in the mood, and I’m not going to feel bad about refusing a guy who doesn’t understand the meaning of ‘no’._

Quinn walked the twenty blocks to her house, needing some time to clear her head after the long day she had. Her phone was still ominously silent, save for the occasional check-in from Olivia regarding the case and some texts from numbers she didn’t have in her address book.. When she got to her apartment, Quinn leaned against the wall while waiting for the elevator, pulling her phone from her pocket.

**Olivia Benson:** Barba wants to meet with you tomorrow. 

**Unknown Number** : Quinn, it’s Rafael. Do you have a minute to chat tmoro?

**Unknown Number:** A response would be appreciated, I know we are both very busy people.

**Unknown Number:** Yo CPEP answer Barba’s messages before he pees himself.

**Unknown Number:** Btw Liv gave me your number, don’t think i’m a creep or nothing

Quinn smirked and saved the unknown numbers as their corresponding senders. As she fumbled with her keys, the phone buzzed again. She jammed the key in the lock and turned it, dropping her purse in the hallway and kicking her shoes off. The phone buzzed again and she groaned, flipping it to face her.

**Incoming call: Fordham Law**

She cautiously pressed the green circle and swiped it across her screen. “Hello..?”

“Ay, CPEP, you finally answered. Barba’s gonna be so mad!” Sonny’s cheerful voice poured through the speaker.

“I’ve been busy at work, Fordham. Not everyone can play Candy Crush forever while sitting in an unmarked vehicle.” She heard him snicker before there was a shuffling, a shout from Sonny and a thud. She raised an eyebrow as a different voice came through the receiver.

“You’ll answer this idiot’s calls but not a text message, Silver? Lieutenant Benson spoke so highly of you…”

“Very funny, Barba. As I was just telling your protege, I’ve had quite a busy day at work and have only just arrived at my humble abode.” She paused, gauging just how much of his commentary was sarcastic humor and how much of it was serious.

“I see,” Barba finally muttered. “I’d like to meet with you tomorrow regarding the case you called SVU in on. If Carisi is half as good of a detective as I hope he is, we have a matching MO for a string of assaults that we’ve been tracking.” Quinn heard a loud  _ Hey! _ coming from the speaker and grinned. “Are you free at all tomorrow, or are you going to be busy again?”

“Barba, I work in the emergency room. I don’t know what my schedule looks like. I can let my supervisor know I’m needed to assist on a case - we’ve got a couple other social workers there who can hold down the fort.”

“Okay, good. Carisi will be present as well, considering he is the only other detective who has any knowledge of this case. Olivia, unfortunately, has her son to attend to tomorrow.”

Quinn sighed. “Don’t be so mean to the poor guy. I’m sure he tries his best.”

“You hear that, Carisi? She said you try.” Quinn shouted at Rafael as he told Carisi what she had said about him.

“I’m hanging up on you, Barba.”

“Eight AM sharp, my office.” She heard a click and Rafael was gone. She tossed her phone onto the couch and sat down, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.  _ Eight AM… who does he think he is. _ It was entirely too early for her to want to deal with happy, chipper, Dominick Carisi and his polar opposite Rafael Barba. Sending a quick text message to her boss regarding tomorrow’s plans, she reached over to grab the bottle of wine that had been sitting there as a decorative centerpiece for a few days. She had bought it to celebrate her and Mike’s six-month-aversary next week and obviously it no longer served a purpose. Quinn started to get up to find a glass, but decided otherwise and simply reached for the corkscrew on her little Swiss Army Knife tucked into the coffee table drawer.

The bottle was two-thirds gone by the time she decided it was an appropriate hour to go to sleep. Quinn looked over at the digital clock on the end table.  _ 2AM? Holy shit. _ She scrambled to cork the bottle and jumped into bed, figuring she might have enough time to shower in the morning and look presentable. It wasn't that Barba was devilishly handsome and always put together - she had made her peace with her odd crush on the ADA long ago - but that Sonny would be there and she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing she had been crying, drinking, and watching  _ Bridget Jones's Diary _ ever since she got home.

Not that she would tell him those details, of course. He would just know the break up had gotten to her, and Quinn couldn't have that.

Setting her alarm for 5:30, she drifted off to sleep…

Only to wake up at 7AM, cottonmouth and all. She cursed her hungover self for knowing how to work a snooze button in her sleep and bolted out of bed into the shower. She was done in record time, make up and all, and booked it out the door, slamming into whoever decided to stand in the doorway of her building at that very moment.

“Sorry, sorry, late for work, I'm so- Sonny?”

She took a step back after colliding with the detective. “What are  _ you _ doing here?”

“Ya might wanna check your messages, CPEP. I don't mind a booty call now and then but this was on a whole different level.” Quinn paled as she turned her phone over in her hand.

“Listen, if I said anything that might give you ideas…”

“Relax, CPEP, I'm joking. I could smell the booze through the phone and you asked if I'd come get you in the morning. No big deal.”

Quinn scrolled through her texts, and true to his word, she found incoherent babble in her Fordham Law thread, with her address peppered in. Thank God for autocorrect, or Sonny would have been waiting forever. She looked up sheepishly at the detective, who was watching her with an infuriating smirk on his face. “So you came from Staten Island to meet me at seven to take me to Barbas office, and that's not a big deal to you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. 

“I may have borrowed my parents’ car for the day, alright CPEP? Now, I'm double parked and don't have cop plates on it, so let's cut the interrogation and hightail it downtown.” She cringed as Sonny’s tone changed from playful to serious and she followed him to the old sedan parked across the street. Sonny, gentleman that he was, even opened the passenger door for her before getting settled into the driver’s seat himself. Quinn fastened her seatbelt and held her pocketbook on her lap, fiddling with the strap. The engine sputtered to life and Sonny pulled away just as the street cleaner turned onto the block.

She sat quietly as Sonny fiddled with the radio in his old Toyota, finally settling on a station playing an energetic guitar solo. Quinn popped open her bag, fumbling around for the last single pack of Advil she saved for times like these. As she ripped the foil packet, Sonny looked over at her. “I've got some water in my bag if you need it.”

“Eyes on the road, detective,” she chastised, shaking the two orange pills out into her palm. “But thank you. I was considering a dry swallow but I guess you're prepared.” Quinn reached behind her, groping at the air blindly for Sonny’s backpack in the backseat. She grabbed hold of it and dragged it out over the center console and placed it between her legs, fishing out the water bottle from one of the pockets. 

They drove in silence until they reached Barba’s office building. Sonny pulled into a parking space and went to feed the Muni-Meter. Quinn gathered her belongings as well as Carisi’s backpack and stepped out into the street, quickly walking around the car to where Carisi was pumping the meter full of quarters. His brow was furrowed so much that Quinn was worried it would stick that way forever. Swallowing her pride, she handed him his book bag. “Thank you, Sonny. I really appreciate you doing this for me.” His expression softened as he turned to look at her. 

“What happened to ‘Fordham’?” he chuckled. Quinn frowned.

“I'm trying to be nice here, Carisi.”

“Well, we all know what a feat that is, so I, too, thank you for the effort, Silver.” 

  
She all but threw his backpack at him as he laughed and led the way to Barba’s office.


	3. Chapter Three

“You’re late.”

“Good morning to you, too, Rafael,” Quinn said to the ADA, whose back was turned as he faced the big picture window in his office.

“I didn’t realize we were on a first name basis here, _Rafael_ ,” Sonny chortled and Barba shot him a look over his shoulder before walking over to his desk.

“ _We are_. You and I, are not, Carisi.” Sonny winced at the jab and put his bag down on the seat of a chair, rifling through it before producing a manila folder. Quinn sat down in the chair adjacent to Sonny’s and picked at her cuticles while Barba and Carisi spread the case file out on the desk. “Quinn. I think we’ve got another victim for a serial rapist here. I’m going to need you to work with the family to make sure they feel comfortable testifying and I’ll probably need to put you on the stand as well at some point since you were on the clock when she came in. We need to build this case as solidly as we can because three of the other four victims are refusing to cooperate with us.” She looked up at Barba, raising an eyebrow.

“Why not have one of the detectives handle the family? Wouldn’t it create some kind of suspicion if you put me on the stand after convincing them to stay and testify? Any lawyer worth his shit probably knows I’m tied to you guys like the buttons on your shirts.” She smirked when she saw the corner of Barba’s mouth twitch up into a smile. Success.

Rafael sat down in his arm chair, leaning back and throwing a leg up onto the desk. “Normally, I would, but Sonny is assisting me on prosecuting the case, Rollins is working a case in Atlanta, Fin is taking care of paperwork, and from what I understand Mike Dodds is a persona non grata right about now.” Quinn shot Sonny a look, shoving him so roughly his chair almost teetered over.

“You told him?” she hissed through her teeth, and Sonny shrugged. “I haven’t even told Amanda yet and you’re letting everyone and their mother know?”

“He wanted to get Dodds involved in the case. Thought I'd do you a solid, CPEP,” Sonny replied sheepishly. She felt her cheeks grow warm and willed the blood to return to normal circulation. Why was he being so nice to her - she was nothing but a pain to him, very rarely a ray of sunshine in their interactions. The thoughts consumed her to the point that Barba had even snapped his fingers in front of her nose to make sure she was paying attention.

“Quinn, I suggest contacting the family as soon as you can, perhaps accompany Carisi back to the station and use their phone. I'm sure Olivia would like to speak to you as well.” She nodded skeptically.

“I can always go back to the hospital. Not like my shift is technically over or anything.”

“No. A Miss Harrison called to verify that you would be coming down here to discuss a case and I informed her we would possibly take the entire day. Consider the trip to the precinct as part of your duties to the case.”

 _That bitch_ , Quinn thought. _Who is she to be suspicious_? She hardly noticed Carisi beside her trying to slyly text under the lip of Barba’s desk as she packed her copies of the charts and files into her bag. Gazing at her watch, which read 2:15, she tapped Carisi on the shoulder. “Come on, Fordham. Whoever you're texting can wait, unless your girlfriend’s got you on a tight leash.” Sonny’s head jerked up and he saw Barba smirk as he watched the detective and social worker leave his office. Carisi had to jog to catch up to Quinn, even with his long legs, as she booked it towards the elevator. Quinn mashed the elevator button as Sonny caught up to her, freezing as she felt his hand brush the middle of her back.

“Sorry. Force of habit.”

She turned to look up at him as they stepped into the elevator. “It’s fine, Fordham. Don’t worry about it.”

Carisi leaned back against the wall of the elevator, chewing on his bottom lip. Quinn looked away from him and brushed stray strands of hair out of her face, praying for somebody else to get on the elevator. They slowed to a halt and the doors opened to reveal none other than Chief Dodds himself. Quinn took a step back but felt the palm of Carisi’s hand push her back towards the door. “This is our floor, Miss Silver. Chief Dodds.” She was stunned as the detective maneuvered her out of the elevator and toward the staircase.

“What the hell was that all about?” Quinn asked, sidestepping out of his grasp. She adjusted her shirt and frowned at Sonny.

“You wanna spend an elevator ride with Daddy Dodds? He’s bound to try and talk to you. After all, Mike did take you to that sergeant’s ball last month and Chief Dodds definitely knows something’s up. He’s got his son’s balls twisted so hard they might pop - there’s no way Mike didn’t drop a hint.”

“It’s been one day, Fordham.”

“Yeah, well… better safe than sorry.”

Sonny headed down the stairs, not waiting for Quinn to follow. “And that’s not even what I meant!” she shouted indignantly over the commotion in the building. “I meant ‘Miss Silver’. When have you ever in your life called me ‘Miss Silver’?” Furious that he was ignoring her, Quinn took the stairs down two at a time to reach him. Sonny didn’t respond until they were finally in the car.

“Listen. I know you don’t ever have to deal with Mike again, but I have to work with him. And if his dad is going to make some smart remark about me being seen with you, it’s gotta stay professional. Alright?”

“That just sounds like you’re fucking me in the break room when no one’s around,” she muttered, just loudly enough for Sonny to hear.

“Okay, CPEP. Slow down there. I believe you owe me a date first.” She turned her head to give him a look of disgust and caught him winking at her. Her cheeks flushed red and she looked out the window for the rest of the ride to the precinct. He pulled into a parking spot by the precinct and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Do me a favor? Go inside and grab my parking permit off my desk. Liv or Fin can show you which one it is. I’m gonna run to the corner and get coffee for the squad.” Quinn scooted out of the car, squeezing past the patrol cars parked crookedly on an angle. She walked up the steps to the front door and turned to see Sonny loping up the block to the corner diner. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Quinn was greeted by the usual hustle of the precinct. She followed the guard’s directions to the squad room where she spotted Fin sitting amidst a stack of manila folders. She came up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey Fin!” He turned around suddenly, and his usual sullen demeanor transformed into a smile as he stood up to hug her.

“Hey Q. Haven’t seen you in this neck of the woods for a while. How are you?” Quinn held on to Fin a little too tightly, which did not go unnoticed as he frowned and held her out at arm’s length. “You alright, kid? Something bothering you?”

Quinn shook her head, forcing herself to smile. “Missed you, that’s all. How’s Ken doing? Haven’t seen much of him since we finished school.”

“Ken’s alright, working on his licenses and moving on up in the halfway house he works at. He’s doing good work. You both are.” Quinn’s fake smile turned into a real one. Fin was the closest thing she had to a father figure throughout her young adult life, through undergraduate and graduate school.

“Thanks Fin… I’m just looking for Fordh- Carisi’s desk? He forgot his parking permit and will be right in.”

“That dumbass. Hang on, I’ll go grab it for you.” Fin let go of her and made for Carisi’s desk. She set her bag down on Fin’s desk and leaned against it, scanning the squad room for Olivia Benson. She caught sight of the lieutenant in her office after she quickly stood up from her chair. Quinn was ready to take a break and talk to Olivia - since Amanda was on leave it was difficult to explain recent events through text message - but was unprepared for Mike to throw open Olivia’s door and step out.

 _Oh no oh no oh no_ she thought, scrambling to pick up her bag and run out with the parking pass Fin handed her.

“Quinn?”

She froze.

“Hi Mike. Fancy seeing you here,” she mumbled as she turned around to see Sergeant Dodds standing behind her.

“I work here, Quinn. What are you doing here?”

“Believe me, I’m here for business, not pleasure. So if you’re done with Lieutenant Benson, I’ll go over there right now.” She moved to push past him but Mike grabbed her by the arm.

“We need to talk.”

“Funny, that’s what you said yesterday before literally dumping me at work.” She felt the grip on her arm grow tighter as he all but dragged her to one of the interrogation rooms. “Classy, sergeant. You gonna charge me, too?”

“Cut the crap, Quinn. Are you really that petty to try and sabotage my job? I thought you were better than that.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Mike? I haven’t spoken to you since yesterday morning.”

“But you’ve spoken to Liv. You got me kicked off my own case and had it reassigned to _Carisi_? This is a huge case, and you got me removed from it?”

Quinn was fuming. “I haven’t done jack shit to you, Mike. I never asked for anybody by name. All I told Liv was that I didn’t want you to come to take this girl’s statement because we both obviously had a rough morning. How was I supposed to know that one,” she held up a finger, “Carisi would get assigned, and two,” she held up another finger, “that this was at all related to your big serial rapist case? Huh, Mike?” She sat down on the interrogation table, crossing her legs at her ankles while he leaned against the wall.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that? As if I wouldn’t be able to put my own bullshit aside on a case. Maybe you can’t, but I’m able to think about somebody other than myself.” Her eyes widened as he spoke. “Maybe it’s a good idea that I dumped you. You’re impulsive and impossible and that’s not something I need to deal with right now.

“You take that back right now,” she gasped.

“Or what, Quinn? You’ll throw a tantrum like you always do when you get upset? Go ahead.” she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. “But don’t come to where I work and mess things up for me just because things aren’t going your way.”

“You’re an asshole, Mike,” she choked, jumping off the table and heading towards the door.

“Yeah, and you’re just a pain in mine.” She slammed the door shut behind her, ignoring the hot tears streaking down her face as she tried to avoid the crowd of detectives standing by the one way mirror. At the end of the hall stood Carisi, two coffees in a tray in his hand.

“‘Ey, CPEP. Where’d you go? I was waiting outside for -”

She tucked the parking pass in his jacket pocket as she stormed by, wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve. Quinn ran down the stairs and out of the precinct, heading towards the corner diner where Carisi had gotten the coffee. She dropped her bag on the furthest table and ordered a coffee before collapsing on her arms and sobbing. Quinn cried for a solid five minutes until she head the clink of porcelain on the tiled table in front of her. She slowly lifted her head until just her bleary eyes were visible over her arms to see a blurry figure sitting in front of her.

And a plate with two giant cannolis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY GUYS I LOVE MIKE BUT WE GOTTA ADVANCE THE PLOT


	4. Chapter Four

“Fordham? What are you doing here?” she asked, smearing her eyeliner in a vain attempt to  clear her eyes of tears.

“Came to check on you, CPEP. You ran outta there in a hurry…”

 “Just be straight with me: how much did you hear?” she asked, folding her hands around the coffee cup. Sonny sighed.

“Sorry. There’s not much privacy and they never turned off the intercom.”

“How much did you hear.”

“Enough to know you need some comfort food and a shoulder to cry on.”

She eyed the cannolis and looked back up at him.

“Thanks. But I’ll pass on the shoulder.” She reached for one of the cannolis and bit into it. “How much did you hear,” she asked again. Sonny explained that he had noticed the crowd growing by the interrogation room and walked over just to hear the last remarks from Mike. Quinn grunted and took another bite of the cannoli, sweeping away the crumbs falling onto the table.

“I don’t wanna make this weird…”

Quinn slammed her hand down on the table, causing the cup and plate to shake. “God damn, Fordham. The only thing making this weird is you not telling me how much you heard and where I need to fill in the details. So how much of our little spat did you hear?” She felt bad - she hadn’t meant to yell at him after he bothered to come after her. “I’m sorry. Please. Just tell me how much I need to catch you up on. It doesn’t seem like you’ll be going away anytime soon…” Sonny gazed at her intently, his brow furrowing. “Besides, I do owe you that date…”

Sonny chuckled. “Let’s take a raincheck on that and we just have a chat. Like pals.” He paused and tapped his finger against his lips. “I came in somewhere around ‘impulsive and impossible’,” he said, making air quotes.

Quinn smiled weakly before wiping her eyes on a napkin. She sighed and swirled the coffee with a small spoon. _Where do I even begin_.

*****

_She met Mike six months ago. It was her first big case of her career and it had wrapped up in a guilty jury verdict. She went out to celebrate at a nearby bar downtown, where Olivia formally introduced her to her new sergeant, Mike Dodds. The detectives all left, save for Mike who was standing by the bar, tapping out a message on his phone. After pounding back a couple vodka cranberries, she turned around to leave, knocking right into the well-built man wearing a suit drenched in his drink of choice._

_“_ I’m so sorry, I’ll have that dry cleaned for you if you want, the place isn’t closed yet, _” she stammered, and was honestly surprised when he offered to buy her a drink. One thing led to another and suddenly they were in her hallway. She was pinned against the door as she fumbled in her purse for her keys, distracted by the cop’s hot mouth roaming up and down her neck. The key turned in the lock and they stumbled through the doorway, shedding clothing down the hall to her bedroom until they collapsed on her bed, a sweaty tangle of limbs._

_Mike’s tongue was warm and boozy and Quinn was in heaven, laying back in bed while this studly stranger licked his way up and down her body, leaving wet kisses in his wake. His fingers pressed into her upper thighs and she squealed, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him back up, capturing his lower lip with her teeth. The rest was all a blur until she woke up with Hot Cop spooning her in her bed._

_And so began their six month affair. Mike became her frequent visitor at the pediatric emergency room, and they tackled countless cases and always ended up falling back into Quinn’s bed together. She had never planned to get so attached to him, let alone give him the time of day, but it happened and as quickly as it began, it was over. They fought nearly every night about why Mike didn’t answer his phone or why Quinn ended up changing plans at a moment’s notice, and she should have seen the break up coming, but she pushed it further and further to the back of her mind until he dropped it on her in the car._

_She considered going back to therapy for a brief moment, but reconsidered when she thought of how textbook she’d be at the intake. Impulsive behaviors, check. Abandonment issues, check. Intense emotional reactivity, check. There was no need to go through that process again. Quinn would just have to pick herself up and move on, as she had multiple times before, and avoid any and all mention of Sergeant Mike Dodds._

*****

“And that’s why I’m never dating another cop again.” Quinn relayed the story to Sonny, who was staring intently at her. “That’s all I can really tell you, Fordham. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be and we held on to it for too long.” She looked down at her cannoli lying in pieces on the plate as she destroyed it with her fork while telling the story “Sorry…” she whispered before scooping up the crumbs and eating them. Sonny kept staring at her while she ate and Quinn averted her gaze multiple times before finally slamming her fork down. “Can you please say something because this silence is getting to be a little too much right now!”

Sonny laced his fingers together and rested his chin on his hands. “Sorry, CPEP. Just processing.”

“I’m sure you’ve heard worse things in your life, detective. Your friendly neighborhood social worker screwing the SVU sergeant is hardly a scandal…” Quinn fumbled with the paper napkin lying by her plate, tugging it out from underneath her phone. The Galaxy buzzed and Amanda’s name popped up on the notifications screen. Quinn flipped her phone over - she didn’t even know Amanda was in Atlanta until today and figured the female detective could wait a bit longer.

“You can answer that, you know.” Sonny motioned at her phone and Quinn shook her head.

“It’s not urgent. Stop changing the subject.”

Sonny let out a sigh and leaned back against the booth seat. “No need to be so hostile, CPEP. I just don’t know what to say to make you feel better. It’s not every day I get the intimate details of my sergeant’s sex life.”

Quinn paled. _I overshared again, didn’t I?_ Fantastic. She looked down into her coffee cup and gave it a small shake, watching the brown liquid swirl around. Quinn hardly noticed that Sonny had gotten up until he plopped down in the booth next to her, squeezing her up against the wall. She squeaked as he threw his arms around her in a hug. “What’s this all about, Fordham?”

“Well, the last guy who touched you screwed ya over, so I figure you could use a hug from someone who hasn’t.”

“Yet,” she muttered, crossing her arms briefly before turning into her seat to embrace the detective. “Thank you, Sonny. You’re okay.” She felt him chuckle and he let go of her, sliding out of the booth and fixing his vest.

“I’ll take it. You ready to head back to the station?”

Quinn sighed. She didn’t want to go back and face everyone, but she had a conversation with Olivia she had to attend to. She picked up her bag and clambered out of the booth, fishing out some singles to leave on the table. They walked out of the diner together and Sonny stuck his hands into the pockets of his vest, ignoring the phone ringing in his pants. “You gonna get that, Fordham? Your girl must be mad you’ve been ignoring her.” Sonny stopped in his tracks.

“Hey, CPEP? Why do you keep bringing up whether I have a girlfriend?”

Quinn stopped a few steps in front of him and whirled around. “Well, you never denied it at the hospital,” she shot back indignantly. “Does it matter?” She turned to walk towards the precinct when Sonny grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back.

“Yeah, actually, it does,” he exclaimed. “I know you’re having a rough time but please, Quinn, don’t project your bullshit onto me. Mike didn’t text or call or anything after he dumped you, did he?” Quinn stammered out an answer as Sonny kept his grip on her. “I know we were never great friends before, but I want to be here for you.” He put his other hand on her free arm, loosening his hold.

“And who says I want you to be there for me?” she blurted out, eyes burning a hole through Sonny’s. She couldn’t deny that having him around was nice - sudden, but nice - and that he had never actually done anything but listen to her, but something still chewed away at her insides as she tried to wriggle out of Sonny’s grasp.

“If you don’t want me to be there just say so, and I’ll leave you alone.” He let go of her, arms swinging to his sides. “Just fair warning, if you don’t then I’m not bringin’ you no cannoli anymore. Maybe zeppole.” He caught the corner of her mouth turn up in a smile.

“Okay, fine. But I’m only doing this for the cannoli,” she said, smirking. Sonny held his arms out and Quinn paused before stepping towards him.

“Atta girl,” he said, wrapping her up in another hug. “I know you’re hurtin’ and I know there’s no avoidin’ him forever, but you’ve gotta let me be there for ya. And I can’t do that if you’re going to use me as a scapegoat, okay?” She nodded, face buried against his chest. “Are you nodding when I can’t see you?” She nodded again. “We’re gonna have to work on your communication, CPEP. Aren’t you supposed to be a social worker?”

She pried herself away and scowled at him. “I’m kidding, CPEP. Relax. Let’s head back inside.”

Once inside the station, Quinn stepped away from Sonny and cautiously scanned the squad room for Olivia. Mike was nowhere to be found and she breathed out a sigh of relief. Fin was nearby but kept his distance after giving her a knowing look. He had grown to know that she was just like his son - she would ask him for help or guidance when she needed it and she knew he was always available. Quinn made her way to Olivia’s office, where the lieutenant was sitting at her desk.

“Hey, Liv, you got a minute?” she asked, knocking on the doorframe. Olivia’s head shot up and she smiled as she registered who was standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, Quinn, sit down. Let me just drop off these files and I’ll be right with you.” She got up and picked up the stack of folders on her desk and walked out, patting Quinn’s arm as she walked past her. Quinn sat down in the chair across from the desk and pulled out her phone.

 **Amanda:** Q, what’s going on?????

 **Amanda:** It’s not like you to not answer back immediately, you alright?  
 **Amanda:** Should I be concerned?

Quinn sighed and opened up the message application, tapping out a response to Rollins: _Sorry, was busy. Too much to say over text at this point. When are you coming home from ATL?_ She almost instantaneously got a response.

 **Amanda:** It’s about time, Q. I’m on the plane tonight, be back in the morning. You want me to call? 

_Nah, meeting with Liv in a second. I’m okay I swear. We’ll talk when you get home… Lots to catch you up on._

**Amanda:** It’s been three days! What could have possibly happened! Let’s go out tomorrow and talk.

Quinn locked her phone and slipped it into her bag just as Olivia returned to the office. “Quinn, I’m so sorry about earlier. Carisi texted me that you were coming and I felt that I had to let Mike know. I hoped he wouldn’t retaliate.” _So that's who Carisi was texting._ Quinn held up her hand.

“It’s fine, lieutenant. He’s upset, I’m upset, we haven’t had time to process and move forward. This is in no way your fault.”

“Okay,” Olivia said. “I just don’t want this to cloud your relationship with the rest of the squad. No matter what, you’re always welcome here. You’re a valuable asset to all of us, and a good friend.”

Quinn smiled at Olivia and shrugged. “Thanks, Liv. That means a lot. Really.”

“I'm happy to hear that, Quinn. Now, what did you want to ask me?”

Quinn took a deep breath. “So, uh… your wedding is coming up soon and considering that I was originally just Mike's ‘plus one’, I just wanted to know if you'd be horribly opposed to me coming?” She paused for a second as Olivia gazed at her. “Mike probably won't want me to come with him anymore and might even find a new date by next month and I know it's such short notice but if it doesn't mess up your seating arrangements or anything, I'd still really like to come. I'll even watch Noah if you need me to.” The second part of her question tumbled out and she had to stop herself from looking like a fool.

Quinn winced as Olivia began to speak. “Quinn,” she began, shaking her head. _Here we go. She doesn't want any commotion at her wedding. She doesn't want me -_ “Of course you're still coming to my wedding. I'll rearrange some seats so you two don't have to be anywhere near each other and there's still room in case Mike does bring someone else as his guest.” Quinn’s heart stopped racing as Olivia reassured her that she, in fact, was still wanted at the joyous celebration of her and Tucker’s love. She caught herself grinning from ear to ear and Olivia smiled at her. “Did you honestly think I wouldn't let you come after I'm sure you've already set your mind on it?”

Quinn shrugged. Her phone buzzed and Ms. Harrison’s name flashed across her screen. “I've gotta go take this, Liv, but thank you so much. Really.” She picked up her bag and practically skipped out of the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just as an aside, yes I do have BPD and I wanted Quinn's character to have it as well. There is often very little positive portrayal and I wanted someone to have a happy ending at least. We're not outwardly mentioning it (for now, if at all) just because it's not the focal point and I don't want to stereotype, but many of her behaviors and nuances are characteristic of BPD. They just make her, her :)


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this earlier in the week for Peter Scanavino's birthday but I got caught up editing! Whoops.

When Quinn finally arrived home after her misadventure at the station, she collapsed onto the couch and kicked her shoes off. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and swiped through her contacts until she found Amanda’s name. She took a deep breath and hit the green call button, tucking the phone between her face and shoulder. Amanda picked up almost instantly.

“Quinn, you better tell me what’s going on. I’ve been gone for three days and all I’m getting are panicked text messages from you.” Amanda was curt over the phone, as Quinn was already used to. “Is everything okay?”

“So I take it nobody’s told you the big news yet,” Quinn sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Mike dumped me yesterday. I’ve had a pretty wild morning and I know I said we’d talk in person but I’m a little overwhelmed.” She brought her feet up onto the couch and pulled at her sock impatiently.

“Mike did _what_?” Amanda screeched so loudly Quinn had to move the phone from her ear. “I’m going to murder him. What happened, Q?” Quinn repeated the story for the second time that day, omitting the details of how they got together since Amanda was the first one to find out they had even hooked up in the first place. Rollins’ stunned silence unnerved Quinn and she probed over the phone for Amanda to say something. “Sorry Quinn, I’m just stunned. I thought you two were great for each other. And he made a scene in the squad room? I’m going to have to have a talk with him when I get back to New York.”

“No, Amanda, please don’t,” Quinn begged immediately. “I know Olivia probably said something to him already and he’s pissed that Carisi has been reassigned to a case because I asked Olivia not to let him come to the hospital today and I just don’t want some kind of weird enmity between you guys because of me. Just go about business as usual. We can hate him privately after work.” She took a deep breath and let Amanda respond.

“Alright, Q. Whatever makes you happy. Hopefully we can get together when I get back. We’re boarding now so I’ll text you when I land, alright?”

“Okay Amanda. Thank you.” She hung up and tossed her phone onto the couch next to her. Immediately, it buzzed and she groaned, leaning over to grab it.

 **Fordham Law:** Where’d ya go today, CPEP? Was gonna offer to drive you home.

Quinn smiled weakly. It was true - she had gotten so caught up in her debrief with Ms. Harrison that she hadn’t said goodbye to anybody at the station.

_Sorry Fordham, got caught up in work stuff. I’ll take a raincheck on the ride home._

**Fordham Law:** You’ve already got a raincheck on a date and now this? You’re gonna owe me your life soon, CPEP.

 _Doubtful._ She paused before hitting send. _Thanks for everything again, Carisi. I mean it._

 **Fordham Law:** Don’t worry about it. Just take care of yourself.

 _Goodnight Fordham_.

 **Fordham Law:** Night CPEP.

She locked her phone and made her way to her room where she started getting ready to shower and go to bed. It was probably a mistake to have walked all the way from the 16th Precinct to her apartment in heels, but she had already gone halfway before realizing that her feet were getting sore. She stood under the hot stream of water for far too long before finally reaching for her shampoo and body wash to clean off the remnants of today from her skin.

Once she was done, Quinn wrapped herself up in her towels and left the bathroom, falling back onto her bed. Her phone buzzed from the nightstand and she groaned, laboriously pulling herself up the bed to reach it.

 **Unknown Number:** Missed you today.

Furrowing her brow, Quinn stared at the text message. It was nearly 9PM - who could possibly be missing her at this hour?

 **Unknown Number:** The Peds ER is super quiet without you and your SVU buddies coming around

 _Who is this?_ She typed back.

 **Unknown Number:** I’m hurt, Silver. It’s your favorite resident.

She nearly dropped her phone. How on earth did Brett get her phone number? _Cool, who gave you my number?_ She hit send, not caring how curt she was being. Before she got a response, she added: _It’s been a long day. You can fill me in tomorrow at work._ She quickly locked her phone and plugged it in to charge, burrowing herself under her blankets after changing into her pajamas. Quinn was a little unnerved that the one person she had not been too fond of had her contact information, and she was ready to yell at whatever person in the ER had given it out so freely. She had honestly hoped it was still Sonny texting her, or even Amanda via airplane WiFi. Even Barba would have been a pleasant surprise, but not _Brett_.

She didn’t know when she fell asleep, but her morning alarm woke her and she shot up, throwing off the covers and going to pick out an outfit for the day. She scrolled through the messages Amanda sent during the night, laughing at her complaints about the lack of legroom and the smelly man next to her on the plane. There was a message from Brett’s number, which she refused to add to her contacts, that she ignored for the time being. When she was finally ready, Quinn left her apartment and headed for the bus stop.

“Hey Silver, why didn’t you answer my text,” Brett called across the emergency room as she entered through the staff entrance. His attending shot him a look and muttered something about professionalism, allowing for Quinn to duck into the nurse’s station.

“Alright, which one of you gave him my number?” she hissed playfully at the nurses. Nurse Pettiford smirked and raised her hand.

“He said he had to discuss some case related business with you. Judging by the look on your face, that’s not what he called you about.” Quinn rolled her eyes and thanked her sarcastically before going to drop off her bag in her locker. _He’s on the case? That’s not correct. He’s really trying it._ She spent most of the day hiding in an office, putting in her notes on the case from her discussion at Barba’s office yesterday, only coming out when she was paged about a patient. Scared to check her ever-buzzing phone, Quinn had placed it face down in the top corner of her desk. _I’m going to have to change my number, probably. How do I block calls… Is it too early for that?_ The thoughts raced through her mind as she typed furiously on the keyboard in front of her, and amidst her distraction, the office door swung open and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Ms. Harrison, good morning,” she gasped as her supervisor stood in the doorway.

“Good afternoon, now, Quinn. You’ve been holed up in here all day.” Quinn winced at the judgment in her voice. Before she could apologize, Ms. Harrison spoke. “I was going to assign you to a case but they’re just getting sent to inpatient. I know you’re preoccupied with the Jackson case right now and going back and forth between the station and the courts is going to be a lot. Focus on the big case right now. If we need you for an assessment we’ll page you.” Quinn felt herself let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “You do good work, Silver. Make us proud.”

Her hands shook as she closed the door behind Ms. Harrison. She hadn’t been expecting any praise after essentially hiding from her job all day. She decided to take the compliment and finished up her notes, realizing that she hadn’t taken her lunch break yet. Resigning herself to leaving work an hour early, Quinn pushed through the next couple hours, answering phone calls and trying to transfer and discharge any patients that were still in the emergency room. At the end of her shift, she packed up her bag and headed for the exit.

“Silver!”

She froze as _that voice_ rang out across the ER. Quinn clenched her fists as she turned around to see Brett heading in her direction. “Yes?”

“You still haven’t answered my text.”

“I’ve been a little busy, Big case going on.” She kept her responses short and curt, hoping he would grow bored and leave. Brett put his arm against the wall, boxing Quinn between himself and the door. She felt a tightness in her chest as she reached back for the door handle.

“Take a break one day. Come get dinner with me. I hate seeing you so tired and overworked all the time.”

Quinn pushed the door open behind her. “We’ll see, Brett. Good night.” She slipped through the crack in the door and walked as fast as she could towards the hospital entrance. As she left through the main doors, her phone rang and she nearly started to cry. Quinn slowly lifted the phone into her view and saw Amanda’s name flashing across the screen. “Hey ‘Manda.”

“Hey. I’m coming over as soon as I get off. Things are getting a little weird at the station. And you have to show me your dress for Lieu’s wedding.” _Good old no nonsense Amanda._

“Of course. I’ll be home soon. You want Chinese?”

“You know it. See you soon.”

By the time Quinn had gotten home, she had picked up two orders of lo-mein and gathered up the courage to check her phone messages. She deleted the ones from Brett - she didn’t want to see what he wanted from her. There was a text from Amanda saying - not asking - that she would be coming over later, and finally one from _Fordham Law_ with an odd question: Did it hurt????

Quinn tapped out a quick response: _did what hurt??_

 **Fordham Law:** When you broke through the earth’s crust ascending from hell :)

She guffawed loudly, sticking her phone in her back pocket and fumbling with her keys. She saw Amanda coming down the block and waited for her, handing her the bag of food to carry inside. As soon as they got into her apartment, Amanda threw her arms around Quinn, hugging her tightly. Quinn felt a rush of emotion overcome her, and hard as she might, the tears started coming quickly and freely. Her shoulders shook as Amanda held on harder. “Let it out, Q.” Amanda knew her better than to think she had gotten over the events of the last week so quickly. She had known Amanda for the last three years; fresh out of graduate school, Quinn had her first run-in with the SVU detectives when she started working at Bellevue Hospital in the adult emergency room. Rollins and Olivia came to take the victim’s statement and worked closely with Quinn until discharge. They had even had a small celebration in the squad room after she got her license and shortly thereafter was transferred to the pediatric CPEP unit.

Quinn didn’t have many friends outside of the SVU detectives - if she could even really consider the rest of them her _friends_. Work colleagues at best. She had been born and raised on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, yet everyone that she knew at some point had been cut out of her life. It wasn’t until she graduated that she realized everyone had stopped talking to her, probably because she herself would never reach out to anyone in the first place. In her mind, they had abandoned her and that was that. She held on to Amanda as the two of them sank down onto her couch and sniffed back the last of her sobs. “Thanks Amanda… I’m sorry about this.”

“It’s fine, Quinn. That’s what I’m here for. Now let’s eat and you can tell me all about this dickhead dumping you.”

Quinn pulled out the take-out boxes and plastic forks from the bag, drew her feet up onto the couch, and began to recount the entire story from day one.

*****

 _So you left for Atlanta I guess and didn’t mention anything but that’s not the point_ (Quinn, I texted you that morning), _not the point. Mike was driving me to work after another night of arguing and somehow the make-up sex was really mediocre. Like… really mediocre. He’s usually so into it and unforgiving and you know I tend to push his buttons a little because I like how he gets. But it was just lackluster this time._ (Spare me the genital details this time, we’re eating)

 _Sorry. Anyway, he pulled up to the hospital and just… ‘This isn’t working out, babe. I think we need to move on.”_ (No, he didnt…) _He did. I almost hit him in the car. No explanation, nothing. He just kept staring out the window and waited for me to fucking leave._ (The nerve… Who does he think he is?) _God’s gift to women, apparently. So I went to work and called Liv about a case and told her not to tell Mike about it. I don’t need him coming into my workplace for a while and pissing me off. I have patients to deal with._

 _And who comes to the hospital? None other than our ray of fuckin’ sunshine, Sonny Carisi._ (He mentioned that you two have been spending some time together) _Not by any choice of mine, you know. Liv must have told him I was in a mood because he comes to the ER with giant cannoli and coffee and was just so… how do you deal with him every day?_ (We kind of just ignore it most days) _Lucky you. So I’m annoyed as all hell and he figures out that Mike dumped me and just leaves to go do his job or whatever. Turns out, whatever DNA the girl had on her matched the DNA from some big serial rapist case Barba was working on with_ Dodds _._

(You’re kidding…) _I wish I was, Amanda. So it turns out because they wanted me to work with this family on the case, Liv reassigned the case to Carisi probably just so me and Mike wouldn’t have to interact for a while. It was a sweet gesture, but with unintended consequences._ (Is that why Mike wouldn’t talk to anyone today?) _Probably. He lost his shit on Benson since he’s big, bad sergeant Dodds and shouldn’t have been taken off the case and it was worse when he found out that I was involved. So he made a scene in the squad room and everyone heard him and the only real option for me was to get the fuck out of there._ (I wish I had been there to kick his ass.) _I booked it to the cafe on the corner and fucking Fordham shows up with his stupid coffee and cannoli again and let me vent to him for a bit and - get this - he kept saying he wanted to be there for me and some bullshit like that._

(Carisi? I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him, but you guys have never been the best of friends…) _That’s what I thought. But he drove me to Barba’s after I apparently drunk texted him, and he’s just been… there? You know? It was like a breath of fresh air after Mike._ (Q, I love you, but it sounds like you’re getting attached too quickly and you know how that ends). _No, no attachment. It's just nice to know that it's not the end of the world without Mike._

_*****_

“Wow, Quinn,” Amanda said. “Remind me never to go out of town again. It's like everything blew up and I'm coming back to the squad room on fire.” Quinn laughed as Amanda excused herself to answer her phone.

“You just got off work; who could possibly be calling you at this hour?” Quinn asked, setting her food down and leaning back on the couch.

“Yeah, I'm with her right now,” Amanda said into the phone, casting a sideways glance at Quinn and raising an eyebrow. Quinn frowned - who the hell was interested in her? “You know she has her own phone, right? You don't need to middleman me.” Quinn cocked her head at Amanda, who tilted the phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes. “Carisi wants to know if you're upset with him.”

Stunned, Quinn stammered a response. “No? Why would I be?”

“He says he texted you a joke and you never wrote back and he's praying to god he didn't offend you or I might murder him. Is that right, Carisi?” Amanda said the last bit directly into the phone and Quinn laughed.

“Tell him I've been busy. I'll get back to him in a second.” Amanda hung up on the other detective and sat back down.

“That's uncharacteristic of him. And you for that matter.”

“You know, Amanda,” Quinn sighed. “Sometimes it's just nice to feel special or _wanted_ . You don't have to worry about me or him or anything.” She dug her phone out and saw frantic messages from Carisi asking if she was upset with him and that he didn't really mean that she was a demon out of hell. She smiled lightly and responded: _Don't worry about it, Fordham. Got caught up talking with Rollins. I literally LOLed when I read it :)_

  
Carisi sent back a string of smiley faces and Quinn set her phone back down. “I try not to worry about you, Quinn, really. I know we’re both a little hot headed but we can take care of ourselves. And I trust you to do what you need to do.” After a somber silence, Amanda finally spoke up again. “So show me this dress!”


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME. It's been a long time coming and I finally have a moment to myself to breathe. Here's the latest installment of Coffee and Cannoli and I PROMISE that the next chapter is coming super super soon

Olivia’s wedding was creeping up and Quinn was swamped with paperwork she had been trying to complete before the weekend. It was getting warmer - April in New York City was usually quite forgiving - and the shift from winter somehow brought in a wave of patients every day. The serial rapist case she had been assisting on slowed down, hitting a legal wall because of an inability to track down the suspect. Quinn had used that time to reorient herself in the emergency room at Bellevue, keeping herself as busy as possible to avoid distraction from Brett when he was there. He caught her while she was getting coffee from the Au Bon Pain pop up in the lobby.

“Silver!” She cringed and let go of the button on the coffee machine. Quinn looked up and Brett was loping towards her, reaching for a coffee cup. “Fancy catching you here. Thought you were working on some high-profile case down with SVU.”

“They don’t need me for any investigative work. I’m not a detective,” she replied dryly, looking around for the creamer cups that were often stacked in a container nearby. “I’m still employed here so I have to actually do my job instead of fucking around.” The last part came out meaner than she had intended, but Quinn was so burnt out from all her notes that she didn’t have it in her to entertain the resident.

“Sounds awful, Silver. What’cha doin’ this weekend?”

“Going to a wedding,” she answered, half regretting it as soon as it was out of her mouth. He raised his eyebrow and stood in the way between her and the cashier. “Lieutenant Benson is getting married. I’ve been invited and I think after the last few weeks it will be a nice get away.”

“You need a plus one?”

“I am the plus one.” It wasn’t entirely a lie - she had originally been invited as Mike’s date.

“Still going with the sergeant? Or are you two back together?” Floored by his comment, Quinn squeezed past Brett and dropped a five on the counter. “Look, the nurses talk, okay? Not my fault it’s when I walk by.” He scooted up behind Quinn and she stiffened.

“For your information, you’re incorrect on both counts. And my personal relationships aren’t really your business, now, are they?” She started to walk away and Brett called after her again.

“Sure they are - if you had your tough cop boyfriend I wouldn’t be able to ask you out, now would I?” Quinn squeezed the cup in her hand and quickly stalked back to the emergency room. _This is harassment. Is he just a young resident who’s getting ahead of himself? Why am I trying to justify this?_ She closed herself back in her office and noticed the voicemail button was lit up on her phone. She picked up the receiver and dialed the mailbox number.

“Quinn? It’s Amanda. Can’t reach you on your cell so I figured I’d try here. Gimme a ring when you can. We’ve got some Dodds Drama.” Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes, dialing Amanda’s cell number and listening to it ring once before Rollins answered. “Jesus, Quinn, where have you been?”

“Put my phone away to finish work before the wedding. What’d Mike do now?”

“Are you sitting down? Because he just made a passing comment to Benson that he’s bringing a date to the wedding.” Quinn gasped.

“He can’t do that… That’s my plus one spot… And she’s going to have to rearrange seating again probably.” Quinn was well aware that Olivia had some wiggle room with guests and that her presence was all but guaranteed, but she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. “Besides, it’s been a month… who did he suddenly pull out of thin air?”

“I dunno, Q, but I just figured I’d warn you before you show up to the place on Saturday.”

“Thanks Amanda… Now I’ve got four days to hate my life and get my shit together so he realizes what he’s missing.” Amanda laughed and the two of them hung up. Quinn sighed and lay down on her crossed arms on her desk. She didn’t want to be this upset about Mike’s date. She didn’t want to think about him with anyone else. She didn’t want to think about him at all. She wanted to call Carisi and have him bring her comfort food and more coffee, but he had been silent all day. And suddenly it was 5pm and it was time to go home.

The rest of the week went by like clockwork. Session. Note. Session. Note. Meeting. Session. Note. Home. She was running on empty by the end of it - a product of staying up at night and playing out every possible scenario about the upcoming weekend in her head. As she made her way to her apartment Friday evening, her phone rang and she perked up when Fordham Law appeared. “Hey Fordham.”

“Hey CPEP. How’s it going?”

“Eh. Long time no chat.” “I’ve been on a job. Were you worried? You were definitely worried. I’ll tell you all about it when I pick you up tomorrow? 8AM alright?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Carisi.” Quinn stopped dead in her tracks. “First of all, I was not worried. Second of all, why are you picking me up? I am entirely out of the way for you. And 8AM? Why on God’s green earth am I getting up that early?” Sonny chuckled on the other end of the line and Quinn huffed loudly.

“Well, CPEP, I’m glad I didn’t worry you then. And I’m picking you up because Liv suddenly told me I need somebody to walk down the aisle with and it’ll look stupid if I go alone. Rollins is walking with Amaro, Barba is walking with someone on Tucker’s side, and so is Fin. I’m the only one unaccounted for and you’re the first person I could think of.” Quinn’s heart skipped a beat. “It’ll be like that date you owe me.” She knew he’d be winking at her if they were talking in person and she smiled, picking up the pace and heading up the stairs into her home.

“Okay, Fordham. I’ll be ready and outside at eight.”

“Perfect. See you then, CPEP.” She hung up and flopped down on her couch. The dress she was planning on wearing hung by the door in its pristine dry-cleaner plastic bag. She was sure Mike would lose his mind when he saw her in it - after all, she had still been with him when she bought it and she knew what he liked. After a quick shower, she blow dried her hair and packed up her overnight bag before heading to sleep. According to Olivia, she and Tucker had reserved a bunch of hotel rooms for out of area guests, so she didn’t have to worry about getting home assuming Sonny would choose to stay at the hotel. This also meant she could get sloppily drunk without any repercussions as far as she was concerned.

Carisi, true to his word, was waiting outside her apartment at 8AM sharp with the Toyota parked a few feet away. Making sure all of her make up, toiletries, and clothes were in the overnight back, she grabbed the dress off of the coat hook by the door, slipped on her black heels, and tried not to kill herself going down the stairs. “How are you already dressed?” she exclaimed, giving the dapper detective a once over. He chuckled and popped the trunk with his key fob, placing his hand on her back as a hint that she could go put her belongings inside.

“Ma woke up before I did and ironed everything so she cut down on some of my prep time.”

“I can tell. Your hair looks ultra gelled today,” she joked, closing the trunk. “Unfortunately, I don’t have a caring Italian mother to dress me in the morning, so I’ll have to figure everything out when we get there.” Suddenly, Carisi swept her up into his arms, squeezing her around the waist. Out of breath and alarmed, Quinn awkwardly patted his shoulders and dropped her hands down to his biceps. “What was that for?” she mumbled as he abruptly let go of her.

“I’ve been UC on a case. It was rough. I just missed your company, is all.” He brushed an imaginary stray hair back from her face and moved to get in the driver’s seat. Quinn made to reach out for him but drew her hand back and went to sit in the car. As she opened the passenger side door, she saw two cups sitting in the cupholder and a paper bag on the seat. “Coffee and cannoli?” Sonny smiled.

“Coffee and cannoli.” Quinn grinned and picked up the bag, placing it in her lap as she buckled herself in.

“These are different than the ones you usually got, Fordham,” she said, licking the cream off the edge of the pastry.

“Ma made them last night. Told her I owed my date to the wedding and she refused to let me go get store bought.” Quinn blushed slightly and turned to stare out the window, polishing off the cannoli before picking up the coffee cup.

“She sounds like a nice lady, letting her grown son live with her and all.” She hadn’t meant for it to come out like such a jab, quickly turning to flash Sonny a grin so he knew she was joking. His response, however, threw her off guard.

“You know I have my own place, right, CPEP?” Stunned and embarrassed, Quinn started to stammer. “Relax,” he chuckled. “It’s nice to have a home cooked meal once in awhile, and then I get to borrow their car the next day.” They talked the entire ride to Long Island. She found out that Sonny lived in a small, rent-stabilized apartment in Williamsburg that used to belong to his grandfather, and had moved there shortly after transferring to Manhattan SVU. Sonny dominated the conversation, talking about his whole family from his grandparents to his nieces, and Quinn watched him in awe as his whole face lit up. She wished she had such favorable memories about her family. She was so lost in thought that she hadn’t heard him ask her a question.

“CPEP, you hear me? What about you? What’s your family like?” She bit down on her lip harder than intended. This was neither the time nor place for her to start throwing out her entire life story. She had already let the detective in further than she ever wanted to following her break up. In what seemed like a short amount of time, she had become unnaturally reliant on Carisi to brighten her day with one of his silly little quips. She didn’t know what compelled him to be so caring towards her - it’s not like she was particularly friendly with him during her encounters with the Special Victims Unit. _“That’s just the kind of person he is, Q. Good ol’ Carisi,”_ Amanda had said one day when Quinn had voiced her suspicions.

“They’re a family I guess. I don’t really talk to them much anymore.” Sonny was quiet and Quinn already regretted saying anything. She should have just lied and said she had a perfect nuclear family.

“Where are you from?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“Here. Chicago. We lived in the city for a while growing up, moved to Chicago when I was in high school. I got tired of it out there and came back here.”

“You ever see them? Like holidays and stuff?”

“This is going to be my fourth Christmas alone. Scratch that, Mike came over last Christmas before some Dodds family function that I didn’t want to intrude on. Regardless, I don’t particularly go back to see them or anything, no.” She drew a sharp breath as Sonny nearly missed the entrance to the hotel and swerved onto the side street.

“Sorry ‘bout that, CPEP. The turn and about your folks.”

“It’s fine. Really.” She sighed and unbuckled her seatbelt while Sonny pulled into a parking spot. He unlocked the trunk and she all but ran out of the car to grab her bag and dress. They walked in silence into the hotel, directed by friendly desk clerks to the party hall and dressing rooms where everyone was getting ready. Desperate to detach herself from the awkwardness lingering between them, she sought out Amanda who was busy trying to stuff Jesse into a frilly, toddler sized chiffon dress. As she made her way across the room, she overheard Fin shout from the other doorway.

“Yo, you owe me twenty bucks. Told you she was coming with Carisi!”

“You bet on this?” Quinn asked, gaze darting from Fin to Amanda.

“Absolutely. I could have sworn he was going to bring one of his sisters. At least that was the original plan when Olivia asked him to bring a date.” Amanda frowned at Carisi as he shrugged and disappeared into the other room where the men were getting dressed. Quinn shook her head in exasperation and started to peel off her clothes behind the French screen in the room.

As she stepped out from behind the screen, Amanda and the women from Tucker’s side gasped. “Q, you look fantastic. This is even better than when I saw it last month,” Amanda said, bouncing Jessie on her knee.

“You sure it’s not too much? I wasn’t originally in the bridal party, I don’t want to upstage Liv…” she mumbled.

“Olivia is a grown woman and she is wearing a very simple dress because she doesn’t care how she looks, she’s marrying the guy she loves,” Rollins pointed out. “You, my dear, are here to look slamming in the face of your ex-boyfriend.” Jessie shrieked and Quinn laughed, gathering up the skirt of her dress and sitting down at the vanity to put on her makeup. Amanda was right - she was going to have a good time and look great doing it. Quinn felt a twinge of guilt with Amanda’s last comment. She hadn’t intended to create a rift between Mike and the other detectives, but she knew Amanda was able to keep her personal and professional alliances separate. Maybe the wedding wouldn’t be such a big deal. After all, she could have fun and avoid Mike and then everyone would have a great time sans drama.

Quinn finished powdering her face and got up to stretch her legs - it would be a long night and she hadn’t packed flats or flip flops or anything along the lines of comfortable footwear. She caught sight of Carisi standing with Barba by the entrance to the wedding hall and made her way towards them. Barba caught her eye and slapped Sonny in the arm with the back of his hand, nodding in Quinn’s direction. As she approached them, Sonny turned around and Quinn swore his eyes were replaced with dinner plates. “Do I look alright?” she asked sheepishly, smoothing down the front of her dress and fidgeting with her bracelet.

Sonny swallowed hard and stammered until Barba elbowed him sharply in the side. “You look great, Quinn. I hope you’ll save a dance for me and Carisi tonight,” Barba said as Sonny regained his composure.

“I’ll pencil you in, Rafael. I wouldn’t worry about Fordham, after all I _am_ his date.” She snaked her arm around Sonny’s waist and noted his hesitance before he wrapped his arm around her. “Should we get ready to go in?” she asked, looking up at Sonny. Even in heels Quinn felt very small compared to the six foot tall man next to her as he tucked her away under his arm. She was broken out of her thoughts by the wedding party getting ready at the entrance to the hall.

“Guess it’s showtime, CPEP,” Sonny said, letting go of Quinn to offer her his arm as they stood in line. She hooked her arm in his, fumbling with the bouquet of flowers another bridesmaid hurriedly shoved into her hands. Quinn smiled up at Carisi who mirrored it back to her as they walked behind the rest of the wedding party.  _Nothing can ruin this for me today._


	7. Chapter Seven

It didn't take long for Quinn to realize she and Sonny were standing right behind Mike and whoever it was he brought with him to the wedding. As they split in front of the officiant, she kept her eyes trained on Olivia as she walked down the aisle, willing herself to just disappear from sight for the duration of the ceremony. As the lieutenant took her place at the center of the platform with Tucker, Quinn turned her head slightly to watch the wedding vows and caught sight of both Mike and Sonny staring at her. She could feel the redness creeping into her cheeks and quickly looked in Olivia's direction.

The ceremony seemed to take forever as Olivia and Tucker vowed to love each other til death do they part and so on. As soon as it ended, Quinn breathed a sigh of relief and followed the rest of the wedding party out into the reception hall. An arm snaked around her waist and she jerked away to see Sonny standing next to her. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, Quinn smiled weakly at him.

"Y'alright CPEP? You looked like you were going to pass out standing there," Sonny asked, leading her to the table where their place-cards were waiting on empty dinner plates.

"I'm fine, Fordham. Just got a little light headed is all." She sat down, tucking her dress to the side as she scooted the chair closer to the table. Amanda and Amaro were seated next to her and Barba and Fin were on the other side of Sonny. Scanning the hall, she noted that Mike and his date were at a table with former SVU detectives Elliot Stabler, John Munch, and Don Cragen. Sonny pulled her out of her thoughts by asking if she wanted a drink and Quinn offered to go to the bar with him.

There, they ran into Barba who was ordering a scotch on the rocks. Sonny ordered himself a Jack and Coke and, with a little prompting, a Honey Jack Lemonade for Quinn. "Wasn't that a beautiful ceremony? I thought it was a beautiful ceremony," Sonny chirped, leaning back against the bar between Quinn and Barba.

"You can't be drunk already, Carisi," Barba said, swirling the drink in his hand before taking a sip. "But yes, it was very nice. Olivia and Tucker make a great couple." Quinn didn't realize that she had practically chugged the drink until the ice cubes clacked against her teeth. She quietly placed the glass down on the bar and motioned for a refill. She prayed nobody noticed, but she caught Barba's raised eyebrow as he looked away from her and into his own glass.

After all the speeches and toasts, the DJ started playing and Sonny finished off his drink, grabbing Quinn by the hand and pulling her onto the dance floor. She stumbled behind him and fell into his arms, chalking it up to the tile floor and her heels rather than the three drinks she had pounded back in a short amount of time. Carisi adjusted his grip, sliding a hand around her waist and holding her right hand in his left. All motor skills failing her, Quinn fumbled with his jacket collar before finally resting her hand on his shoulder. He slowly took the lead, holding onto Quinn tightly after noticing her wobbling. She looked up at Sonny and saw him smiling down at her. "You're a mess, you know that CPEP?"

"Really, Fordham? That's something I haven't heard yet," she shot back sarcastically. He laughed and held her tighter. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they swayed to the old timey love song she couldn't place. As the song ended and changed to a more upbeat one, she found herself torn away from Sonny and he was replaced with Rafael Barba. Quinn watched Sonny walk back to the bar before turning to Barba. "Am I a mess?" she blurted out as he spun her around. Stunned, Rafael raised an eyebrow and sighed.

"Are you drunk already, Quinn?" he asked. She stammered and he chuckled. "I can imagine this is a very nerve wracking situation, ex-boyfriend and loyal puppy dog vying for your attention all night."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, cocking her head. Barba nodded behind Quinn and turned them around so she could see Mike and his date dancing nearby. However, Mike's gaze was  _still_  trained on Quinn up until they made eye contact. Barba spun them back around and Quinn frowned. "Why is Mike glaring at me? How long has this been going on? And what do you mean 'puppy dog'?" The questions hurtled out from her like bullets from a gun and Barba grinned.

"Don't tell me you're truly that naive, Quinn. I thought better of you." She grumbled something under her breath as he continued. "Dodds has been making eyes at you all night even his date is starting to notice, and Carisi has been restraining himself from throwing himself at your feet."

"Carisi?" she asked, shocked. "I'm only here with him because he needed someone to walk into the ceremony with. Besides, I'm like ninety nine percent certain he's hiding some girlfriend because he keeps avoiding the question. You're completely wrong, Rafael, and I'm sure you haven't heard that many times in your career."

"You flatter me, Quinn. But, whatever you say. You seem certain. Drunk, but certain."

Quinn  _hmmmph_ ed and the two of them laughed as the song ended. He walked her back to their table where Carisi was waiting with another Honey Jack Lemonade for her next to the plate of food that was handed out while she was dancing. "Did you have fun with Barba, CPEP?" he asked, draping his arm over the back of her chair. She nodded and began to eat the chicken dish in front of her, taking her time with the drink. Amanda chatted her up from her other side and they discussed sleeping arrangements. Rollins and Amaro had gotten a larger bedroom in the hotel, enough to fit themselves, Jesse and Zara comfortably. Quinn, who was originally supposed to be sleeping in Mike's room, found herself bedless for the night and joked that she would just sleep at the bar. Amanda assured her that there would definitely be a place for her to crash, even if it was on the couch in her and Amaro's suite. She turned back to Carisi, only to find him and Barba sitting oddly close together and discussing something in hushed tones. She cleared her throat and Sonny shot up.

Quinn finished off the drink and motioned to the dance floor. Sonny jumped at the occasion and Quinn noted Barba raising his eyebrows and grinning at her. She brushed it off and followed Sonny out, where she wrapped her arms around his neck, eliminating the space between them. She felt his breath hitch slightly. Sonny gently placed his hands back on her waist and she pressed herself as close as humanly possible to him. Quinn knew deep down that there was nothing organic about her sudden need to practically give Sonny a boner in the middle of the dance floor. All impulse control went out the window as she already decided to get yet another drink by the end of this song. Sonny grasped at her sides and she slid her hands under his arms and clutched at his back, standing on her toes to rest her chin on his shoulder.

The poor detective was trying so hard to control his breathing from stopping and his hands from roaming further than their current position. She grinned to herself, realizing that Mike was sitting nearby. Quinn pushed her hips against Sonny's, practically straddling his thigh as the two of them swayed to the song playing over the speakers. As the last notes rang out, Sonny quickly let go of her, stepping back and adjusting his jacket. "You're going to give me a heart attack, CPEP, you know that?" he muttered as she bit her lip, smiling up at him.

"I'll be at the bar if you need me," she said, turning on her heel and making her way across the dance floor, making sure that Mike had seen her. She sat at the bar, ordering a tequila pineapple. "Me and open bars are a mistake," she said to nobody in particular, taking a sip of her drink.

One drink turned into four and a tequila shot as she tapped her nails on the counter. She had assumed that "I'll be at the bar if you need me" was enough of a hint for Sonny to get his shit together and come join her. She whirled around on the stool and scanned the hall through her already fuzzy vision, but she couldn't find the lanky detective.

"I saw him go upstairs," Barba said, appearing next to her.

"Rafi!" Quinn chirped in her drunken haze. She held out her arms and the ADA gave her a hug, helping her stand up straight.

"I know you're not thinking straight but don't let anyone hear you call me that. I'll never hear the end of it." He sighed as she bent over to take her heels off. "That's probably a good idea."

"Where's Fordham, Rafi? I don' see 'im."

"He went upstairs. It's pretty late, Quinn, I figure he went to shower after you practically dry humped him on the dance floor. I don't think anyone would have survived that kind of ambush." Barba laughed as she tried to pull up her dress so her feet wouldn't get tangled in it.

"Where's 'Manda?"

"Probably putting the kids to bed. Again, Quinn, it's late. I know you're drunk but time hasn't stopped entirely yet." She gave Barba a kiss on the forehead, holding his cheeks in her hands.

"You're a good friend, Rafi. Always lookin' out for me and shit. Goodnight, Rafi." He laughed and shook his head, watching her stumble towards the elevator. She didn't know what her plan was, but if it all went south she would chalk it up to being drunk and letting The Disorder run wild. She was no stranger to how textbook Borderline she behaved - poor impulse control, gross misuse of alcohol, whatever the hell had just happened on that dance floor. Was she trying to make Mike pay attention to her? Sonny? She didn't have the answers. She probably would in the morning after an aspirin and long shower with time to think, but that wasn't the case right now.

She got off on the floor Amanda told her about earlier, counting the doors until she came to the female detective's room. After all, Amanda  _did_ suggest she could crash on their couch. She knocked gently on the door, remembering that Barba said Amanda was putting the kids down. Quinn raised her fist to knock again when she heard a muffled  _sssshing_  coming from inside. The door creaked open and Quinn peered through the dark crack to see Sonny's face illuminated by the hall light.

Quinn froze, instantly sobering up. Sonny opened the door a little more and Quinn backed away as she saw his shirtless form, mind fogging with racing thoughts that she did not care to detangle. She tried to speak but it came out in a strangled choking sound as she dropped her shoes and tore down the hallway. She heard him call after her but she had already gotten into the elevator and slammed her hand against the Lobby button.  _What the hell was he doing in Amanda's room? Where is Amanda. She's up there, isn't she. She's with Sonny in her room. Shirtless Sonny. Where's Amaro? What is going on?_

The thoughts raced through her head as the doors opened and she saw Amaro tossing back shots with Tucker and a bunch of men she didn't know. She laughed bitterly - if there wasn't hope for them there wasn't hope for anyone. There was no sign of Barba and Quinn, with nowhere else to go, sat down on a couch in the lobby and brought her knees up to her chest, hiding her head in her crossed arms. She didn't know how long she had sat like that, or whether she had actually fallen asleep for a bit, but she was brought back to reality by the couch cushion sinking in next to her. Quinn raised her head, blinking away the bleariness to avoid smearing her make-up entirely.

"Hey there Quinn."

She shrank back as her vision focused on the man sitting next to her. "Mike? What do you want?" she said dryly. Mike leaned back against the wall, folding his hands in his lap.

"You look like you could use some company, and it doesn't look like Carisi is around to cheer you up like he has been since… you know."

"And  _you_  wanna keep me company?" she asked skeptically.

"I figured we could dance before the DJ packs up. It's getting pretty late."

"Everyone keeps telling me that today…" she mumbled, getting up. Mike noted her missing shoes but decided against mentioning it. "Let's get this over with then."

She kept her distance with Mike, holding him nearly at arm's length and looking down at the floor. Tears rolled down her cheek and Mike lifted her chin, wiping them away with his thumb. The gesture was enough to send Quinn into a fit of sobs and Mike held her to his chest, shushing her and resting his head on hers. She sniffed and pulled away, looking up at him. "Where's your date?" she asked, wiping her nose on her wrist.

"She's a cop that lives nearby. She went home for the night. Where did Carisi go?"

Quinn sighed. "He's otherwise occupied right now. And I don't have the cash for an Uber or anything back home so I guess I'm going to just pass out at the bar and hope nobody minds."

"Quinn," Mike said suddenly. "Can we go somewhere to talk? I think we need to talk."

Stunned by his sudden question, Quinn nodded and Mike led her to the elevator. "Where are we going to  _talk_ , Mike?"

"My room? I figure it's private enough there without anyone getting into our business." Quinn frowned but followed him against her better judgement. They got to his room and Quinn collapsed into an armchair in the corner. Mike took off his jacket and shoes and sat on the edge of the bed. They sat in silence for a while as Quinn picked at her nails until Mike suddenly spoke up. "I think we ended on a bad note, Quinn."

"You think?" she shot back. "You dumped me right before work and you thought that was going to end well? What part of abandonment issues don't you understand." She hadn't meant to be so snarky, but if they were going to talk, she was  _going to talk_.

"I don't know, Quinn, I wasn't thinking. I was getting overwhelmed and it seemed like-"

"Like what? Your only way out? Was I that terrible that you needed out  _that_  badly?" Quinn stood up and stomped over to Mike, poking her finger into his chest. "You said I was the best lay of your life, you said you  _loved_  me, I opened up to you about  _all_  my psychological issues and you just decided to bail like that? That was your genius plan?" Mike stood up and grabbed Quinn by the wrist before she permanently bruised the spot she was jamming her finger into.

"Well, what about me, huh?" he retorted. "The smallest thing threw you into a frenzy and we couldn't even talk without you manipulating the situation into some sort of slight against you. So how was I supposed to know you wanted to keep this up for whatever reason?" Quinn made a noise somewhere between a groan and a screech and tried to wrench herself from Mike's grip. She only succeeded in making him stand up and tower over her. She fell backwards into the dresser and took Mike with her. He let go of her, using both hands to hold the dresser so he wouldn't crush her, trapping her between his arms. Her chest heaved as their faces were inches away.

"I fucking hate you," she grunted.

"I fucking hate you too," he responded, crushing his lips against hers. Quinn squeaked and pushed against his chest, detaching herself. As Mike tried to stutter out an apology, Quinn balled her fists in his shirt and pulled him in, kissing him hard on the mouth. Mike wrapped his arms around her torso, lifting her off the ground and carrying her towards the bed where their clothes ended up in a pile on the ground. Her common sense and judgment was screaming at her as she clung to Mike, letting him take over in a sickeningly familiar way.

As he crawled on top of her and mouthed at her neck, grinding his pelvis into hers, Quinn wasn't seeing his face. It wasn't Mike's face hovering over hers, dripping sweat onto the pillows. It wasn't Mike's mouth leaving hot kisses on her skin. It wasn't Mike's voice moaning in her ear and it  _definitely_  wasn't Mike's name on the tip of her tongue, threatening to erupt.

Mike suddenly shuddered and tightened his grip on her shoulders. "Where do you -" he grunted and Quinn, knowing exactly what he was asking, pushed him off of her and disappeared under the covers, taking his length into her mouth and finishing him off. "I wasn't expecting  _that_  after everything," he said as she surfaced. There was less clean up this way and Quinn was honestly ready for this to be over. Mike gathered her up in his arms. "Would it be too much to ask for some cuddling?" She sighed and settled in against his chest. "Can I ask you something, Quinn?"

She braced herself, not knowing what he could possibly want from her after this.

"Shoot."

"Do you think we could work? Again, I mean. Do you think we have another chance?"

"Mike," she said, leaning on her elbow to look at him. "You broke up with me, remember?" Something inside of her was screaming to take him back, to be the Sargeant's girlfriend again and go back as if nothing had happened. Something inside of her wanted her to throw herself at Mike and go for round two. But something else was louder than those voices. "I don't think this is healthy for either of us."

Disappointed, Mike sighed. "I figured as much. Quinn, I did really love you. I still do, and I want you to be happy."

"Don't say that, Mike…"

"It's true, Quinn. Maybe I was wrong to give up on us so quickly at the first sign of trouble, and that's my fault. But I want you to be okay."

Quinn sat up and Mike followed suit, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. "I still care about you a lot, Mike, but I need something a lot more stable than constant arguments solved with sex. It's not healthy. I realize the irony in the Borderline saying that but it's not good for either of us, Mike."

Mike sighed again. "You're right, Quinn. Maybe we would have been right for each other at a different time, but not now." They sat in silence for a while until Mike chimed in again. "I would, however, like it not to be awkward at work."

"We can be civil when I swing by the station," Quinn said, shrugging.

"Quinn, I want you to be able to talk to me if you need anything. I don't want that to have to change. It kills me to see you running to Carisi. And whatever it was you did with him on that dance floor earlier… God… I was half expecting him to drag you upstairs then and there." Quinn shoved him roughly.

"We can work up to being friends again, Mike. We never had that opportunity the way we got together. And why is everyone implying shit about Carisi all night. It's not like he has any real feelings for me."

Mike shrugged. "If you say so, Quinn. I'm just looking out for you. What are friends for?" He grinned and Quinn couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you mind if I crash here tonight? I don't really have anywhere else to go." Mike nodded and the two of them crawled into bed. Mike offered her a tee shirt and a pair of clean boxers and Quinn curled up under the comforter. "No funny business, okay? This was our break up and make up sex."

"Okay, okay, just shut the light off and go to bed."

Quinn leaned over to click off the lamp and felt Mike's hand grab her breast in the darkness.

"I said no funny business!"

"It was worth a shot!"

"Goodnight Mike."

"Night Quinn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I literally met Andy Karl and I had such a hard time not projecting this fanfiction onto him so I decided on sort of a Mike Dodds redemption scene because Andy was honestly the sweetest person in the world and he didn't deserve the perma-asshole characterization. So here's a messy mistake of a hook up and stay tuned for what ensues after!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Meaghan for the inspiration for this Quinn/Rafael banter... it's as if we actually had this conversation.

Sunlight filtered in through the window and hit Quinn straight in the face. She groaned and lifted her head off her pillow, peeling the blankets off of her sweaty body. Her head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and every movement made her stomach flip. Reaching over to pull the curtains closed, a sharp snore from behind startled her. Quinn turned around and came face to face with her latest bad decision.

Mike had woken himself up with the snore and blinked sleepily, stretching out across the width of the bed. "Good morning, sunshine," he mumbled, patting her thigh. Quinn groaned again and forced herself to stand up, wobbling towards the bathroom to take a shower. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today," Mike called after her.

"More like the wrong bed, period," she shot back, turning on the water and stepping in after taking off her clothes. After struggling with the tiny sized shampoos and soap, Quinn finally emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy white towel. Mike, who was nowhere near in as awful a state as Quinn was, had already gotten dressed and entered the bathroom to brush his teeth. Quinn stood in the middle of the room, rubbing the back of her calf with her foot. "Uh, Mike?" she called out. "I didn't bring my bag up here last night did I?"

Mike made a noise while he finished brushing and spat the paste out. "No, you didn't. You didn't even have shoes with you." Quinn muttered to herself and went to go find her dress from the night before. If she was going to do the walk of shame she might as well go the full nine. She zipped up the dress and lifted the skirt, knotting it mid-thigh so it wouldn't drag on the ground. Mike's phone started vibrating on the bedside table and Quinn went to pick it up to hand it to him.

"Hey Rollins," Mike said into the phone. "Quinn?" He looked over at Quinn and she shook her head, making a slitting motion across her throat with her hand. "Yeah, I'm with her, what's going on?" Quinn smacked herself in the forehead and subsequently punched Mike in the shoulder when he hung up. "That was Amanda. She has your phone and your bag. She said Sonny's been frantically looking for you  _all_  morning." He said the last bit with a smirk on his face and Quinn readied herself to punch him again.

"That's great, but what part of my motioning for you not to say anything did you miss?" she hissed, flipping her hair out of her face and stalking towards the door. "Now I have to deal with  _that_  conversation with Amanda. And Sonny." Oh God, Sonny. She still had a long ride back home with him, assuming he still wanted to drive her home after last night. Assuming anyone was still leaving with the people they came here with. She huffed, the sight of Sonny's shirtless body peeking out of Amanda's hotel room seared into her memory forever.

She took the elevator downstairs with Mike and when the doors opened to the lobby, she was greeted by a sheepish Sonny and Rollins with Amaro and the children. Her heels were hanging from Sonny's hand and he held them up as she approached. "Good morning, Cinderella," he said, smiling at her. She snatched her shoes out of his hand, slipping them on before turning to Amaro to ask where her bag was.

"Sonny already put it in his car. We're ready to go, just wanted to say bye and make sure you were alright. Sonny said you looked upset last night and disappeared." Amaro patted her on the arm and she sighed.  _If only you knew what was going on_. She ignored Amanda's questioning stare and the four of them walked out of the hotel to their car. Quinn turned around and saw Mike talking to Olivia and Ed. She walked over quietly, not to interrupt their conversation.

"There you are, Quinn!" Olivia said, giving her a hug. "Carisi was worried sick about you. Mike said you ended up crashing with him. I assume you guys have made up?" Mike put his arm around Quinn's shoulder and hugged her to his side.

"Best friends, right Quinn?"

She raised an eyebrow and nodded. "It's all good, Liv. Congratulations again. I'll probably be on my way home." Olivia smiled at her.

"I'm glad you came, Quinn. Get home safe."

Olivia and Tucker walked away and Quinn looked up at Mike. "You don't need to keep this act up, but could you give me a ride home?"

"Sorry, Quinn. I've gotta pick up my dad from the train station and drive him further out onto the island for some kind of meeting. Otherwise I would." She wriggled away from him and sighed.

"Guess that leaves me with the awkward car ride back home, huh. Thanks anyway, Mike. I'll see you around." Turning on her heel, Quinn walked back to Sonny.

"You alright, Cinderella? You seemed a little off last night."  _Ah, Sonny. Always straight to the point._

"Can we go back to CPEP please, Fordham? I'd rather that nickname doesn't stick around the precinct." She looked at the ground, fumbling with her dress. "Are you ready to leave?" Sonny nodded and motioned for Quinn to leave. They walked to the parking lot where Quinn spotted his car. Waiting for him to unlock it, she popped open the door and saw her bag sitting under the front passenger seat. Her phone was in the side pocket where she left it. Sitting down, she plugged her phone into Carisi's car charger and waited for it to power up.

Sonny got in the car and turned the key, shifting into reverse and pulling out of the parking lot. Quinn turned on her phone and was greeting with a flood of messages and missed call notifications. Most of the calls were from Sonny and she grimaced. The first text message was from Barba.

 **Barba:** How you feeling there?

 _GREAT!_  she wrote back, hoping the sarcasm would literally drip from his phone screen when he read it.

 **Barba:**  Yeah? Really?

She smirked at his immediate response.  _Could be better, but you know_. Quinn sent the message and put her phone down, ignoring the string of messages from Sonny coming through. She was jarred from her haze by Carisi speaking to her as they got on the Long Island Expressway.

"You wanna talk about last night, CPEP?" She shook her head and looked out the window. "I kinda wanna talk about last night, if that's alright with you." Quinn sighed and leaned back against the headrest. "Imma take that as a no but you're gonna let me anyway, okay?"

"God Fordham just get on with it already!" Quinn snapped, feeling the hangover raging in her head.

"So what happened to you last night?"

"What happened to  _me_? What were  _you_  doing?" she shot back. Carisi, shocked, stepped on the brake a little too sharply and almost sent Quinn into the dashboard. "Are you trying to kill me?" she hissed.

"What the hell are you talking about, CPEP? You're the one who gave everyone a nice show on the dance floor and then booked it. I think the least I deserve is an explanation for the sudden shift." He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as Quinn stared at him with her jaw dropped. She stammered, trying to find the words to answer Sonny. She slipped off her shoes and crossed her legs on the seat.

"I think you need to explain to me what you're doing ruining what could be a great family in the making. That should be of paramount concern and not my drunken antics."

"Excuse me?" Sonny choked out. "What are you talking about? What family?"

"The whole innocent puppy act doesn't work on me, Fordham. You were in Amanda's room. I heard all that shushing and shuffling around. How can you do that to Amanda? To Nick? To the kids? I truly thought you were different. How could you do that -" She was getting choked up as it all spilled out of her. She was caught up in all her righteous fury that she hadn't caught herself shouting "To me?"

"To you? You didn't seem too messed up about it when you came downstairs with Dodds today. What exactly did you think was going on, CPEP?" Sonny's driving was jerky as their argument escalated and he drew a deep breath to focus back on the road. Quinn gave out a shocked squeak at his audacity to bring up Mike.

"You were in  _Amanda's_  room. Amaro was downstairs. I fail to see what you're trying to hide here, Fordham." She crossed her arms and turned away to look out the window. She wasn't expecting it, but Sonny flipped on his turn signal and tore across three lanes to the next exit, slamming on the brakes as he pulled into a Dunkin Donuts parking lot. "Jesus, Fordham, you don't have to give me whiplash." Sonny put the car in park and unbuckled his seatbelt, turning around in the chair and grabbing Quinn's face in his hands. "Let  _go_  of me, you animal!" she snapped.

"You thought Rollins was in there with me? You thought… Oh, oh CPEP, no. Don't tell me you…"

"Yes! Okay, yes, that's what I thought. What else am I supposed to think? I went up to where Amanda said I could crash for the night and  _you_  were there. What other conclusions was I supposed to draw?" Sonny laughed as he pulled her closer and pressed his forehead against hers.

"You poor thing. Amanda was wrecked and she asked if I could stay with the kids for the night. You caught me just as I was changing out of my party clothes. Amanda was up in my room with Amaro and I stayed in hers with Jesse and Zara." Quinn felt her cheeks growing hot and it wasn't because of Sonny's hands. Was it possible that she had misunderstood everything? "If you would have just waited a second I would have explained and you could have crashed on one of the couches. But I guess… you… crashed with Dodds…" Sonny's voice trailed off and he let go of her face.

"Can we just blame that on the alcohol and move on with it?" Her face was still burning and she fished around in her bag for a pack of gum.

"Depends? Are you guys back together?" Quinn frowned as she looked back at Sonny.

"No. Why? Would that bother you?"

"It wouldn't bother me per se, I just don't want him to hurt you again. I don't think I can survive another ambush like that if you were just trying to make him jealous."

Quinn tried to smile but Sonny's earnest expression was breaking her heart. "I'm sorry, Fordham. I didn't mean to fuck everything up. That's just what I'm best at." Sonny reached over and took his hand in hers. She flinched reflexively and he held on tighter.

"Ya didn't fuck anything up, CPEP. Look, you're good with Dodds now, we sorted out whatever miscommunication happened while you were wasted, and you got your shoes back. I think we can call it a good night, don't ya think?" He smiled at her and as if on cue, she burst into tears. Half expecting a hug or some kind of sign of affection, Quinn wiped her eyes and saw that Sonny had gotten out of the car. Confused, she watched him run into the Dunkin Donuts and emerge a few minutes later with two iced coffees and a brown paper bag. "It ain't no cannoli, but a Boston Creme might do the trick this time."

She laughed through her tears and as Carisi sat back down behind the wheel she grabbed him by the forearm. "Thank you, Fordham."

"For what?" he asked, taking a sip of the coffee.

"For putting up with my bullshit. Anyone else would have probably washed their hands of me at this point."

"Don't throw yourself a pity party, CPEP. You're not the terrible person you make yourself out to be. At least not to me, anyways." Quinn took a bite of the doughnut and felt the creme filling ooze out into her mouth. Carisi checked his phone before starting the car again and Quinn smirked.

"Girlfriend?" she asked.

"CPEP, how many times do I gotta tell you that there is no - ah, I see, that was a joke. You're joking. Good old CPEP is back to being herself again." Sonny pulled out of the parking lot and made his way back out onto the highway.

"It was mostly the doughnut, Fordham. Don't take all the credit for it." She fished out her phone and looked through the new messages.

"Er, you can delete all the ones I sent you last night. They're probably just gibberish 'cuz I was typing so fast." Quinn chuckled and opened his message thread.

"'Where'd ya go? Ya left ya shoes. Why are ya so upset? What's going on? Come back here, I wanna talk to youse!'" she read out loud, mimicking his Staten Island accent. Sonny flushed a bright pink but couldn't help but laugh along with her. "What were you so worried about, Fordham? That I was going to drink myself into a coma?"

"Actually, yeah, and I couldn't just leave the kids and run after you in my underwear."

"Well, that was the plan originally. Pass out at the bar like a classy broad. But then Mike wanted to talk and talking turned into arguing and arguing turned into… you know.. And then I told him this wasn't working out and we decided to just be civil with each other." She kicked herself internally. Sonny didn't ask. Sonny didn't need to know what happened upstairs. "So yeah, you're right, great night Fordham. Wouldn't relive it for anything, though."

"You sure, 'cuz I kinda liked that thing you did when we were dancing," he said, earning a venomous glare from Quinn.

"Keep it up and that'll be the last time anything like that ever happens again," she hissed.

"Oh, so there  _is_ hope!"

"I didn't say that! I didn't mean - !" Sonny laughed as she panicked and stumbled over her words.

When they arrived at her house, Quinn unpacked her bags and began to walk up the steps. "You need help with that, CPEP?" Sonny called, opening his door to come after her. Quinn sighed, placing the bags on the stoop and turning around. Sonny had already crossed the street and was ready to take her belongings upstairs. Quinn put her arms around his waist, giving him a light squeeze.

"It's okay, Fordham. I'm a big girl. I can get upstairs on my own." She couldn't help but notice his expression droop slightly. "But thank you for everything. I had a great time with you, Fordham." Unexpectedly, Sonny bent to place a kiss on her forehead before running his thumb across her cheek.

"Thank you for coming with me, CPEP. I'll text you when I get home."

"It's a plan," she said, turning to carry her things inside. Sonny shoved his hands in his pockets and walked back to his car, waiting until she was safely inside before driving away. She heard her phone impatiently buzzing in her bag and dug it out as soon as she made it into her apartment. "Rafael? What?"

"That's a little curt, Quinn, but I'll take it that you're not feeling too hot after last night."

"Well, excuse me, that I have a hard time saying no to free drinks at an open bar."

"I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Carisi was a mess this morning looking for you. He called and texted me about a dozen times throughout the night asking if I had seen you. What happened?"

"I don't think this is an appropriate conversation to have with a work colleague," she started and Barba cut her off with a sharp laugh.

"You slept with the sergeant, tell all your secrets to one of the detetives on the squad, and currently have another one wrapped around your finger. Propriety went out the window a long time ago, Quinn. Spill."

Quinn sighed and relayed the story to Barba. He was silent for quite some time before he laughed again. "I don't see what's so funny about this, _Rafi_." He stopped laughing and spoke.

"I just find it so odd that you can flat out sleep with your ex-boyfriend and Carisi will still move heaven and earth to get you coffee and pastries. He's got it bad. Worse than you on that first case we worked together."

"He does not have  _anything_  any way, Rafi! And you promised never to bring that case up again!"

"You're the one who started calling me  _Rafi_  again." He had gotten her there. The first case they worked together, when Quinn was still a newly licensed social worker, she had fallen for the ADA's quick wit and sharp tongue and in her sudden confusion left all her notes on his desk before she left. Amidst the files were notes with doodles on the edge, where she had called Barba  _Rafi_  in shorthand with a little heart over the  _i_. He made fun of her relentlessly for it and Quinn knew it was her fault entirely that it had popped up again.

"Okay, okay, you got me. I'm home safe and I'm ready to crash since I have a long day at the hospital tomorrow."

"Good to hear, Quinn. I'll keep you posted if anything changes with the Jackson case. Take care of yourself."

"Thanks Barba. Talk to you soon." She hung up the phone, changing out of her dress into pajamas and crawling into bed. It was late afternoon but Quinn was ready to just about pass out. Her phone buzzed again and she groaned.  _If that's Barba again coming to say something stupid I'm going to kill him_.

 **Fordham Law:**  Stuck in traffic. This would be a lot less brutal if you were here.

She smiled and sent back a couple car emojis with a tongue face and he sent back a sleeping face.

_Going to take a power nap. Hope you get home okay._

**Fordham Law:** Sleep tight doll

Something tightened in her chest as she read the last text from him. The tightness turned to warmth and she settled into bed, plugging her phone into the charger before putting it aside and falling asleep.

**Fordham Law: *heart***


	9. Chapter Nine

Quinn woke up the next morning and went to work, business as usual. Her case management with Melanie Jackson's family hit a dead end as the child was attending regular therapy sessions but there were no new leads to follow therefore no case to further. Her phone buzzed occasionally with texts from Barba, Amanda, and surprisingly even a few from Mike.

 **Rafi:** Is it bad I'm kind of hoping this guy hits again just so we have somewhere to go with this case?

_Kinda, yeah, but what are you gonna do? Let it go cold?_

**Rafi:** Resolution would be great. Have you spoken to Carisi lately?

_No… Just had a moment to check my phone. Why?_

**Rafi:** No reason. He's just pouting in my office all day. Have a good day, Quinn.

Quinn huffed and locked her phone, slipping it back into her pocket. Between the heart emoticon she woke up to and Barba's text messages and cryptic phone call last night she didn't know what to think about the detective anymore. She felt her phone buzz again and ignored it until she was done with her case notes for the day. After hitting save on the final note, she pulled her phone out to see "Missed Call: Amanda (6)". Gazing at the time, she realized it was time for her lunch break. Grabbing her tupperware from the nurse's lounge, Quinn sat back in her office and dialed Amanda's number.

"Quinn, Jesus, I'm sorry I forgot you were at work today." Amanda's voice poured through the phone. She sounded out of breath and raspy.

"You okay, Rollins?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah. Elevator's out at the precinct, had to run up the stairs. I'm thinking maybe I should go jogging again but Jesse makes that a little hard." After a brief silence, Rollins spoke again. "Listen, Quinn, was everything alright after Liv's wedding? Carisi was all messed up looking for you after he said you booked it from my room."

 _He didn't tell her?_  Quinn wondered. "It's all good… I was a little too drunk. Not in a great place. Made some bad decisions and had to nurse off a wicked hangover." She didn't want to tell Amanda what had really transpired that night. It wasn't worth the stress and impending judgment. Amanda was one of her closest friends and Quinn kicked herself for thinking she would have done something as stupid as ruin her relationship with Amaro.

"I heard from Liv that you and Mike  _made up_."

"Right. That. That's the bad decision, Amanda. But it's fine. We talked about it and it's all fine. Nothing to worry about. We're friends, I guess."

"Good. I'd hate to see Sonny get all worked up if you and Mike started seeing each other again."  _There she goes with this Sonny shit again!_  "You know, I tried to do you two a favor when I asked him to hang out in my room."

Quinn stopped picking at her lunch. "What do you mean, a 'favor'?"

"Well, I figured you two could have some quality time hanging out together. Zara and Jesse were sleeping in the other room. You could have kept him company after your little performance on the dance floor."

"With  _kids_  in the other room? I don't think so Amanda - I'm not that much of a creep!"

"Not what I meant at all, Quinn, but thanks," Amanda laughed. "I just figured you two were starting to get cozy so why not hang out off duty for once. But I guess Dodds somehow fell into this equation." Quinn could tell Amanda was trying to squeeze more details out of her but she kept her lips sealed. There were some things better left unsaid. Suddenly, Amanda's voice popped back in her ear. "There's been something different about Carisi since you two started being friendly instead of at each other's throats, you know. Just be careful. With yourself, and with him."

Quinn sighed into the phone. "Well, thanks for looking out for us I guess." She said goodbye to Amanda and hung up the phone, propping her legs up on her desk. Her lunch break was half over and she rushed to finish her food.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Barba had left his office, Carisi trailing behind him. He left the building and headed for a local coffee shop on the corner, where he sat down at a round table with Carisi across from him. He frowned and clicked through his phone briefly before placing it face down on the table and leaning forward on his elbows. Sonny watched Barba furrowing his brows until he finally spoke. "Why do I feel like you didn't just offer to buy me coffee because you like me, Barba?" The ADA got up and ordered the drinks before returning to their table.

"Carisi, remind me why you asked Quinn to come with you to the wedding." The question took Carisi by surprise.

"Uh… I told you, I needed someone to stand with me in the bridal party."

"Cut the crap, Carisi," Barba snapped. "That's not the impression you were giving off at Liv's wedding and I  _know_  you're trying to fool everyone into thinking you're not crazy about that girl and believe me, it's  _not_ working." Carisi paled as Barba got up to get the coffees sitting on the counter. The ADA's statement took him entirely by surprise and he struggled to cover up the red blush blooming all the way to his ears. Barba sat back down and crossed his legs, watching Carisi steadily.

"Look, Barba," Carisi started. "So what if I am?"

"Aha!" Barba said, taking a sip of his coffee. "So you admit it."

"What? No! Barba listen to me. Even if I was 'crazy about her' -" Carisi made air quotes with his fingers. "You don't think she's got enough to deal with? Mike? Her job? This case?"

Barba raised an eyebrow over the coffee cup he was holding. "It's adorable that you're so naive,  _Fordham_. Both of you are."

"What's that supposed to mean? And only Quinn calls me that.."

"Oh, really? I kind of like it. I think I'll start calling you that, too."

Carisi's mouth tightened into a thin line. That was  _her_  nickname for him. He knew Barba could sense his uneasiness and it was driving him nuts. Sonny clenched his cup in his hand and matched Barba's gaze. The ADA was smirking at him, practically begging for Carisi to react. Sonny drew a quick breath and replied, "Whatever makes you happy, Barba."

"All I'm saying is maybe you should grow a pair of  _cojones_  and do something about it, Carisi. I'm not saying this as your colleague, but as your friend." Carisi's heart skipped a beat when Barba called him his friend. Months of trying to impress and break through the ADA's harsh exterior seemed to finally have come to fruition. Picking up Sonny's obvious change in demeanor, Barba finished his coffee and tossed the cup behind him into the trash can. "Are you done? Let's head back to the office." Rafael made to get up but Sonny grabbed him by the wrist. Barba turned back to look at the detective in surprise.

"You think I got a chance with her? Like, really?" Sonny's voice was hopeful and Barba couldn't help but smile at the detective.

"If I'm being honest, Carisi, I really think you do." Barba rubbed his chin. "Had you followed her after that last dance you probably could have sped up the process." Sonny chewed on his bottom lip as he replayed the night of Olivia's wedding back in his head. He danced with Quinn. She said she was getting a drink. Or going to sit at the bar? He went to go get his jacket when Amanda had asked him to watch the kids, so he did… But he had never told Quinn where he was going. Mentally kicking himself, Sonny sighed.

"You're probably right, Barba. I'll, uh, grow those  _cojones_  you talked about and figure it all out." He got up and motioned towards the door. The ADA stood up and followed him out, heading back to his office. "Thanks, Barba. You're a pal."

"Don't ever call me that again, Fordham."

* * *

 

Quinn was broken out of her haze by a knock on her door. She took her feet off her desk, smoothed down her shirt, and pulled the door handle. "Oh. Brett? Did you need something?" she asked. The resident leaned against the doorframe before answering.

"Just wanted to ask if you wanted coffee or something, Quinn. I'm going on a run." Before Quinn could answer he started talking again. "Or dinner later, or something. I have a voucher for two for that place Riverpark around the corner. Don't really have anyone else to take with me. Figured I'd ask." She sighed and looked down at her phone where  _Fordham_  flashed across her screen. Brett followed her gaze and raised an eyebrow as she ignored the text message and looked back at him.

"Okay."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have - okay?" He stopped himself midsentence. "Okay? You'll go?"

"I'll go. Don't be weird about it. If you've got free dinner at some swanky place I'll entertain you." She crossed her arms.

"It's a date," he grinned and Quinn shook her head.

"No, it's not." She didn't think the doctor heard her as he left her office and she picked up her phone to see what Sonny wanted.

 **Fordham Law:**  You wanna do something tomorrow after work?

_Sure… Probably going to have a crazy story for you._

**Fordham Law:**  Oh no… What happened?

_Going out to dinner with someone from work… Dude hasn't left me alone in weeks._

**Fordham Law: Oh…**

_Maybe this will get him off my back for a while._ She felt the tone shift in Sonny's text and tried to rectify it quickly.  _Don't worry, he's not my type ;)._

 **Fordham Law:** Good cuz I don't think I can change my career again this late in the game…

Quinn grinned and sent back a laughing emoji before locking her phone and finishing her work. Brett swung by her office at the end of the day and she reluctantly got her belongings and followed him out. She ignored the silence from the nurse's station as they watched her leave with Brett, making a mental note to make sure any and all rumors were silenced by the end of business day tomorrow. She kept quiet throughout most of dinner, answering his questions with superficial answers and trying to seem as disinterested as she possibly could. Quinn could tell Brett was getting frustrated and she figured it was a job well done. Maybe he would leave her alone from now on after finding out just what a boring date she could be.

And then he offered to walk her home.

He kept saying how it was too late for her to go home alone and that he would make sure she was safe, following her when she tried to bid him a good night and turn to leave. Thinking on her feet, Quinn quickly agreed to let him walk with her. She headed with him in the direction of her house, but turned into a different street and walked up a random stoop. "Thanks for taking me home, Brett. It was a better idea than walking home alone, you're right."

"Go on then. I'll walk you up." She shook her head, clenching her keys in her hand. She couldn't even fake trying to get in without him realizing something was up.

"I don't let people upstairs the first time I hang out with them. Sorry. It's a personal thing."

"Oh okay. I'm just looking out for you Quinn." He got too close for her to feel comfortable, backing her up against the front door of the building she had chosen for her ruse. "You know… you seemed a lot more animated with the sergeant. I can't imagine you were as dry with him as you were today. He must have fuckd you up real bad, huh Quinn?" She flinched as his breath collided with her skin, pressing against the glass door trying to find a way to squeeze past him.

"Probably. Good night, Brett. See you at work tomorrow." She tried to reach into her pocket for her phone, keys, anything to get him away from her. Brett grabbed her by the wrist, pinning it against the door.

"And I don't even get a thank you for the dinner?"

"Thank you, Brett. It was great. Please let go of me." She barely got the words out when he roughly slammed his lips on hers, hitting the back of her head against the glass. She struggled against him, eyes widening, as he violently pawed at her with his free hand. Quinn's breathing sped up as she tried to push him away from her but he only held on tighter. "Brett. BRETT! Stop!" The hand holding her wrist moved to her throat and slid up to her mouth.

"Say another word and you'll regret it," he hissed in her ear, his other hand trailing down to her pants. Heart threatening to jump out of her chest, she bit down sharply on his hand and when he pulled back in shock she kicked him square in the chest, sending him tumbling down the stoop. A light turned on across the street and Quinn prayed that someone would come outside. Unfortunately, not sustaining any serious injuries, Brett made a strangled noise in his throat before picking himself up and stalking off.

Quinn gasped erratically, trying to catch her breath as she adjusted her clothes and looked for her phone. Her hands shook so badly that she could barely get the passcode punched into unlock it.  _Fuck_  she thought, watching Brett disappear around the corner. She gathered all her strength and left the stoop, heading in the opposite direction and walking downtown as fast as her legs could carry her. She walked through more heavily populated streets, avoiding darker corners and eye contact with anybody who would notice the disheveled girl with tears rolling down her face.

Finally, she made it to the one familiar place she knew she was safe.

Walking up the steps to the precinct, she got in the elevator and pressed the button for SVU. A cop nearby asked if she needed any help. She shook her head. "I'm so sorry, but not from you… I need Olivia Benson…"

"I can call her if you like. What's your name?"

"Please don't. It's the middle of the night. I can just wait until morning…"

"I gotta let the lieutenant know… We can't just leave you here all night."

"Fine. Fine. Call her. Let her know Quinn Silver is a  _fucking mess_  yet  _again_!" Quinn snapped, collapsing in the nearest chair and sobbing as the officer on duty reached for the phone on the desk.

"Yeah. Sorry Lieu… Someone's here. Something Silver. Said she needs help." The officer didn't even get a chance to finish when Quinn heard "On my way" and knew Olivia would be here in a heartbeat. "Sorry miss… I really wish I could but…"

"You're doing your job. I get it. It's fine. Thank you." She buried her head in her arms and waited for the lieutenant to arrive.  _How could I have been so stupid. I should have seen some kind of warning signs. What kind of social worker am I if I get into situations like these? By a co-worker no less. I'm so stupid._

"Quinn?"

Olivia's voice broke Quinn from her self-deprecation and she looked up, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand.

"Yeah… Hi, Liv…"

Olivia rushed over to the chair and helped Quinn get up, wrapping her arms around the young social worker and leading her back into her office. "It's gonna be alright, Quinn. Just walk me through what happened."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR ALL OF THIS GUYS


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't you all lucky... Two chapters in a day! And this one is longer too....

Carisi's voice boomed through the precinct as he stormed into the building. "Where is she?  _Where is she_?" he shouted at everybody he passed, tossing his bag onto his desk and rushing toward Olivia's office where he was met with a flustered Rollins holding her hands up. "Rollins, I swear ta God let me go in there. I'm going to kill whoever did this to her. Let me  _through_!" He tried to shoulder past Amanda but Fin got in the way.

"Carisi, calm down. You're making a fool out of yourself. Liv isn't letting anybody in there right now besides herself and Ken. Just sit down and collect yourself. It won't do her any good if you're freaking out too." Fin's gentle but stoic demeanor stopped Carisi in his tracks and he took a moment to breathe before turning to sit at his desk. Before he got there he turned back around.

"Rollins? Where's Dodds?"

"Not here yet."

"Liv didn't tell him what was going on?"

"Nobody knew until we got here."

"Quinn texted me…" he said, leaning back against the chair and fishing his phone out of his pocket. "Right here, she said she was at the station and that something happened on her way home and that someone called Liv… but I was knocked out in bed… Olivia texted me too. God, if I had been up a little longer maybe I could have come down faster…" He dragged his hand down his face, dropping his phone on his desk and pacing around the station. Rollins shrugged and sat down at her desk, fiddling with folder and files.

"Wonder what happened. Did she say where she was going last night?"

"Some doctor from the ER asked her out to dinner. I didn't hear from her until that text she sent me… What if he did something to her? I'm going to  _murder_  him." Carisi looked at the door and Fin stood up, ready to intercept the reacting detective. Instead, Sonny sat down at his desk, phoning Barba. The ADA emerged from a corridor, waving his phone in Sonny's direction.

"I'm already here. Olivia called me when she didn't hear back from you. I was on the phone with her supervisor."

"What did you say? Did Olivia tell you what happened?"

"No, just to make up some story that we needed Quinn for the rest of the week to work on the case. There is no shortage of social workers in that hospital; they can let her go for a bit to recuperate while we figure this out."

Suddenly the door to Olivia's office swung open and Ken emerged, causing the other detectives to get up again and crowd around him. "Olivia is finishing up with her statement. Quinn doesn't want to retell the story again but said you can read it. She's not sure if she wants to press any charges or file a restraining order, but agreed to do a buccal swab to get his DNA just in case. She's considering filing a complaint with HR at the hospital to at the very least get him removed from the emergency room. The DNA test will be some kind of evidence - she said she broke the skin." Ken took a breath before continuing. "She's a little shaken up by the whole ordeal, to say the least."

Carisi made a move for the door and Ken moved aside to let him in. He made eye contact with Olivia, who let Quinn know he had walked in. She looked up, eyes rimmed with red, at him as he strode over, stopping awkwardly at the back window.

"Quinn…" he started.

"It all just happened so fast… you know?" Her voice was hollow and raspy as she stretched her arms out on the table. The beginnings of a bruise were forming around her wrist. "I've seen this process a million times, but I never thought I'd be the one on the patient's side." Carisi squatted down beside her, bringing himself to her eye level as she stared blankly ahead of her. Olivia got up to leave when she saw Mike standing in the station talking to Rollins and Fin.

Ken had explained the bare outline of the situation and something snapped in Mike's brain. He rushed into Olivia's office, reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder. "Quinn? Are you -"

"Don't  _TOUCH ME_!" she shrieked, recoiling as his hand made contact with her shirt. Mike drew his hand back as she rocked back in the chair, wrapping her arms around her knees and drawing them to her chest. "Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me. Just leave me alone."

"Quinn? I just wanted to make sure -"

"Make sure  _what_ , Mike? Make sure I was  _okay_? I'd be okay, this wouldn't have happened if you would have just picked me up from work like you used to. But we're 'not together' anymore, right Mike?" She made dramatic air quotes as she snapped at him. "So take your concern and shove it up your -"

"Quinn, Mike, that's enough," Olivia butted in. "There's a lot to process right now. Mike, maybe it would be easier if you just left the room for now." Mike nodded and turned to leave, giving Quinn one last reproachful look. "Carisi," Olivia started.

"I got it, Lieu. I'll leave too."

"Actually, Carisi, I was going to ask if you could stay here with Quinn for a little while until she feels well enough to head home and rest." Carisi perked up and he got up from his squatting position. He walked back around Quinn and held his hand out.

"If you're ready, we can go somewhere out of the way."

"I can walk on my own, you know," she mumbled. He withdrew his hand and smiled.

"I know, CPEP. I know. Just let me know when you're ready to go." She looked back up at him, his endearing smile flashing back at her. Slowly, Quinn got up and crossed her arms and headed towards the door. Before the she left the office, she looked back at Sonny and slowly held her hand out. He grinned and grabbed it, walking with her pressed tightly against his side to one of the unused meeting rooms. She sat down with a thud in one of the chairs and Sonny pulled another one to sit across from her.

"I feel bad for snapping at Mike…"

"I think it was an unconscious reaction to what you've been through. Mike gets that. He works here, after all. Don't worry about him though, CPEP. How are  _you_  doing?" Carisi asked, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees. He observed her as she stared back at him, chewed on her cuticles, and tried to steady her breathing.

"Would you call me a liar if I said I was fine?"

"Probably," he said, the corner of his mouth turning up into a half-smile. "But I'd also say it's okay if you were. You know yourself better than anyone."

Quinn was startled by his validations. "Somebody went to sensitivity training." She barked out a laugh and covered her mouth, trying to stifle the rest of the laughter. "Laughing feels wrong, but I want to laugh." Carisi chuckled and reached out to grab her by the hand, hovering over it until she stretched out her fingers to let him.

"I may have taken a refresher course recently." They sat quietly for a while until Sonny spoke again. "I'm sorry I wasn't awake when you texted me. I should have been awake so I could come to you when you needed me." Quinn held up her free hand.

"There was no reason for me to expect you to be awake at that hour. I just wanted to let you know so you weren't surprised when you showed up."

Carisi kept holding her hand while they sat in the room, occasionally running his thumb over her knuckles as she sniffed back tears. "Not really how I envisioned 'doing something' with you today, but I'll take it," he said, causing her to giggle again.

"You know, we can still go  _do something_  later once you're allowed to clock out, right? I can stop wallowing for an evening if you wanted to have some fun." Carisi felt something jump in his chest - maybe his heart, or one of his lungs - and tried not to let his face betray just how excited he was to hear her say that. "But only if you promise to take me home afterwards… I don't think I'm ready to go on my own yet."

"You'll have your very own NYPD escort every day until the end of time if that's what you need, CPEP."

The two of them sat in the room, Carisi occasionally popping out to do some paperwork or assist on a case, while Quinn got up every so often to stretch her legs and wander around the station. At around 4:30pm, Olivia poked her head out of her office and let Carisi know he was free to leave early if he was so inclined. Jumping up at the chance, he packed his bag and left the precinct with Quinn at his side. Amanda rolled back in her chair Dodds' desk, where he was talking with Olivia about Quinn's case.

"Is it out of line to say I hope they finally address the elephant in the room tonight." She looked directly at Mike when she asked her question.

"Look, leave me out of this. All I want is for her to be okay. We made up after the wedding and I know she was just reacting from trauma. I fucked up by rushing her like that. Whatever's going on with her and Carisi is their business." Mike shrugged off Amanda's stare and looked back at his notes.

"You got it Sarge. But you've gotta admit - they're pretty cute together."

"I guess. I just hope he knows what he's getting into."

Amanda narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe I'm just not cut out for someone like her. Maybe he'll do a better job. But the smallest emotion is amplified, like, to the max with her. When she's angry she's explosive, when she's sad it's impossible to get her out of bed in the morning. Not all the time, but a solid majority. It's like PMS to the millionth power." He put the papers down on his desk. "And I know she's got a disorder or whatever. It wasn't working out for me and maybe I'm the asshole for not working through my issues, but I just hope she's happy with whatever she chooses to do."

Olivia clapped him on the shoulder. "That's big of you, Dodds. Maybe we can return to some workplace homeostasis now that you two seem to have resolved your troubles."

Quinn led Carisi towards her house, stopping off at a bar not too far away. Settling for a seat at the bar, Quinn waved down the bartender and ordered a beer. Sonny asked for a  _Whatever She's Having_  and turned on the barstool to look at Quinn. She was drumming her fingers on the countertop, watching the bartender fill the two pint glasses with frothy brown liquid from the tap. She took her glass and lifted it towards Sonny.

"Cheers, Fordham."

"Cheers."

They clinked the glasses and took a swig - Quinn's much longer than Sonny's. He raised an eyebrow as she put down a half full glass, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. "Take it easy there, CPEP. There's no rush." She looked him in the eye, downing the rest of her beer before putting the glass back on the coaster and sliding it towards the bartender. Leaning towards Sonny, she hissed in his ear: "I don't want to feel anything anymore."

He swallowed hard as she sat back up straight, the cloudy look from her face suddenly disappearing as the bartender refilled her glass. As she took a smaller sip from this glass, she studied Carisi's face over the rim. He was staring off into space as she watched him, fiddling with his watch and rubbing his chin. Quinn put her glass down, kicking her foot against the barstool. "I shouldn't have gone out with him at all," she suddenly said.

"CPEP, you can't blame yourself for this. You know a lot better than to victim blame, even if it's yourself."

"Doesn't mean there's not something digging at the back of my mind asking what I could have done differently." She clenched the glass so tightly her knuckles were turning white. She took a deep sip and continued. "I could have said no. I could have called a cab to take me home without him. I could have called somebody in general to pick me up. Anything that could have stopped him from cornering me."

"If he didn't get you tonight, what was going to stop him from trying to lure you out again next time?"

"I wouldn't have gone next time."

"Okay, that's fair, but it's not your fault the guy's a sleazeball."

They went back and forth between validating her feelings and rational discussion until Carisi looked down and realized they had six empty pints and four shot glasses sitting on the bar between them. He struggled to keep Quinn in focus as he blinked a few times to clear the fog. She had asked for some water and Carisi inhaled it as if he hadn't drank for days.

"So, you promised you'd take me home," she said, sliding off the barstool and taking her credit card back from the bartender. Carisi nodded, tucking her back against his side as they left the bar. Whether it was to hold her up, or himself, Carisi didn't know, but he stopped on the corner to check his watch. The hands read 10:30 and he was amazed they had managed to sit there for upwards of four hours arguing about the mindset of some douchebag.

"You hungry, CPEP? I'm starving." He caught sight of a late-night pizza stop, and without waiting for he response, he pulled her across the street with him. "You got the drinks, let me at least buy you some food."

"I'm not hungry, Fordham."

"You will be. You'll feel better in the morning if you eat."

She sighed and let him buy her exactly one slice of pizza while he left with three slices in a box. Quinn managed to coax him into relinquishing one of those slices as they were almost on her block, which she devoured in the time it took for them to get to her door. Carisi tossed the box out in the trans can outside her door and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"You gonna be okay getting upstairs, CPEP?"

Quinn, surprised, left her keys stuck in the keyhole as she turned to look at him. "Could you… Could you maybe walk me up?" Sonny felt his heart start hammering in his chest as he nodded, stepping closer to her. She turned the key and pushed the door open, heading for the second lobby door and finally up the stairs to her apartment, making sure Sonny was following close behind. As they reached her apartment door, she struggled to put the key in the lock. When she finally aimed right, the lock turned with a scratch that echoed in the staircase. Stuffing her keys in her purse, she turned to look at Sonny, leaning back against the doorframe.

"So this is your place, huh?" he asked quietly, rocking back on his heels as she looked up at him.

"Yep."

"You gonna be alright?"

"Yep."

"Guess I'll be off then. You've got my number if you need anything. Goodnight, CPEP."

He gave her a quick hug, lingering slightly before he pulled away and turned to go down the stairs. Quinn watched him as he descended.  _Oh my god, what am I doing…_

"Fordham!" she called after him. He turned around, looking up at her from the lower landing.

"Yeah, CPEP?"

"Could you… stay over tonight?"

Carisi didn't need another moment to think or be asked again. He leaped up the stairs two at a time until he reached Quinn's door, following her inside and turning the lock on the door. He slid the chain on for good measure, earning a soft smile from her as she turned to see what he was doing. "I'm sorry, Fordham. I'm just feeling so paranoid that I don't want to be home alone tonight." Quinn turned on a table lamp as they walked into the living room.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, CPEP. I got it. I'll crash on the couch and protect you from anything that goes bump in the night, or my name ain't Detective Dominick Carisi Jr."

"I thought your name was Sonny?"

"What? No. That's just a nickname! You didn't think that was my - ah… That was another joke, wasn't it, CPEP? I got it. Very funny." She smirked and went into her room to change into her pajamas.

"I don't particularly have anything for you to change into, sorry," she said as he pulled off his tie and started unbuttoning his work shirt.

"'S alright. I've got a shirt on under. I'll figure it out."

"Let me get you a blanket or something."

Carisi unclipped his gun from his belt and placed it on the coffee table by the couch. His tie ended up on a nearby armchair and Quinn came back with a blanket and a coat hanger for the rest of his clothes. Carisi started unbuckling his belt and Quinn flushed red, turning away and hanging the hanger on the back of the bathroom door. "I'm just taking my belt off. I can keep the pants on if you're more comfortable that way." She squeaked and shook her head, turning around to give Carisi a hug.

"Sorry. I don't know why I'm like this. It'll be better to sleep with them off. I'm going to go to bed. Thank you for this Fordham. I really appreciated it." She was speaking quickly, stumbling over her words and trying to get out of there as fast as possible. She was sure he could probably hear her heart pounding out  _SOS_  in Morse Code. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her arms, holding her out in front of him.

"It's alright, CPEP. Go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

She turned quickly and disappeared into her bedroom, leaving the door slightly cracked before collapsing in her bed. Sonny took his pants off and hung them over the armchair, turning the table lamp off before settling into the couch and covering himself with the blanket she gave him.

He wasn't sure when he fell asleep or how long it had been, but Carisi woke with a start when he heard a crash. Grabbing his gun off the table, he leapt out of bed, pointing the weapon in the general direction of the noise.

"Jesus Christ, don't shoot, I'm sorry!" He heard Quinn's voice and struggled to adjust to the light coming from the fridge. A jar of pickles lay on the tile floor, broken and oozing. He rubbed his eyes, placing the gun back down on the table before walking over to help Quinn clean up the mess. "I'm so sorry, Fordham. I just woke up and wanted a pickle. I didn't mean to wake you up, I'm such an asshole," she lamented as she picked up the pickle spears and he mopped up the brine with a paper towel.

"It's okay, CPEP. I just got startled. Thought someone broke in."

"Yeah, you were ready to kill someone…"

"I'm sorry if I scared you."

"You did, but it's fine. Makes me feel safe that Detective Fordham Law is protecting me." He smiled weakly at her and tossed the wet paper towels in the trash before vigorously scrubbing his hands in the sink. "Hey, can we sit for a while or do you wanna go to bed? I know you probably have work tomorrow."

Carisi paused. He had texted Olivia some time before asking if he could use one of his built up vacation days and she responded immediately with a positive answer. "I'll sit with you as long as you want, CPEP." They sat down on the couch and Quinn turned on the tv, using a separate remote to click through to Netflix. Turning on whatever show she was watching last, Quinn snuggled up under Carisi's arm, pressing her body against his. His hand found her shoulder and he dragged his fingers up and down slowly as she leaned her head against his chest.

As she kept adjusting her position to maximize contact with him, he dropped his arm around her waist and held her tightly, turning himself so she could curl into the curve of his body. "You comfy?" She nodded into his shirt, eyes trained on the TV. His hand was right at the hem of her shirt, right where there was a tiny sliver of exposed skin between shirt and shorts, and his occasional finger twitch against her skin sent shivers up her spine.

"Thanks for doing all of this for me," she choked out, trying to hold back the moan daring to escape as he kept running his fingers over the small of her back.

"Not a problem."

She moved her hand to his stomach, feeling the tight muscle beneath his tee shirt. She rationalized it as not being able to think clearly, though the effects of the alcohol had worn off while she slept, and ran her hand from his abdomen to his chest and back, catching on the hem of his shirt where a small patch of hair was poking out above the waistband of his boxers. She felt him stiffen and try to sit up while he gently placed his hand over hers, bringing an end to her attempt to torment him just as he was her.

"Hey…" He started to speak but was cut off by Quinn reaching up to kiss him. She prayed to whatever god would listen to her that he wouldn't throw her off as she pushed herself up higher to wrap her arms around his neck. At first he was so shocked he couldn't move, but after a moment he leaned into her, gripping her tightly as he pulled her  _even closer_  than they were before. A quiet groan escaped his lips and Quinn's stomach did a somersault as she ran her fingers through his hair.

But as soon as it started, it was done. Carisi pulled away and shook his head, hugging her to his chest. "I'm so sorry," he gasped, trying to steady his breathing. "I can't do this."

"What… what do you mean?" She was taken aback, trapped against his chest. "You don't want this?"

"Oh, no, CPEP, no. I do. I want this so badly but I can't. Not like this." She pried herself from his grip and looked up at him. "Let's get some sleep, okay?"

Defeated, Quinn got up off the couch and adjusted her pajamas, turned off the TV and headed back to her room. As she stood at the door, she turned back to him. "Can you at least be in here with me then? So you don't accidentally try to shoot me again?" Carisi jumped off the couch, following her into the bedroom. She didn't know what she was expecting after this, but she crawled into bed and got under the covers, holding them out for Carisi to get in. She rolled onto her side away from him, surprised when she felt Carisi's arm snake around her waist and his chest against her back.

"Fordham?" she asked in the darkness.

"Hmm."

"What did you mean 'not like this'?"

He sighed deeply, pushing his chest into her. "You said the first time you brought Dodds up here, you were both plastered and ended up sleeping together." She held her breath as he brought up the sergeant.  _Time and place… time and place_  she thought. "I don't want us to end up like you and him. I wanna do this right." He mumbled sleepily in her ear and she let out the breath she was holding, settling herself against him. He had a point. Slightly misguided in her humble opinion, but still a point. He pressed his lips behind her ear and pulled back, dropping his head back down on the pillow.

"Goodnight Fordham."

"Night CPEP."


	11. Chapter Eleven

Quinn opened her eyes, disoriented in the darkness as she realized that Sonny was still pressed up against her back. She lay there motionless, feeling him breathing against the back of her neck, lips grazing her skin as his arm held her tighter. Suddenly realizing the detective was still awake, Quinn tried to keep her body as limp as possible so he wouldn't realize. He was placing soft kisses at the base of her head, running his nose along her ear. Sonny's hand slid up to her hip, gripping it firmly over her shorts. She felt goosebumps start to pop up on her arms as his hand drifted upwards and dragged the bottom of her shirt along with it.

_Two can play at this game_ , she thought, letting out a sleepy groan and backing her ass right against his crotch. He squeezed her hip in response, realizing that he was painfully hard and scooted backwards. Unfortunately for him, Quinn made another noise and adjusted herself right back up against him. He wasn't the only one who had noticed the untimely erection and Quinn was delighted that she wasn't the only one aroused and unsatisfied tonight. Sonny sighed into her hair and gently shook her.

"You awake?" he mumbled, jostling her gently until she finally gave up on pretending to be asleep.

"No," she groaned, rolling over to face him and subsequently flinging her leg over his. There was no questioning that he could feel the heat radiating from between her thighs after the torture he had put her through for the last few minutes. "How am I supposed to sleep when you're doing all of  _that_  to me?" She started to make out the details of his face in the dim light coming in through the window.

"Doing what?"

"Don't play dumb, Fordham," she snapped, ducking under his chin to demonstrate just what he had been doing to her previously. Sonny let out a low hiss as she skimmed her lips over his jugular, letting her tongue drift out occasionally to prod at a pulse point. "That stuff." She dragged her nose up his jawline and kissed the soft spot between his mandible and ear, drawing out a whine from the detective. "And that stuff." Her hand moved from his chest to the waistband of his boxers, sliding up underneath his shirt as she raked her nails along his side. "And that stuff," she concluded. Sonny's breathing was growing shallow and she smirked to herself. "What happened to 'I can't do this, not like this'" she asked, mockingly.

Quinn felt his hand shift abruptly and grab her by the wrist, yanking it back down to his crotch. She was shocked at the sudden motion and practically choked on her own saliva when she felt just how stiff and throbbing he was beneath the thin layer of fabric. She could feel heat rising to her face and quickly flooding downwards as she gently shifted her hand. Sonny let out a deep moan and buried his head in the crook of Quinn's neck, digging his nails into her back. "What happened, Sonny?" she asked again.

He sighed into her neck, pulling away and leaning his forehead against hers. "This is so awkward," he whispered, running his nose along hers. "I want to. I think that's painfully obvious." She gave his dick another soft stroke and he shuddered, gasping slightly. Catching her hand with his, Sonny continued. "But I wanna do right by you, CPEP." She felt a strange tightness in her chest as he looked into her eyes, illuminated by the faint sunlight creeping over the buildings. "I'm not stupid, I know what they've all said about me."

"What do you mean," she whispered.

"I'm pushy, a pain in the neck, I move faster than I think. I try too hard and I've got a big mouth. But you're the first person who I've never been afraid to be myself around, CPEP. I've never had to try to be someone else for you, and just the fact that I'm laying here with you proves that you're something so special to me." She hoped he didn't see the lone tear trailing down her cheek as he poured his heart out to her. Quinn pulled out of his grasp and reached up, cradling his face in her hands as she brought her lips in to meet his. He leaned into the kiss but gently pulled back.

"So," he sighed. "I wanna do this right." He kissed her again, softly. "I need to ask you out on a real date." Another kiss. "Get to know you." Again. "Hold your hand in public." And again. "Buy you flowers."  _Again_. "And lots of other things in between before I can fuck you into the mattress." He could feel her smiling as he kissed her again. She shook her head at him,  _God, this guy._

"Okay, Fordham. Okay."

The two of them decided they would go back to sleep, though they knew there probably wouldn't be much of that going on after what had just transpired. His hand was tangled in her hair, acting as a pillow as she hiked her leg up higher around his hip and curled into him. Sonny's free hand was stroking her face as he kept placing small kisses on her forehead. Quinn could feel a dull ache in her lower body, one that showed no sign of going away any time soon.  _He's going to kill me… and wouldn't that just be grand. Wouldn't he just love that._  His hand moved down the curve of her body to the thigh she had wrapped around him, squeezing gently. Quinn thought she was going to die on the spot. His hands were everywhere except where she wanted them and she used all the strength in her leg to roll him onto his back, straddling him and pinning him to the bed. Her breath was ragged as she pressed her hands against his pecs. He looked so pleased with himself, practically beaming at her as she looked down at him.

"You  _need_  to stop," she begged. "If you insist on doing everything  _right_ , you need to stop. This isn't fair. You can't torment me all night." She could feel his erection poking her between the legs and struggled to keep down a groan from escaping.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled. "I really am. You're just making it so… hard…" She snorted at his awful joke and he slid his hands up her thighs, pushing her down as he pressed his hips into her. Quinn let out a soft cry and leaned forward, kissing him long and hard as his fingers pressed into her thighs.

"Can I say something?" Carisi made a humming noise and she continued. "I'm sorry I was always such an asshole to you before." Sonny stopped squeezing her and shifted himself so he could sit up, holding her in his lap.

"What are you talking about?"

"When I was still dating Mike. You and I didn't always get along and I'm sorry for being so rude. And you still were the first one to come check on me and make sure everything was alright after everything. I really don't deserve this, or you, or anything for that matter."

Sonny wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her to his chest. "Don't talk like that, CPEP. We're here now, aren't we? Everything's gonna be alright." He rocked her back and forth. "Besides, even when you were being a bitch, I still thought you were hot." Quinn laughed into his chest, pushing him back down onto the bed. Latching on to his neck, she left a trail of kisses in the space uncovered by his tee shirt. Quinn pulled his shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside and kissing a path down his chest, stomach, and stopping right above his waistband. She could feel his legs quivering as she rubbed her nose against the patch of hair sticking out. Sonny's hand shot out and grabbed her by the head, knotting his fingers in her hair. "Oh my God, what are you doing…"

"I did say it wasn't fair that you tortured me all night, Detective…" she purred, carefully sticking out her tongue and dragging it up the length of his clothed dick. He bucked his hips into her face, tightening his grip on her hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he choked out and she laughed, sliding down to nibble on his thighs. The skin tightened beneath her mouth and she heard a string of obscenities muffled by Sonny biting down on his fist.

"Should I stop?" she asked, detaching herself from him.

"No… I don't know," he groaned. As she moved to start another relentless assault on his skin, they heard a noise coming from the living room. Sonny whined as he let go of Quinn's hair, pushing himself up into a sitting position. She sat up as well, cocking her head.

"Everything alright?"

"That's… that's my phone." She cautiously slid off of him.

"It's almost five in the morning, who could possibly be calling you this early?"

They both looked at each other and quickly said in unison, "Barba". Sonny forced himself to get up and fish his phone out of his jacket pocket.

"Do you know what time it is, Barba?" Sonny said into the phone. Quinn laughed quietly as she leaned back on her arms, waiting for Sonny to come back. He re-entered the bedroom, still holding the phone up to his ear. Sonny sat down on the bed, a mistake really, because Quinn weaseled her way back into his lap, straddling him and grinding her hips into his. Sonny held back a moan as Barba was talking. Quinn overheard something about DNA results and a request for Sonny to come down to Barba's office tomorrow.

"I'm off the clock to-mmmf-orrow," he grunted as Quinn deviously licked his collarbone. He gave her side a warning squeeze, which only made her suck harder. "Liv told me to take the day off after everything yesterday." It wasn't entirely a lie - Olivia had been more than happy to give him a break after he had saved up all his vacation and sick days during the year.

" _So you can't come in? Brooklyn is not that far away from here, Carisi."_ Quinn bit down on his neck and Carisi whined a little too loudly.  _"What was that?"_

"Nothing. It's nothing…" Carisi said, trying not to breathe too heavily into the phone or make another noise that Barba should not have been privy to.

" _How's Quinn doing after yesterday. I wrote to her last night but I hadn't heard back. Olivia said she was with you."_ Sonny was ready to throw his phone across the room and toss Quinn back onto the bed, but she held onto him tightly, gyrating in his lap. Her hands wandered up his back, gripping his shoulderblades as she bounced lightly.

"Oh god…" Sonny caught himself. "She's fine. Went out for a couple drinks. Walked her home. Put her to bed… Jesus…" He was struggling to catch his breath and it was becoming more and more apparent. Quinn slid off his lap and got down on her knees, repeating the licking motion she had done earlier. Sonny squeezed his phone so hard he almost broke it, letting out a loud " _Fuck_ ".

Quinn heard an exasperated sigh come through the receiver.  _"Let me guess. You're still there."_  She pulled away from Sonny, falling backwards and crossing her legs looking proud of herself. Carisi shook his head, cheeks flooding with color as he tried to figure out what to say to Barba. "Kinda, yeah."

_That's a pretty big 'kinda'_  Quinn thought to herself, leaning against the wall of her bedroom. She got up and went to sit next to Sonny. His demeanor had changed from completely embarrassed to grinning from ear to ear as she caught the tail end of Barba's sentence:  _"Booyah, Fordham Law!"_ Sonny hung up the phone and put it on the bedside table, turning back to grab Quinn and pulled her down next to him.

"What did he say," Quinn asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at the visibly flustered detective.

"Just that he'll see me tomorrow and that he never wants me to answer the phone when I'm with you ever again…" Sonny said with a laugh. He hugged her to his chest again, kissing her nose, her cheek, her forehead, and finally kissing her hot and long on the mouth.

"Okay, good night Fordham," Quinn said, turning around to push her back against him as she figured out the blanket situation.

"Huh?" Carisi sputtered, looking down at his strained boxers threatening to rip at the seams.

"You can be the big spoon again."

"You're joking."

"I never joke, Fordham."

Carisi groaned in pain and curled himself around her as she pulled his arm over to use as a pillow. Quinn clenched her thighs to try and calm the erratic pulsing between them and wiggled her butt against his crotch. He pressed his dick against her leg one more time before nuzzling into her hair and praying for sleep to come quickly.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Quinn's usual alarm began beeping an hour and a half after they had fallen asleep. She groaned, smacking the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table until it stopped making noise. A shudder passed through her body as she suddenly became aware that the warm body pressed up against her all night was no longer there. She picked herself up off the bed, brushing her hair out of her face before she left to see where Sonny was. The bathroom door was open and she smelled coffee drifting from her kitchen, but no sight of the detective anywhere.

 _He left!?_  The thought raced across her mind as her heartbeat quickened, noticing the chain Sonny had carefully latched was now hanging on the doorframe.  _He left!_  Quinn was suddenly left feeling like she had egg on her face - ashamed, embarrassed. She had practically thrown herself at him and he was gone in the morning like a one night stand?

As she turned to disappear into the bathroom and drown her sorrows in the shower, she heard the jangle of keys and the scrape of the lock as it turned. Quinn whipped her head around to look at the door, debating if she had enough time to grab her pepper spray from her bedroom. The door creaked open slowly and Quinn held her breath until she heard the person on the other end pull the key from the lock and shoulder the door open.

Sonny walked in through the door holding a box in one hand and her keys in the other, kicking the door closed behind him. He made eye contact with a bewildered Quinn and raised an eyebrow, puzzled. Quinn ran across the apartment, throwing her arms around his neck, causing him to back into the door. Sonny moved the box out of the way and used his free arm to hold on to her as she buried her head in his chest. "You alright, Quinn?" he asked, rubbing her back gently. She nodded, still face-first in his shirt. "Here, come on, let's go sit down." He gave her a nudge but she wasn't letting go. Conceding, Sonny walked with her attached to him over to the couch, plopping the both of them down and setting the box on the coffee table. "Now can you tell me what's going on?"

"I thought you  _left_ ," Quinn said, balling her fists in his tee shirt and giving him a shake. "I woke up and you were  _gone_!" Sonny laughed and Quinn frowned at him, shaking him again. "It's not funny! I thought I did something wrong!"

"Quinn," Sonny started "You didn't notice that my jacket, work shirt, tie,  _and_  my bag were still here?" He pointed to the items he named scattered around the living room. She followed his motions and saw that, in fact, his jacket, work shirt tie  _and_  bag were still lying where he left them the night before.

"I'm sorry I'm like this…" she mumbled and Sonny laughed again, holding her by the back of her head and pressing his forehead against hers.

"Like what, Quinn? I would have thought the exact same thing if we were at my place and you left before I woke up." He turned to grab the box from the table. "Relax. I remembered seeing a bakery while we were walking back here last night. Figured I'd get you a little something." Quinn opened the box slowly and saw the curled pastries full of ricotta cream. "Coffee's already waiting for you."

Quinn grabbed a plate and the two coffee cups from the kitchen, bringing them over to the couch. Sonny was already digging into one of the cannoli with such voracity Quinn wondered if they should have had more to eat last night. She climbed over the back of the couch, settling in against Sonny and turning on the television for some background noise. Picking up a cannoli, she looked up at Sonny and saw a chunk of cream at the corner of his mouth. Setting down her cup, she leaned over his shoulder, sticking her tongue out and licking it away.

Sonny was completely unprepared for her sudden action as he felt all his blood rush south. "Ya had a little schmutz," she said with a smirk, mimicking his comments from the day he came in to work on the Jackson case. Before she could pop her cannoli into her mouth, Sonny nudged her arm and Quinn ended up smearing cream on her chin.

"Oh no, I'm  _so_  sorry, Quinn," Carisi said, faking concern as he dove in and licked the cream off of her chin. She squeaked and used her finger to dig some more filling out of her cannoli and drew it across her lips.

"Hey, detective… I think I've got some more…" she said, putting the cannoli down on the plate and tapping the corner of her mouth. Abandoning all sense of decorum, Sonny brushed the crumbs off his shirt and grabbed Quinn around her waist, pulling her into his lap as his lips crashed down on hers. The kisses were sweet and sticky as he sucked off every last bit of cannoli cream. Lingering slightly, he prodded at her lips with his tongue and Quinn opened her mouth to let him in. He was eager to explore these uncharted territories and Quinn could feel him holding back. It was almost endearing in a way that he was restraining himself and trying to be gentle with her. With her thighs on either side of his, Quinn pushed up right against him - all of him - intent on drawing out the part of Sonny that he was trying to hide away.

He was first to break the kiss, biting down on her lower lip and tugging at it lightly. "Jesus, Quinn," he said breathlessly. "You're gonna be the death of me, I swear." She sat back further on Sonny's knees, looking at him intently. "What? Do I still have shit on my face?" Quinn shook her head, smiling.

"You're calling me by my name."

"Am I?" he asked. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I kinda like it. But I did like that you had a nickname for me only you used."

"Well, I'll have to figure out a cute pet name just for you, okay doll?"

"What about that?"

"What?"

Quinn groaned. "God, Fordham, do you not listen to yourself talk? Doll. You called me doll."

"I know, I know, I'm just messin' wit'ya doll," he said, pulling her in for a quick kiss. Quinn scrambled off of his lap, stretching her arms up in the air.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, if you don't mind," she said, heading for the bathroom. Sonny sat back, watching her disappear behind the door that she left cracked, almost invitingly.  _Tease!_  Sonny thought as he pulled his cellphone from his pocket and dialed Barbas number.

"Carisi, where are you?" Barba's voice came over the receiver.

"I told you I'm off today, Counselor. I figured maybe we can discuss whatever it is you need over the phone." Sonny rubbed his temple with his free hand.

"You're still at Quinn's aren't you," Barba asked. "Good, maybe you can bring her with you downtown. This is far too important a matter to let sit for too long." Sonny groaned. Barba had completely ignored whatever Sonny had just told him and was insistent on him coming into the office, vacation days be damned.

"Y'know Counselor, I was kinda hoping to spend the day with Quinn today. Help her recuperate from yesterday. Weren't you the one telling me to grow a pair and ask her out?" Carisi's tone was practically pleading, something Barba had never heard before in his life.

"Didn't you do enough  _recuperating_  yesterday,  _amigo_?" Barba's sharp retort stung and Sonny winced. "The earlier you two get down here the faster we will be done and you two can go out on your little date. Olivia is going to have my hide if we don't tackle this sooner rather than later."

"Alright, alright, we'll be there," Sonny said, clicking the call off and tossing his phone on the couch. He leaned back and rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes. The water in the bathroom shut off and after a few minutes Quinn emerged from the shower, wrapped up in towels. "That's a good look for you," Sonny exclaimed with a grin. Quinn quickly ducked into her bedroom to change.

"Who were you on the phone with?" she asked from her room as she pulled her shirt over her head.

"Barba. He wants us to come down and see him. Something about urgent business." She could tell from his tone that he wasn't happy about the call, and that it wasn't so much a request but a demand.

"I'm starting to think he got me this week off just so he could monopolize all my time," Quinn laughed, pulling on her jeans, socks, and sneakers. She left her room and sat on the armrest of the couch. "You can shower if you want. We can keep Barba waiting a little longer."

Sonny paused for a moment. He wanted to shake his head and just get whatever it was Barba wanted over with. But on the other hand, he was exhausted. He felt like crap after staying up all night and he could see his ragged reflection in the television. He let out a reluctant "Okay" and got up, following Quinn into the bathroom where she gave him a clean towel and offered to Febreze his clothes. She turned around quickly as Sonny began to unbuckle his pants. Sonny smirked, amused with her embarrassment after the show she had put on last night. She hadn't expected him to get completely naked and when the shower curtain rustled and the water turned on, Quinn turned back around, gathering up his clothes and taking them back out into the living room.

Smoothing out his clothes over the backrest of the couch, she grabbed a bottle of Febreze from the hall closet, giving everything a generous spray. Quinn sat carefully on the edge of the couch, waiting for Sonny to finish showering. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out.

 **Mike:**  Hey. Just wanted to check in. I'm sorry for rushing up on you like that.

Quinn raised an eyebrow, trying to formulate a sentence in response. She hadn't expected Mike to come running into the office yesterday, let alone have that much of a reaction to her would-be sexual assault.  _I'm fine. Thanks. It's okay._  She kept her sentences short, not trusting herself to avoid sending paragraph upon paragraph in response.

 **Mike:** How's Carisi? Olivia said he wasn't coming in to work today.

_He's fine. Barba wants to talk to him today so he's going downtown._

There was a short silence from Mike's end until her phone buzzed again.

 **Mike:** You going too?

 _I guess._ At this point Quinn assumed the entire squad knew that Carisi had spent the night and she decided to stop kidding herself.

 **Mike:**  Okay. Take care of yourself.

Quinn didn't respond, putting her phone back in her pocket. She wasn't sure if she was ready to have a normal relationship with Mike again. She had never really had a normal relationship with him to begin with. Quinn had already split on him after he had dumped her, everything shifting from "Mike is perfect" to "Mike is the worst human being to walk this earth" and he slowly drifted back into the positive after the wedding. It was all too much too quickly and Quinn clenched her palms as she willed herself to stop overthinking.

She heard the squeal of the faucet knobs come from the bathroom and soon Sonny came out. Quinn choked as she saw him, towel hanging low on his hips. His hair was damp and all out of place compared to the usual put together Sonny Carisi she was used to. Beads of water rolled down his chest and abdomen, absorbing into the edge of the towel right below his belly button. "Enjoying the view?" he asked, leaning against the doorway and causing the towel to slide even lower. Quinn bit down on her fist as she got up.

"Just get dressed, Fordham." He smirked in that lopsided way that drove Quinn's heart into a frenzy and he strode over to the couch.

"No peeking!" he said as she clapped her hands over her eyes like a small child. After a few minutes, he let her know he was dressed and she uncovered her eyes. "I smell like a field of lavender," he said, lifting his arm to take a whiff of the fabric. "Like my ma's linen cabinet."

"It's better than smelling like  _ass_ ," she retorted, crossing her arms. "If you're done making fun of my fabric spray, we can leave." Sonny laughed and grabbed his jacket as she found her purse and house keys. She turned to lock the door behind her as they left and stopped suddenly. "Mike texted me."

"Is that bad?" Sonny asked, looping his thumb through his belt loop.

"I don't know? Is it?" She looked up at him. His expression was earnest and she wanted to cry just looking at him. "I just don't want you to think anything is going on. Especially after what happened at Liv's. I don't want you to leave." She wasn't planning on saying it - it just came out. Quinn looked to the floor and he caught her by the chin, bringing her back up to make eye contact with him.

"Listen to me, doll. If I thought there was anything going on, I don't think any of last night or this morning would have happened. You're allowed to have friends, you know. Nobody's expecting you to erase him from your memory." She struggled to match his gaze as he kept looking right at her. "It would be kinda hard considering I work with him," he laughed, still holding her by the chin. "I get that you and him have a complicated history. You've got some baggage and I wanna help you carry it. I just want you to remember that I trust you."

Quinn was at a loss for words. He finally let go of her and she rocked back on her heels a few times. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"Besides," he started. "I'm not leaving unless you want me to." Quinn sighed in relief.

"Good," she said. He motioned for her to head down the stairs and followed after her, grabbing her by the hand as soon as they made it outside.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LUCKY NUMBER THIRTEEN HERE WE GOOOOO

Though 1 Hogan Place was only a half hour walk from Quinn's apartment, Carisi insisted they take the subway a few short stops. "The faster we get there, the faster we get out and spend the day together," he said, swiping Quinn through the turnstile. The M Train picked them up and swept them downtown to the ADA's office. As they entered the building, Sonny's arm shifted and wrapped around her waist, pulling her up against him while they waited for the elevator. Quinn was enjoying how Sonny couldn't keep his hands off her, but gently pried herself away as a larger crowd started gathering around the elevator doors. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze as they walked in and she saw the corner of his mouth turn up as he hit the button for Barba's floor.

Sonny announced them to the secretary at the desk who held up a finger and dialed Barba's office phone. A door swung open and Sonny followed Quinn into the office, sitting down on one of the couches near Barba's desk. The ADA sat down on top of his desk, tapping a pen against his lips as he stared at the two of them. "So," he said, pointing at them with the pen. "Is this a thing now?" Quinn breathed in sharply and Carisi leaned on his knees, raising a hand.

"I hardly think that's the point of this meeting, Counselor."

"The  _point_ , smartass," Barba retorted, "Is that we just got a matching DNA hit on all our rape kits thanks to Miss Silver over here."

Carisi turned to look at Quinn who was staring at Barba with her brow furrowed. "What are you talking about? What did I do?" she asked.

"This might be hard to hear so I suggest you brace yourself." Rafael set down his pen and shuffled through the folders laying on his desk. "When we sent the DNA sample you gave to check if Mr. Daniels had any priors to make the case solid for a restraining order, Warner called and said it matched with all the rape kits we had for the serial case we were working on. Including Melanie Jackson."

"Quinn, you alright?" Sonny asked as her jaw dropped and the color drained from her face.

"I'm going to throw up," she said, pushing herself up off the couch and running towards the bathroom. The two men heard retching noises and Sonny leaned back on the couch, running his hand down his face.

"You're kidding, right?" Sonny asked.

"If I was kidding my face would not look like this, Carisi."

"Your face always looks like that, Counselor."

Barba shot Sonny a look and dropped the files on his desk. "Before we move forward with this case I need to know the extent of your relationship right now." Sonny shrugged and Barba sighed. "If you're emotionally entangled in this case you know I cannot let you into the courtroom."

"And what, reassign it back to Dodds? This back and forth is going to drive the lieutenant crazy."

"You're avoiding the question. I'm not asking purely from a professional standpoint, Carisi."

"Yeah? Then what standpoint are you asking from, Counselor?"

"I'm asking as a friend." Shaken, Sonny looked up at Barba, eyes wide. The ADA smirked at him, leaning back on his arms. "So, what's going on?"

Sonny paused before answering. Quinn was still in the bathroom - he heard the muffled sound of the toilet flushing and another loud retch. He got up and knocked on the door. "Ya need some help in there?"

"No. It's fine. Just a few minutes." Quinn's words came out labored and Sonny walked back to the couch.

"Barba," he mumbled, "How am I supposed to know the extent of our relationship after one night?"

"That's a fun question for a Bar exam," the ADA snorted. "Have you  _talked_  to her?"

"I didn't really have a chance to, Mr. I'm-Awake-At-Four-AM," Sonny shot back. "I was going to take her out and set things straight but you sorta ruined the mood for today," he said, motioning towards the bathroom.

Rafael sighed. "I'm sorry, but Olivia insisted we put this in motion. It's Tuesday and we have to catch this guy before he puts another girl in the hospital. He's been careful so far but after his mishap with Quinn I don't expect him to stay low."

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open and Quinn emerged, looking disheveled and red-faced as she held onto the doorframe. "So," she began as Sonny leapt up to help her. "What's the plan?" The detective gingerly put his hand on her waist as they walked back to the couch. "You know, Fordham, I'm not dying." He ignored her and didn't let go until he had her sitting securely by his side while Barba watched with an amused smirk on his face. Quinn brushed her hair out of her face and looked up at the ADA expectantly.

"Well. This is the perfect situation. We arrest Daniels, ideally you and Melanie would testify, judge rules in our favor and case closed. If we have the three rape kits and Melanie's positive ID, this should be a fairly easy case to finish."

"You want me to testify?" Quinn exclaimed, digging her nails into her knees.

"I'm not going to force you, Quinn. We have a solid case without it, but it would help -"

"No, I want to. I want to ruin his life." She looked Barba dead in the eye and held his gaze as he studied her face. "I'm sure." Quinn answered his question before he could ask it and he nodded.

"Then we're done here. Quinn, I will be in touch with you as will Lieutenant Benson. Good work."

Sonny shot up off the couch, picking Quinn up with him. They quickly said goodbye to the ADA and Sonny swept Quinn out of the room, practically dragging her to the elevator. "Hey, my legs are shorter than yours, Fordham. Slow down." She panted as they waited for the elevator to reach their floor. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, CPEP. Just worried about you."

"Was it the barfing? I swear it was probably just sudden anxiety and the rest of last night's booze. I'm alright, I swear," she said, holding her hand over her heart. Sonny shook his head as the doors opened and he ushered her inside.

"It's not that," he said, pulling her close and nuzzling his nose into her hair. "I just want you to be alright. You've got a lot of stuff goin' on and not all of it is good stuff and I know I'd be overwhelmed if I were you." Quinn smiled and turned her head to give Sonny a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before pulling herself out of his grip.

"It's not as overwhelming when you've got the right person to help you through it," she said, earning herself a bright grin from Carisi. They left the building after the elevator came to a stop and Quinn felt her stomach begin to rumble. "God, I'm starving."

"I dunno 'bout you, CPEP, but I could eat a whole pastrami sandwich right now."

"I've never had pastrami before."

Quinn swore she could see Sonny go through all five stages of grief after her response. He looked at her in disbelief. "You've  _never_  had pastrami before? How long did you say you lived in New York again?"

"Uh… subtracting my four year stint in Chicago… twenty three years?"

" _Twenty three years_  without a pastrami sandwich? You're joking." Sonny shook his head. "We're gonna have to remedy that today, CPEP. Whattaya say?"

"I don't even know if I'm going to like it, Fordham. What if it's just a colossal waste of money?" She put her hands on her hips. "Are you gonna take away my New Yorker card?"

"You're gonna like it, I'm sure of it." He held out his hand. "Come on. You're gonna get the full New York pastrami experience." She sighed, grabbing hold of his hand as he started walking uptown. Carisi was way too excited to feed her this sandwich and Quinn was slightly worried that she would disappoint him. He talked the whole way about his mother's cooking and favorite food, stopping occasionally to ask Quinn a question or two. "I know you're not really one to talk about your family but you had to have had a favorite food growing up, right?"

Quinn shrugged. "My mom used to make a mean shepherd's pie. And corned beef sandwiches like nobody's business. I guess that kinda sticks out for me."

"Then you're going to love this today. It's almost the same thing just cooked differently." Quinn looked up and saw that Carisi had stopped on the corner of Houston and Ludlow. "Here we are." The giant sign reading "KATZ'S" loomed over her as she gasped.

"You're kidding, Fordham. This place is so expensive. I don't think I brought enough money with me." Katz's Delicatessen was known for their high prices - something that deterred Quinn all her life.

"Good thing you ain't paying for it now, CPEP."

"No, I can't let you -"

"I don't wanna hear another word about it. You owe me a date, remember? I got you." Quinn felt her heart start beating a little too quickly and took a few breaths to steady herself. Sonny held the door open for her and they walked in, receiving two tickets from the men at the counter.

"Sonny, are you sure? I don't want to impose…"

"Quinn, you say one more thing that's not food and I'm ordering the most expensive thing on the menu for you." Carisi smirked at her and her eyes widened as she looked at the boards above the counter.

"I guess I'm here for a pastrami on rye, right?"

"One pastrami on rye and a Reuben," Sonny said to the man behind the counter. "Gonna see what all the fuss is about with your corned beef," he said, winking at Quinn. She watched intently as the man carved off pieces of meat and put some on a plate in front of them. Carisi picked one up with his fingers and motioned for Quinn to do so as well. "Try it. It's delicious." She reached out and grabbed a piece, cautiously taking a bite. The meat was soft and warm and practically melted in her mouth.

Their sandwiches were done in record time and Sonny grabbed the tray, heading to a table in a back corner. He put the tray down, pulling out a chair for Quinn and waited for her to sit. She furrowed her brow as she sat down, watching as he walked all the way around the table to sit across from her. Not knowing where to start, Quinn slid her plate closer and picked up a half of the sandwich. "This better be good, Fordham." Sonny grinned at her.

"Just  _eat it_ , CPEP."

She sighed and took a bite. If the slice of meat she had before was any indication of how good the sandwich was, the whole thing was ten times better. A little overhyped, in Quinn's opinion, but delicious and worth it nonetheless. She put the sandwich down, pulling a napkin from the dispenser. "Your turn." They took turns back and forth, taking bites and arguing about the different tastes and impressions. Finally. Quinn finished her food and pushed the plate away, leaning back in the chair with her hands folded over her stomach. "That was good, Carisi. Thank you."

Stunned, the detective put down the last bite of his Reuben.

"What are you looking at me like that for, Fordham?"

"It was good while it lasted," he sighed, shaking his head and finishing the sandwich.

"What are you talking about? I'll buy you more food if you're still hungry."

"It's not that, Quinn. I haven't heard you use my name - any of them - since I met you. Caught me by surprise, is all."

Quinn raised an eyebrow and wiped her mouth with another napkin. "Figured if you're going to start calling me by my name, maybe I'll make an attempt with yours,  _Carisi_." He smiled and sat back in the chair. "So, does this satisfy that date I've owed you since March?"

"I dunno, CPEP. I seem to remember you saying something about 'never dating another cop again'." He crossed his arms, staring at her with a devious look on his face. Quinn huffed and crossed her legs under the table, bumping into his obscenely long legs. She knew he was up to something.

"Well I guess I have to make an exception for you, don't I?"

"Yeah, but that would imply you'd do it more than once."

"So what if I would?"

"You would?"

"Yeah."

Sonny got up with a start, picking up the trash and returning it to the appropriate rack. Quinn got up to follow and pulled out her wallet, earning a disapproving look from Sonny. "What did I tell you before? I got it." He reached for his debit card and paid for their food, placing his hand on the small of her back and exiting the restaurant. "Just to be clear, I was asking if I could see you more often on a more than friends with benefits basis."

Quinn burst out laughing. "Always the charmer, Carisi."

"Hey, this is a serious question and concern!"

"Okay. And the answer is yes. Yes you can." As Quinn answered, Carisi stopped on the corner, pulling her around in front of him. He placed both hands on her cheeks, dipping down to kiss her. She stood up on her tiptoes, holding on to his forearms. "Don't think your girlfriend is going to be too happy when she finds out," Quinn chuckled as he pulled away.

"Eh, you could take her," he smirked, throwing his arm over her shoulders as he walked her back home.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Carisi had promised he would keep Quinn updated on the progress with her case. The squad was going in to arrest Brett and Quinn had to wonder if Brett would even have gone to work as if nothing happened. She sat on the couch, staring at her phone laying on the coffee table with her knees drawn to her chest, casting a glance towards her front door to make sure the bolt was still locked. It was unlike Quinn to be so scared and she hated feeling the tightness in her chest as her phone remained silent.

Olivia had called her last night, letting her know that as soon as the DNA results came in she had contacted the hospital and issued a BOLO for Brett. They were tracking his credit cards and phone number and Quinn was relieved to hear that he had stopped being careful with his movements. Brett had reported for work the following morning, was spotted using his card at a few stores, and did not make any phone calls out of the ordinary.  _He thinks he's too good to be caught. He's an idiot. He's cocky._

She looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It had been three hours since the detective had last checked in with her. Quinn had been up all night, anxiously texting between Amanda and Sonny until they had both fallen asleep. She, on the other hand, lay awake staring at the cracks in the ceiling until the sun came up. At 12:15pm, her phone buzzed and Quinn nearly fell off the couch to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Quinn," Amanda's voice said through the speaker.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

"I'm with Olivia and Nick, we've been hanging around the hospital making sure he doesn't disappear. All exits are covered and we're just waiting for confirmation that he's back. Mike and Fin are going in as soon as they let us know."

"And Fordham?"

"Against Barba's advice, he's insisting on going in with them."

"Okay. Call me once it's over."

"I'll let him know."

Quinn could feel Amanda's smirk through the phone as she hung up. A message from Ken popped up on her screen and Quinn clicked on it. They were close friends as classmates, going through undergraduate and graduate school together. She had spent a lot of time with Fin's son, in and and out of school up until graduation. Her internships had often fallen into SVU's path due to her client base and she had ultimately gotten to know Fin through Ken. Ken had gone on to get married and had a kid on the way and Quinn disappeared into her work, stumbling back into SVU every so often.

 **Ken:**  Just checking in. You alright?

_Yeah, waiting to hear back from the squad. Thanks for everything._

She hadn't expected much from Ken - they were both social workers and he knew she understood how things worked. It was just nice to feel that people cared. She set aside her phone, flipping on the tv while she waited for any information from the squad.

* * *

 

As soon as he got the call from Olivia that Brett had come back to the hospital, Sonny got up from his seat with a start. It took both Fin and Mike to settle him down as though not to create any suspicion. "Get your shit together, Sonny. None of this is going to work if you go into this with your heart on your sleeve." Fin placed a hand on his shoulder, holding the young detective back until they could follow him towards the emergency room.

After discussion with Barba, they had agreed to let Fin collar him and be in charge of the paperwork. Mike and Carisi both had ties to Quinn that would not go over well to a jury if their names appeared next to the arrest. The three detectives held back briefly before rushing down the hallway, Sonny's long stride putting him well ahead of the other detectives. He flung the door open to the emergency room, flashing his badge at the triage nurse who buzzed open the door into the treatment area. Fin rushed in, spotting Brett instantly and waved his badge while reaching for his cuffs. The resident had nowhere to hide as he had been boxed in against the nurse's station and Finn grabbed him, pinning an arm up against his back.

"Brett Daniels, you're under arrest for rape," Fin growled in his ear.

"Rape? Is that what that bitch said?" Brett laughed as he caught sight of Sonny and Mike. "I didn't do anything to her."

"Yeah? Who's that now?" Mike jumped in, noticing Sonny's fists clenching. He grabbed Brett's other arm and the two detectives began to lead the resident out of the emergency room, Sonny holding doors open for them as they left.

"Your little social worker. There's no way this isn't all because she cried to you guys." Sonny whirled around, pressing his finger into Brett's chest.

"You're right. Without her, we wouldn't have caught you for what you did to those other girls." Sonny stepped back as they exited the hospital, looking for the car that would transport them back to the precinct.

"So which one of you is she sleeping with now?"

Fin grunted as he shoved Brett into the squad car that pulled up to the front of the hospital, slamming the door shut before Sonny had a chance to throw himself at the doctor. Mike crossed his arms while Fin climbed into the front passenger seat, heading downtown to book Brett. Sonny's phone rang and he looked down to see Olivia's name. "Yeah, Lieu? Uh huh. You're joking? Why? You sure? Okay." Mike raised an eyebrow.

"Liv said we oughta go visit Quinn. Said she's got enough people to handle this and thinks someone should let her know what's going on, escort her to the station to make an ID."

"Both of us?"

"I'm just as confused as you are, Dodds. She said both of us."

"For some reason I think it would be better if you go on your own, Carisi. I'll head back to the station."

Mike headed back downtown with Amanda, Olivia, and Amaro after explaining the situation to the lieutenant. Carisi took a cab to Quinn's house, sending Quinn a text that he would be there shortly. He walked in through the unlocked door and was greeted with a frazzled Quinn torpedoing across the apartment, latching herself onto him as he gave her the news. Quinn burst out crying from laughter as Sonny held her, resting his chin on her head. "We got him, doll. We got him."

* * *

 

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. The defendant has been charged with five counts of rape in the third degree and one count of forcible touching. A doctor who worked in a pediatric emergency room was charged with these crimes, two of his victims being underage girls. The prosecution will call four witnesses to the stand - two of which are victims of his crimes, the arresting officer, and the medical examiner who unearthed the connection between a string of serial rapes."

Quinn had been the second witness called up, after Melanie Jackson's testimony. It took some coaxing and convincing to have the family working with another social worker due to Quinn's entanglement in the case, but Melanie was prepped and ready and recounted her attack. She dug her nails into her knees as the defense attorney, John Buchanan, mercilessly pressed into Melanie's story, trying to find a hole he could weasel his client out of. The fifteen year old girl was terrified but stuck to her story until Buchanan gave up.

Sonny patted Quinn's thigh as she was called to the stand. Surprised that they had let her sit through Melanie's testimony, Quinn got up and made her way to the box. After swearing in, she turned to look hopefully at Barba who gave her a stern but knowing look. "Ms. Silver, could you tell the jury about the events that happened leading you to press charges against the defendant?"

Quinn took a deep breath and spouted out the story line by line as she and Barba had rehearsed it. There should have been no holes in her testimony and Barba had made sure of the language and details used. He nodded at Quinn. "Your witness," he said to Buchanan. As the brutish lawyer stood up, Quinn inhaled sharply.

"Ms. Silver, you say you were attacked by my client after he had walked you home. Is that right?"

"That's what I said," she responded, earning a slight chuckle from Carisi in the audience.

"Please describe your relationship with Mr. Daniels prior to the alleged assault."

Quinn bristled slightly. "We work in the same department at the hospital. There is no relationship to speak of outside of being work colleagues. He often asked me to go get coffee or lunch with him but I have never accepted or indicated otherwise."

"Aside from that night? When you without question accepted his invitation to dinner?"

"Well… yes."

"And you knew Mr. Daniels had romantic feelings for you?"

"What? Yes, but -"

"Yes or no, Ms. Silver."

"Yes."

"And your acceptance could have been construed as a date, yes or no?"

"I told him it wasn't -"

"Yes or no."

"No."

"Yet you knowingly went to lead my client on the entire night?"

"Objection, speculation!" Barba shouted from his table.

"Sustained. Jury will disregard." The judge looked sternly at Buchanan. "Be careful, Counselor."

"Okay then. Ms. Silver, would you say you have a vendetta against Mr. Daniels due to the previous witness being one of your clients at the hospital?"

Stunned, Quinn turned to look at Barba. He was sitting with his hand roughly rubbing his jaw. Quinn swore she could see a vein pulsing in his head. Buchanan smirked and waved his hand. "No further questions."

"Redirect, Your Honor?" Barba said, standing up with a start. Quinn knew her testimony would not be taken seriously after Buchanan had lain into her and turned it into a joke. "Ms. Silver, yes or no: Did you do or say anything that would have lead Mr. Daniels to believe this was a date."

"No."

"Have you ever in your time of knowing Mr. Daniels expressed any attraction, sexual or romantic?"

"No."

"Did you or did you not tell Mr. Daniels to stop when he began to put his hands on you?"

"I did."

"Did Mr. Daniels stop?"

"No. Not until I bit him and he let go of me."

"No further questions."

As soon as the judge let her go, Quinn raced out of the courtroom, followed by Sonny and Mike. She all but keeled over on one of the marble benches up against the wall and dropped her head into her hands. Sonny loped over and knelt beside her. "Quinn, hey, you alright?" he asked, alerting her of his presence before rubbing her arm. Mike sat down on the bench next on her opposite side, leaning his elbows on his knees. "You did great, doll. There's no way the jury won't see through Buchanan's obvious misdirection." Quinn looked up at Sonny before turning her gaze to Mike.

"Did I manipulate that guy?" she asked, looking directly at Mike. It was a loaded question - she knew Mike knew her better than anyone in the squad. She felt Sonny's hand clench slightly on her arm but she kept her eyes trained on Mike.

"No, you didn't, Quinn," Mike said, giving Sonny a cautious look. "You hung out with the guy who couldn't take no for an answer. It's not your fault." She sighed, pressing her side into Sonny's as he got up off the ground and sat down next to her.

"I never apologized for snapping at you at the squad room that night," Quinn said to Mike. His mouth turned up in a smile and he rubbed her back. "But I'm sorry, Mike. It was a knee jerk reaction."

"You're fine, Quinn. It's not a big deal. I'm just glad you're alright."

 _God, I can cut this tension with a knife_ , Quinn thought as she was sandwiched between the two detectives. With a thousand other things on her mind, Quinn decided she was going to focus on her conversation with Carisi the other day.  _"Nobody's expecting you to erase him from your memory"_  rang in her head as she wrapped her arms around her middle, rocking back and forth between them. Mike had been such a big part of her life since moving back to New York and such a recent wound even though it had been months since he had dumped her. And Carisi… Poor Carisi had gotten caught up in everything and she was terrified of it ending up the same way. The trio sat on the bench in silence, watching the courtroom doors for a sign of life. Carefully, Quinn moved her hand and laced her fingers with Carisi's as she leaned her head on his shoulder. She felt him let out a deep breath and squeezed his hand. "I wonder how Fin's testimony is going."

"I'll go back and check. There's no way he's getting off with the DNA evidence." Mike got up and headed back into the courtroom, nearly bumping into Fin as he was leaving. Mike mumbled something to him and nodded before disappearing inside. Fin dodged through the crowds of people and stood over the pair on the bench.

"Buchanan's really trying it, but I think Barba has it under control," he said, stuffing his hands into his blazer pockets. "Dude's pulling out every trick up his sleeve. Even asked how I ended up being the arresting officer when two other detectives had been on the case. Anything to ruin your credibility and ours for that matter."

Finally, the jury returned with a guilty verdict. Quinn thought she was going to pass out when she heard the news. She rushed over to Melanie's family to thank them for everything and gave Melanie a big hug. Carisi came up behind her, placing his hand on her back, ushering her out of the courtroom. "Drinks on me, guys," she said cheerfully, whipping out her phone to call Amanda.

* * *

 

The detectives all met up at a local bar near the precinct after work. Amanda rushed in to find Quinn laughing and throwing back shots with Mike and Sonny, Fin watching them in amusement. "Am I late for the party?" she asked with a laugh, clapping her hands down on Sonny and Quinn's shoulders.

"Of course not," Quinn replied, scooting her stool back to make room for Amanda between herself and Mike. Quinn waved over the bartender to refill the shot glasses.

"Congrats, by the way. I was worried he would weasel his way out of the verdict," Amanda said, raising her shotglass. The squad agreed and toasted to the guilty verdict. After a couple rounds, Olivia got up and said she had to go home to Noah and Ed before it got too late. Fin nodded in agreement and said he was going to head on home as well. Shortly after they left, Mike said his goodbyes, and Quinn, Sonny, and Amanda were left at the bar. Quinn sipped on a glass of water quietly as the conversation started to die down. Suddenly, Amanda piped up. "So, what's going on with you two?"

Quinn froze, staring straight ahead as Amanda's gaze darted from her to Carisi. Sonny looked at the floor, hand twitching on the backrest of Quinn's stool. "Oh, come  _on_!" Amanda sighed, slamming her glass down on the table. "Everyone knows you didn't make it home after you took Quinn home the other night."

"Rollins, that's not your -" Carisi started to speak but Amanda interjected.

"Not my what? Not my business? You're my  _partner_. And you," she said, pointing at Quinn, "are my  _friend_. It would be nice to not be the last one to find out about things for once." The three of them were starting to feel the alcohol suddenly and tensions were running high. Quinn got up with a start and headed for the bathroom. Amanda shot Sonny a look and got up to follow her. The door barely had any time to swing shut when Amanda burst in to see Quinn leaning over the sink, knuckles turning white from squeezing the sides too hard. "Quinn? Quinn, talk to me," Amanda said, rushing over and putting a hand on her back.

"About  _what_ , Amanda?" Quinn sighed. "Where do you want me to start?"

"I'm sorry if I'm being nosy, Q," Amanda said as Quinn straightened up. "I just worry about you sometimes. Carisi is a great guy and you deserve someone as sweet as him. Don't take this the wrong way but I also don't want him to just be a rebound."

Quinn laughed bitterly. "You and me both, 'Manda. I really like him. It scares me just how much I like him. I just don't want it to end up like me and Mike did. I don't think I can handle that so soon."

"Quinn," Amanda started. "No offense, but I knew you and Dodds were doomed as soon as you started. It was just physical. You two were constantly fighting or fucking with little periods of quiet in between. But you and Carisi? There's something there." Quinn turned to look at Amanda.

"He did stay over that night. And some things happened. But not  _the_  thing. Because he's a gentleman." Quinn's sentences were short and erratic as she tried to summarize the last few days. "Only Barba knows so far, and you. He makes me so happy and I don't feel so broken when he's around." She didn't know why tears were welling up in her eyes but Amanda laughed and gave her a big hug.

"My partner and my best friend dating? If you two break up I'm going to have to quit SVU, and then I'm going to kill you both."

"Is that your blessing, Amanda?" Quinn said with a giggle.

"Of course it is."

The two of them finally emerged from the bathroom, heads together and arms linked as they laughed about some joke that Sonny hadn't heard. He watched them return to their spot at the bar and Quinn flung her arms around Sonny, standing up on her tiptoes to press her lips against his. Shocked, Carisi gently pulled back.

"What was that for, doll?"

"I've been dying to do that all day."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all my readers, from Tumblr/FFN/and on here. You guys keep me going :]

The lull that had fallen over SVU was welcomed by all members of the unit, as well as Quinn. After tying up the case and filing away all the paperwork, it was business as usual for the social worker and her group of detective friends. Sonny had been spending an increasing amount of time at Quinn's apartment after his night classes and she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it. At first, she decided to just leave the door unlocked - she had given Sonny the auto-buzz code so he could get upstairs. However, the first and only time she had done it, she could hardly sleep from anxiety of having someone break in. Her ordeal with Brett was still very fresh and she nearly jumped out of her skin when Sonny walked into the apartment. The next morning, she promptly had a key made and gave it to Sonny one evening.

He would never admit it, but the small gesture made his heart beat so fast, Sonny was sure it was going to give out right then and there. "You never had a spare key made?" Sonny had asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"No," she said, much to his relief. "Why would I? I've never let anyone come into my apartment by themselves before." Sonny grinned from the couch at her as she stood in the center of the living room brushing her hair. "Besides, I'm not a monster. I'm not going to force you to go all the way back to Williamsburg in the middle of the night when you've had a full day."

She would try to stay awake until he came home, but always woke up in the middle of the night to the lanky detective snoring softly in her ear. They got ready together in the morning and Sonny would be off downtown while she headed for Bellevue Hospital.

One day, Quinn came home to find Carisi sitting on her stoop. He gave her a sheepish grin as she approached and stood up to pull her in for a hug. "Not that I'm complaining or anything," Quinn started, muffled by his chest, "but don't you have class tonight?" Carisi let her go, sticking his hand out to take her bag.

"Got an e-mail that class was cancelled after I had already started heading uptown… Figured I'd surprise you."

"Were you waiting long?" Quinn asked, noticing the shopping bag on the floor that he had stooped over to pick up. He shook his head and slung her bag over his shoulder as she began fumbling for her keys in her pocket.

"Nah, I figured I'd pick up some groceries since I'm eating you out of house and home. I'll make dinner tonight." Quinn turned to smile shyly at him. They had been together for almost a month but Sonny had never offered to cook - Quinn usually picked up some take-out and left it in the fridge for him on nights he had class. Her fridge was never particularly well stocked from the get go - various vegetables, milk, and eggs were about the only things she ever replenished - and Sonny was always hungry. They made it upstairs and Quinn unlocked her door, kicking off her shoes as Sonny went to put the grocery bags on the kitchen counter.

"What are you making?" she asked, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. Sonny struggled to arrange the food on the countertop and she squeezed him tightly, and he quickly gave up, twisting around in her arms to kiss the top of her head.

"I  _was_  going to make my Ma's spaghetti, but I can't with you playing koala like this." he laughed and Quinn let him loose.

"Rude," she joked, sticking out her tongue before going to her room to change into comfortable clothing. As she sifted through her clothes and sorted them into piles for laundry, she noted with a small grin that there was a growing pile of Carisi's laundry laying on her floor. "Hey, Sonny," she called. "Come in here for a sec."

Sonny poked his head into the bedroom, unbuttoning his vest and loosening his tie. "What's up, doll?" Quinn pointed to the pile of clothes on the floor. "I'm sorry, I'll take it all home one day and dry clean it, I swear." She shook her head.

"No, silly." Quinn opened a drawer and took out some of her clothes, transferring them to a pile on a nearby ottoman. She fished out a few empty hangers from the back of her closet and pushed her jackets aside, leaving a visible gap. "If you're going to be leaving clothes here, might as well make some space for you, right?" Sonny smiled so widely Quinn could see every individual crinkle in the corners of his eyes.

"You're cute," he said, taking off his vest and tie and tossing them on the pile of clothes on the floor before rolling up his sleeves. He slid the fabric slowly up his arms and Quinn breathed in sharply - she always loved when Sonny rolled his sleeves up. He left the room to finish preparing their meal, and Quinn sat on the couch watching him. "It's my Ma's secret recipe, doll. I can't just tell you - she would find out and kill me because she didn't get to give it to you herself."

Quinn laughed. "Your ma sounds like a real character," she said and Sonny nodded as he stirred the spaghetti in the water. She kept watching quietly as he finished, scooping noodles onto two plates and topping it off with tomato sauce he had seemed to make out of nowhere. Quinn went to get some wine glasses and a bottle, and as she reached for the container of parmesan cheese in the fridge Sonny shook his head at her.

"You don't need it. Trust me," he said, putting the plates down on the coffee table in front of the couch. Quinn raised an eyebrow before uncorking the bottle and pouring two glasses of Merlot. She sat down next to him and he looked at her expectantly as she picked up the plate, twisting some spaghetti onto the fork. Quinn took a tentative bite and Sonny's face lit up as she swallowed. "Well?"

"This tastes amazing, Sonny."

"Really? I know it's just spaghetti but I've never tried out the way Ma makes it and I figured I would try it out for you," he blurted out. Quinn laughed and ate another forkful, nodding her head in the direction of his plate.

"I'm honored, Sonny, but you should eat before it gets cold." He quickly picked up the plate and they ate the food, talking about each other's days. When the conversation died down and they finished the meal, Quinn took his plate and headed over to the sink, turning on the water and grabbing the dish soap.

"Hey, Quinn?" Sonny asked, twisting around on the couch to look at her. Quinn  _hmm_ ed as she washed the plates and Sonny continued. "I was thinking about how you said you don't really keep in touch with your family and we're all you've got out here." Quinn froze, squeezing the sponge tightly as she wondered where this was going. "Would you like to come meet mine one day? I know they're dying to meet you, so I figured I would just ask." When Quinn didn't answer, Sonny started backpedaling and she turned to look at the flustered detective.

"Of course I'd like to meet them," Quinn said, alleviating his anxiety. Sonny smiled and whipped out his phone to check the calendar.

"Everyone's getting together for Memorial Day Weekend that's coming up. Will you be off then?" Quinn nodded and Sonny beamed. "I'll pick you up Saturday then. The family will probably all show up Sunday." Quinn stopped him.

"This is an overnight thing?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Sonny looked concerned and suddenly wanted to take it all back.

"No, of course not. I just need to make sure I have enough clean underwear to last the weekend," she said with a laugh. "I'd love to meet your family and hear all the things you've been telling them about me."

* * *

 

Quinn's phone was going off the hook as she rummaged through her closet, nowhere near ready for Sonny to show up. Her buzzer rang a few times, followed by the key scraping in the lock as Carisi walked in. "Doll, you alright? I was getting worried," he called from the front of the apartment. She sat on the floor in her bedroom, surrounded by piles of clothing, and groaned loudly. "Quinn?" he asked hesitantly, walking over to the bedroom.

Quinn looked up from the closet explosion and pointed at her empty bag. "I don't know what to wear. I don't have anything to put on. I can't bring my whole wardrobe with me in case your mother doesn't like the shirt I'm wearing." She let out a frustrated noise and hid her face in her hands. Sonny came into the room quietly, kneeling down beside her and reaching out to put his hand on her back. Quinn stiffened at his touch, whipping her head around and swatting his hand away. Sonny flinched and drew his hand back as she glared at him, unexplained anger bubbling up inside of her.

"Quinn?"

"What? What, Fordham? This is all your fault, you know," she snapped. "But you and your big, blue, puppy dog eyes make it so hard to say  _no_." Sonny didn't know where this was coming from and the more he tried to speak and assuage her, Quinn kept interrupting and shouting.

"Doll, if you don't want to go…"

"I don't want to go anywhere. Not with you, not with anyone!" she yelled, pointing at the door. "Go!" Sonny got up but didn't move and she repeated the command again, standing up and kicking a pile of clothing out of her way.

Sonny held his hands up. "Alright, alright. You want me to leave? Fine." He turned on his heel and headed slowly for the door, looking back to see what Quinn would do. She stood in the doorway of her bedroom with her arms crossed, fuming, until Sonny opened the front door and disappeared behind it. As the door closed, Quinn suddenly dropped her arms and began to breathe heavily as she ran across the apartment to the front door. She threw the door open and was greeting with Sonny leaning against the opposite wall, hands in his pockets.

"Sonny?" she gasped.

"Are ya done with whatever it is just happened?" Sonny asked with a slight smile.

"I thought you were leaving," she stammered, backing out of the doorway into her apartment. Sonny chuckled and shook his head.

"It's going to take a lot more than a little freak out to get rid of me, doll. Now, do you still want to go to Staten Island or try again tomorrow?" Quinn gulped and moved out of the way to let Sonny back into the apartment.

"I'm sorry. I'll finish packing. Can you help me?" She had been expecting Sonny to leave. Quinn didn't know how to react, but decided to give Sonny the benefit of the doubt that everything would be alright. Sonny kept his distance as he followed her back to her bedroom and sat down on the edge of the mattress as she stood in the pile of clothing.

He moved to start segregating the clothes into separate piles, laughing as she snatched her underwear away from him. "Did you really think I was just going to leave like that?" Sonny asked. There was a hint of sadness in his voice and Quinn sat down on the bed next to him, defeated by the pile of clothing laying on the ground. Sonny turned to look at her, gently taking her hands into his. Quinn shook her head, looking away from him. "Look, whatever's buggin' ya, you can talk to me about it. I don't mean right now, just whenever you're ready." He paused briefly before putting a finger under her chin and lifting it to look at her. "I don't scare easy, doll."

Quinn launched herself off the bed, enveloping Sonny in a crushing hug. He laughed and patted her back, waiting until she let go to get up and find the bag that had gotten crushed under them on the bed. As she held up various shirts and dresses for Sonny to see and approve, Quinn couldn't help but feel horribly embarrassed by the scene she had caused earlier. It wasn't his fault that she had gotten frustrated, but she still took it out on him in the moment.

Finally, her bag was packed with clothing and toiletries and Quinn thanked Sonny for helping her before they went downstairs to where she waited for Sonny to pull out his car keys. "What car keys?" Sonny asked, grinning cheekily.

"Aren't we driving to Staten Island?"

Sonny shook his head. "We're going to take the ferry. Weather's nice. Thought it would be a nice outing."

"I've never taken the ferry before," Quinn exclaimed. Sonny's eyes widened and he smiled even wider than before.

"Then it'll be even more exciting the first time!" Quinn rolled her eyes with a smile and adjusted the bag on her shoulder. She resisted Sonny's attempts to carry it for her, and scowled when he refused to let her pay for her own MetroCard. "Can you just let me treat you nice, Quinn? Is it such a bad thing?" he asked as they waited for the N Train, wrapping his arms around her from behind and nuzzling into her hair.

When they reached the Staten Island Ferry, Quinn finally let Sonny take her bag as she went to find a place by the railing. "Am I going to fall over when it starts moving?" she asked, peeking hesitantly over the rails as Sonny laughed. "I'm going to take that as a no…" she mumbled, holding on tightly to the railings as the ferry horn signaled their departure. Sonny sat on a seat with her bag, watching Quinn gazing out at the New York City skyline as they floated towards Staten Island. Her hair whipped around her face as she stood up on her tiptoes, leaning forward over the railing. Suddenly feeling a rush of anxiety, Sonny got up and ran over, placing a hand on her shoulder to pull her back. Quinn dropped back onto her heels and looked up at him, red-faced and smiling.

"Sorry doll… Ya scared me a bit there," Sonny said apologetically. "Don't hang out like that, okay?"

Quinn had gotten caught up by the rush of endorphins as she leaned out over the edge that she had forgotten there was an actual river under the ferry and she would most likely drown if she fell over. Apologizing to Sonny, she gave him a short hug and a kiss on the cheek. The detective pulled his phone out of his pocket, turning on the front camera. "Here, Quinn. Let's take a picture to document baby's first ferry ride." She scowled and quickly smiled for the picture. Sonny pressed the button and put his phone away after Quinn checked to see if the picture came out nicely. "Now, if you behave I'll show you the Statue of Liberty behind us," Sonny laughed, turning to bring her bag closer to the rails.

"I've never been to the Statue of Liberty either."

"You're killin' me, Quinn."


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thar be smut ahead!

As the ferry finally docked, Sonny picked up Quinn's bag and took her by the hand, leading her to the road where a blonde woman was standing and waving by a car. Sonny noted that that was his sister, Bella, when Quinn looked up at him with a questioning glance. Suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread and inadequacy, Quinn gripped Sonny's hand a little harder as he dropped her bag and threw his free arm around Bella. "Bell, this is Quinn." Quinn shyly extended her hand to greet his sister, but Bella swatted her hand away and brought her in for a hug.

"Don't be shy, Quinn. We're a family of huggers," Bella said and Quinn managed to let out a small laugh as Sonny loaded her bag into the trunk. "Just you wait until Ma sees you." Quinn raised an eyebrow and sat in the backseat with Sonny as Bella returned to the driver's seat. The siblings chattered the entire way home and Quinn felt slightly intimidated. At a red light, Bella turned in her seat to look at Quinn. "You ready for a Carisi packed weekend, Quinn?" she asked. "Teresa and Gina are coming later tonight and Tommy went to go pick up Nana and Pop. I think Teresa's bringing the kids along since her husband's working this weekend…"

Quinn paled and swallowed as she tried to do mental math to count up how many people she would be meeting this weekend. Sonny's hand slid across the seat and onto her thigh, thumb rubbing a soft circle into her jean shorts. "Bella you're freaking her out," Sonny chided.

"Have you not told her anything about your family?" Bella sounded shocked as she accused Sonny.

"Of course I've told her about everyone!" Sonny snapped, fingers tightening their hold on Quinn's thigh.

"It's fine," Quinn chimed in. "I'm more amazed all of you are going to fit under one roof?" She tried to dispel the tensions rising between Sonny and his sister, but he assured her that this was just a regular conversation and they often ended up arguing over nothing. Bella laughed and explained that generations of Carisi's had lived in this house, each with their brood of children,  _of course there's space Quinn don't even worry about it_.

They turned onto Arden Avenue and down a few side streets until they reached a large, cozy looking house with several cars parked in the driveway and outside. "Thought ya said everyone was showing up later," Sonny asked suspiciously as he got out of the car to grab Quinn's bag. Faster than she could fully get out of the car, the front door swung open and several members of the Carisi family flooded out and shuffled towards the car. Bella gave Sonny and Quinn and apologetic look and shrugged as everyone went to give Sonny a squeeze and a kiss on each cheek.

"Is she here? Where is she?" A female voice asked from behind the entire crowd. Sonny put his arm around Quinn who had been slightly pushed aside during the whole ordeal.

"Ma. Ma!" Sonny called out. "She's right here. Quinn, this is my Ma." A short woman with her hair tied up in a messy bun wiped her hands on her apron before stopping in front of Quinn, giving her a once over. Quinn attempted an awkward smile and Sonny's mom paused slightly before gathering her up in her arms and giving her a tight hug.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Carisi -" Quinn started and his mother pulled back, still holding her by the arms.

"No, none of that," she said, shaking her head. "Call me Nora." Quinn blinked a few times as she registered the informality. Sonny's mom quickly introduced her to the rest of the people outside, pointing out Sonny's older sisters and his nieces who were gathered in a small swarm and tugging on Sonny's pants until he picked them up one by one to give them a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"You're a real ladies man, Sonny," Quinn commented as he put the final niece down. Sonny let out a laugh and suggested everyone reconvene inside the house.

"That's funny," Bella cackled. "You're the first one we've ever seen, so at least we know you're real." Sonny blushed as he snapped back a retort at his sister and Quinn playfully tugged on his sleeve. He broke away from verbally sparring with his younger sister and put his arm around Quinn, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I still can't believe someone can  _tolerate_  you," Bella said, fake gagging at them. "What nut house did you break her out of?"

Sonny and Quinn looked at each other before turning to Bella and responding in unison, "Bellevue!" The look on Bella's face caused them both to start laughing and Sonny, arm still around Quinn, made the executive decision to head into the house. The whole family followed them inside and Sonny's mother corralled the two of them, parting the sea of Carisis to introduce Sonny's father. He was a tall man, one who Sonny took a lot after, with a broad chest and a towering presence. He greeted Sonny, taking a step back to look at Quinn. She felt like she was livestock on the auction block as the whole family seemed to be examining her.

"You like this girl, Dominick?" His father said suddenly. Sonny nodded in response, clutching Quinn's hand. His father's attention suddenly turned to her and she could feel her legs quaking. "He treat you right?" She gulped and nodded, squeezing Sonny's hand. After what seemed like a short forever, a smile bloomed on Dominick Sr.'s face and he hugged the two of them. "That's what I like to hear!" Quinn let out a deep sigh and smiled. It seemed that the hardest hurdle was over.

* * *

 

It had been a long day, between the giant dinner Nora prepared to the conversations with Sonny's sisters and playing with all of his nieces. Sonny watched her, beaming from his perch on the armrest of the couch as she was accosted by his family. He knew she was probably freaking out on the inside but there hadn't been any cautious glances thrown his way - Sonny thought she was doing pretty well.

They had grilled her to within an inch of her life.  _Where do you work? Oh, social work is a hard job. Do you like it? What are your hours like? Emergency room, my word! Where's your family from? Are you Catholic?_  Sonny was ready to jump to the rescue, to intervene if things seemed to be getting overwhelming, but Quinn answered all their questions without hesitation. Sonny's father came up behind him from the kitchen, clapping him hard on the shoulder. "Ya got a good girl there, son. We were starting to wonder when you'd bring her around." Sonny shrugged and turned back to watch his girl fitting in perfectly with his chaotic family.

Nora had put Quinn up in Sonny's bedroom, not so subtly insisting that they were a family with Catholic values and there would be no immoral funny business under the Carisi roof. Sonny laughed it off, patting his mom on the back and agreeing to crash on the couch in the basement. Quinn found it slightly endearing, but mostly taken aback by the thought of even  _doing_  anything in Sonny's childhood home.

* * *

 

Night had fallen and Quinn retired to the bedroom after everyone went to sleep. She had carefully unpacked her bag so her clothes wouldn't get wrinkled, noticing with a smile that Sonny had pulled a dress from her closet and snuck it into her bag. She made a mental note to ask him about it tomorrow.

Quinn started to get changed into her pajamas, slipping off her pants and pulling her shirt up over her head. As she struggled to pull her head out of the top of the shirt, she heard the door to her room creak open and close suddenly. Quinn finally freed herself from the shirt and turned to look at the source of the noise, where she saw Sonny leaning against the door with his hand on the knob. With a rush of embarrassment, her hands flew to her stomach, covering up as much of herself as she could to no avail.

"If you woulda told sixteen year old Sonny that he'd have a bombshell half naked in his room… He would'na believed you!" Sonny said, smile flashing at her from across the room. Quinn held the shirt up in front of herself, trying to hide from his wandering eyes. In all the time they had spent together, Sonny had never seen her like this. She was always clothed to some degree, even when he was staying over at her house. They had barely been intimate with each other since  _that night_  aside from heavy make out sessions on the couch. The poor guy was trying so hard to keep his composure and joked to try to make her feel less uncomfortable, but Quinn kept resisting. "I'm sorry, doll. Do you want me to leave?"

She hesitated, shaking her head slightly. "It's fine. Let me get my pajamas on." He briefly averted his gaze, but something caught his eye as she moved.

"Quinn, what's this?" he asked, moving forward and lifting the shirt she was using to cover her midsection.

"Sonny, Sonny, no, please," she gasped as he knelt at her side, hand tracing between her hips and rib cage and back down her thigh. His fingers hit raised pink lines one after the other evenly down between her ribs and mid-thigh. Quinn stood motionless, jeans pooled around her ankles and hands balled into fists as she clenched the shirt she had been wearing, as Sonny kept touching the symmetrical pattern of scars decorating her side. She whispered his name again, and his eyes slowly drifted up to meet hers.

"How long," he said softly, and Quinn swore she heard his voice crack.

"Years, on and off."

"What about these? When did these happen?"

"Few months ago. Some last week."

"Did I do something wrong?" She could hear the hurt in his voice and her heart felt like it was going to break at any moment. Quinn shook her head and named Mike and Brett. "Oh," he said, still not rising from his position on the floor.

"Why didn't you talk to me, doll?" His fingers kept tracing the lines as she stood quietly on display for him. How  _could_  she have talked to him about this? Sonny had always done everything he could to try and make her happy. She  _was_  happy when Sonny was around. How was she supposed to explain that it helped her feel in control of something when the rest of her world was thrown into chaos.

Slowly, Quinn took his hand in hers, pressing it flat against her abdomen. "It's just something that happens, Sonny. Please don't worry about me."

"How can I not?" he asked, moving their hands to press his lips against the scars. "You're a walking calamity, doll." She looked down at him in shock to see him smiling up at her. Sonny got up and gathered her in his arms, hugging her tight. "Please just talk to me if it starts becoming something… more… than this." The tone in his voice shifted to worry and Quinn sighed. "Promise me, doll."

"I promise, Sonny. I promise."

"Good."

He walked the two of them over to the bed and pulled her down with him. She stifled a laugh in his shoulder and pushed him to the edge of the bed. "What are you even doing here? Your parents will kill you if they find out you were up here after hours."

"I always wanted to bring a girl up here. Better late than never," he smirked, tucking his arm under her head and kissing her hard on the mouth. Quinn shifted slightly, resting her hand at the nape of his neck as his mouth wandered down the length of her neck. "And you're already half naked without any effort on my part." Sonny's free hand drifted across her collarbones, coming to rest at the edge of her bra. Almost instinctively, Quinn arched her back, slipping his hand over her breast. While Sonny palmed at her, she whimpered as he sucked a mark into her shoulder.

Quinn felt a warmth growing between her legs and suddenly shouldered Sonny away, leaning back to meet his eyes. He stroked her hair with the hand under her head as he looked at her quizzically. "You made such a big deal about waiting for the right time to have sex, and  _now_  is the time? Sonny, I can't do this in the room you probably jerked off in when you were thirteen."

"We don't gotta do anything you don't wanna do, doll," Sonny said, resuming his assault on her neck as his hand slid down the length of her body, stopping just above her waistband. Quinn gasped at the sudden pressure as his fingers tentatively slipped under the elastic.

"Sonny, your parents are in the next room!" she hissed and he pressed his lips to hers to silence her.

"Well, then you're just going to have to be quiet, doll." A rush of excitement ripped through her body at his low tone. Sonny's eyes were bright and Quinn decided it wasn't worth fighting him - it had been almost two months of constant torture and she wanted this as much as he did. She squirmed as he slipped his whole hand into her underwear, and Sonny chuckled against her neck, sucking another hickey underneath her jaw this time. "Jesus, Quinn," he groaned, sliding his fingers through the wet heat between her legs. Quinn let out a soft moan and tangled her fingers in his hair.

Sonny moved his hand back out of her underwear and Quinn thought she was going to explode if he didn't put it back. "Easy, sweetheart," he whispered. His breath was hot and it made her shiver as he continued to tease her. "Gotta make sure you  _really_  want this." He knew he was driving her crazy. He knew she wanted him to take her seven ways til Sunday, but this was just  _so fun_.

"Please, Sonny. Please…"

"Please what?"

"Please keep touching me," she choked out as he alternated between nipping and licking her collarbone.

"If you insist," he said, grinning salaciously as he eased his hand underneath the elastic waistband, mumbling filthy things into her ear and causing her to turn bright red. The bed creaked slightly as she bucked her hips against his hand and Sonny leaned over to pin her down with his body. "But you gotta be quiet. Can you do that for me?" She nodded, biting her lower lip. "Good girl."

His fingers slipped between her folds, finding her clit and giving it a cautious rub. Quinn bit down harder on her lip to try and suppress the moan threatening to escape. Sonny added two more fingers and started with small, slow circles as he used his other arm to hold her close and kiss her. His tongue dragged slowly across her lip and Quinn let him in, fingers threatening to bruise his bony shoulders from how hard she was clinging to him. Sonny used a leg to spread hers as he started to rub faster and faster, occasionally splaying his fingers to change up the pressure.

She didn't mean to, but Quinn let out a moan, and Sonny suddenly tightly clapped his free hand over her mouth. "What did I tell you, doll? You gotta be quiet, or I'm gonna have to stop." The action had turned Quinn on even more and she lifted her hips to push into his hand. Sonny made larger circles as he felt shudders rip through her body. Her muffled cries let him know she was getting close and he kept circling her clit, smiling like an idiot down at her as he watched her writhing beneath him. He put his lips back to her neck, nipping and kissing hard as he felt her fall apart in his arms.

Sonny uncovered her mouth as she gasped for air and pulled his hand out from between her legs. As she lay on the bed, covered in a layer of sweat, Sonny licked his fingers and groaned. "You taste great," he said, wiping the rest off on his jeans. His thigh rubbed against her crotch and she thought she was going to start crying from how hard she came. Quinn curled up against Sonny and grasped at his shirt, not wanting him to move away just yet. He held her as they lay in silence, until Quinn felt something poking her in the thigh.

"Sonny, I'm so sorry. Can I… do anything for you?" she stammered, pushing herself up on her elbow.

Sonny struggled to keep his laugh quiet as he shook his head. "It's okay, doll. You don't have to. This was more than enough for me. I wanted to make you feel good."

"Are you sure?" she asked, dropping her hand to his belt buckle. He shook his head again and gently moved her hand up to his face, kissing her knuckles.

"We've got all the time in the world for that. Figured I owed you one for making you deal with my family." Sonny got up off the bed, trying his hardest to avoid any creaking. Quinn opened her mouth to protest but Sonny grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and covered her with it, tucking the ends underneath her. He bent over to kiss her on the forehead and crept back out of the room. Quinn sighed as he left, wishing he could have stayed the night. There was no way his parents wouldn't have found out about it if he did, and she wasn't trying to cause problems on her first night there.

Suddenly, Quinn's phone buzzed. She reached across the bed to the nightstand and picked it up.

_New Picture Message: Fordham_

Rolling her eyes, Quinn opened it, and was greeted with a picture of Sonny's tight black boxer briefs with a  _very_  visible outline of his rock hard dick.

 **Fordham:**  Goodnight ;)


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am.... so sorry.... about all of this....

The weekend had gone by in an instant and Quinn was starting to wonder how she had survived the fussing and interrogation all weekend. When Sonny told her they were going to church on Sunday, she realized why he had secretly stashed her dress in her bag. They drove to a Catholic church off Arden Avenue and Quinn watched as Sonny prayed intently. She hadn't been in a church since she came back to New York but it was nice to be able to fall right back into the familiar prayers and psalms.

After the big Memorial Day Cookout on Monday, she hugged Nora goodbye before being swarmed by all of Sonny's nieces. "You come back anytime, honey," Nora said, patting her on the arm and looking up proudly at her son. "Be good to her, Dominick." Sonny laughed as he put Quinn's bag in the trunk of the car.

"I will, ma," he promised, stooping down to kiss her on the cheek before going to start the car. Quinn settled into the passenger seat and Sonny pulled away from the curb, grabbing her hand and lacing their fingers together as he headed towards the Verrazano Bridge. He couldn't have hoped for a better weekend.

But all of that was going to change very quickly.

Quinn should have remembered that her job never allowed for quiet lulls in time very often, and Sonny even more so. It was the beginning of summer and they had both gotten swamped in cases. Sonny and Quinn had seen less of each other than they had all year, between Carisi's late nights and Quinn's overnight shifts. They had finally found a day to meet up and relax when Sonny's phone started to ring.

Olivia had called Sonny with news that she wanted him to pass on to Quinn, and it took all the strength Sonny had to not yell back at how inappropriate it would be for Quinn to hear  _that_  from  _him_. He looked to Rollins, who had overheard the conversation, and begged her to call Quinn and pass on the message.

"You sure, Carisi?" Rollins asked, quickly putting away her files and packing her bag. "I don't see the issue in you telling her. You're going to pick her up anyway."

"Yeah, but I can't just drop that on her… I don't think I have it in me."

"You sure you're not just scared of her reaction?"

"Okay, Rollins, I don't need the psychological mumbo jumbo."

"I didn't say anything," Amanda said pointedly, leaning back in her desk chair. Carisi frowned, knowing he had just walked into that and told her he would meet her in a bit. He practically ran to the subway, swiping himself in and jumping on the next uptown train that would take him to Bellevue.

"Sonny!" Quinn waved from the hospital entrance as the detective made his way over, slightly out of breath.

"You okay, Quinn?" he asked as she reached out to hug him.

"I'm fine, why?" she asked, giving him a kiss under his chin.

"Amanda didn't call you?" Quinn shook her head and Sonny sighed in disbelief. "Listen, don't freak out," he started and Quinn pulled away, worry clouding her eyes.

"What happened, Sonny?" she asked, clutching her bag in her hand.

"Mike got shot."

Quinn had been oddly quiet in the cab as they drove to the hospital. She sat with her hands in her lap, staring blankly ahead of her. Sonny, on the other hand, was fidgeting in his seat. He prayed they wouldn't hit traffic on the way there because he was ready to explode. Quinn's silence was confusing and all Sonny wanted to do was hold her hand - though he wasn't sure if it was for her reassurance or his own. As the cab pulled up to the hospital, Quinn roughly opened the door and made a run for the entrance. Sonny apologized to the driver, tossed him a twenty, and quickly ran after her.

He looked around the lobby for Quinn, finding her blocked by hospital police as she furiously waved her Bellevue ID card at them. Carisi loped over, gently pulling her by her arm and flashing his badge. The officer stepped aside and she wrenched herself out of Sonny's grip and crossed her arms, staring at the elevator doors.

"Doll," Sonny whispered, coming up behind her. "Please calm down." Quinn whirled around, gaze pinned on him.

"Calm down?  _Calm down?_  Have you  _met_  me?" she hissed at him. The elevator doors slid opened and she walked inside, mashing the button to Mike's floor as Sonny stepped in behind her. The elevator rose with a lurch and Quinn thought she could feel her lunch churning in her stomach. Olivia greeted them upstairs and quickly herded Quinn and Sonny out of the elevator.

"He's been asking for you," she said somberly, looking down at Quinn, as she explained the situation and Mike's condition.

"He's okay?" Quinn asked, stuffing her hands in her pockets. Olivia nodded and led her to the room. Chief Dodds stood inside, leaning against a wall as Mike turned to see Quinn walk inside. She nodded her head in Chief Dodds' direction and sat down in the chair by Mike's bed. He weakly lifted his hand and she gently took it in hers, pressing his knuckles to her cheek. Sonny hung around by the door, shuffling back and forth until Olivia gave him a gentle push inside.

"Sure gave us a scare, Sarge," Carisi said, trying to make light of the situation. Mike clenched his jaw as he shifted, chuckling.

Quinn squeezed his hand and smiled, leaning her upper body on the bed. Mike pulled his hand out of her grasp and stroked her hair as Chief Dodds cleared his throat and excused himself with Olivia. "Does he know?" Quinn asked, laying her head on the mattress.

"Told him today… when he asked if he should call you…" Mike grunted. Sonny shifted his weight from foot to foot as he stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed. He couldn't quite place the emotion running through his mind - and he would deny jealousy for as long as he lived. He didn't know how much longer he could take watching the tender exchange between the Sarge and  _his_  girl.

Mike's hand rested on Quinn's shoulder as he looked up at Sonny. "Take care of her, alright?" he said, "You're good for each other." Quinn lifted herself off the bed and looked quizzically at Mike.

"Please don't talk like that, Mike. You make it sound like you're dying."

"I mean it, Carisi," Mike said, ignoring her.

"Is that an order, Sarge?" Sonny asked, beaming as he stepped over to stand by Quinn. Mike nodded, breathing out a soft laugh. Sonny and Quinn stayed next to Mike as he closed his eyes briefly, wincing in pain. As he turned back to them, his stare was glassy and Quinn noticed something was off. Sonny was ready to chastise Mike for being a hero when Mike began slurring slightly.

"Mike," Quinn said, poking him in the shoulder. "Let go of that morphine, you're doping yourself up too much." She pulled back his blanket to find his other hand empty and looked up at Sonny in alarm.

" 'm'alright, sleeve it 'lone," he slurred and Quinn, wide-eyed, slapped Sonny in the arm.

"Get a doctor," she gasped, "He's having a stroke.". Turning to Mike, she patted his arm. "Mike? Mike, stay with me. Mikey!" She hadn't called him that in months, and the pet name slipped out easier than ever. "Mikey don't do this." Sonny returned with a full medical team and ran into the room, grabbing Quinn by the upper arms and quickly pulling her out of the chair. She resisted, struggling against him as he held her flush against his chest while the nurses and the attending wheeled the bed out of the ICU room. Olivia and Chief Dodds rushed in as Quinn kept trying to pull out of Sonny's grasp.

"Quinn," Olivia said, holding her hands up. "Calm down."

"Calm down? Everyone's telling me to  _calm down_  today when I can't just  _calm down_!" she snapped, knees buckling and bringing both her and Sonny down to the ground. He kept his arms wrapped around her, keeping her from flailing her arms and hurting herself or someone else. "Let me  _GO_!"

Sonny shook his head, adjusting himself so Quinn was sitting between his legs on the floor. He bundled her against his chest. "Quinn," he started.

"Don't say everything is going to be okay, because if it's not I'm never going to forgive you," she wailed, burying her head in his shirt. Olivia stood nearby, hand on her forehead as she stared out the glass doors of the room. Chief Dodds had taken up post in the chair in the corner of the room, elbows resting on his knees.

They waited until the doctor returned, not moving from their positions save for Olivia who was pacing in the corridor. Quinn had fallen asleep crying and Sonny did his best to keep her comfortable even though his legs were starting to fall asleep. When the attending arrived, Chief Dodds and Olivia went to speak with him. Sonny watched as Chief Dodds' fist slammed on the counter of the nurse's station and Olivia doubled over, clutching her knees.

Quinn stirred and opened her eyes, looking up blearily at Sonny. He drew in a sharp breath as she lifted her head. "What's going on?" she said, looking around the room. All of Sonny's attempts to keep her attention away from the door failed as she saw Olivia weeping into the Chief's shoulder and she quickly got up, sliding the door of the room open. Olivia looked at her pitifully, shaking her head, and Quinn clutched her chest, leaning against the door and dry heaving. Sonny got up off the floor and rushed over to Quinn, rubbing her back as she spat into a garbage can.

"I need to go. I need to get out of here," she muttered, suddenly straightening up and grabbing her bag from the room, practically running towards the elevator. Sonny shot Olivia and Dodds an apologetic look and took off after her. Quinn was breathing heavily as they rode down and ignored Sonny while she waited for a cab. He knew she was going to take off with or without him but he wasn't going to risk leaving her alone tonight.

They made it to her apartment and Sonny walked in closely behind her, locking the door as she kicked off her shoes, threw her bag in a corner, and made a beeline for her bedroom. Sonny took his jacket off and hung it up, leaving his shoes by the door as he followed her. He found her lying face down on the bed and sat down next to her, tentatively placing his hand on her back before giving her a soft rub. "Tell me what you're thinkin, Quinn."

"Who are you, a therapist?" she said, muffled by a pillow.

"No," he said softly. "I just know better than to ask you if you're okay." She scoffed and rolled over, mascara stains running down her cheeks. Quinn sat up and turned to look at Sonny.

"Can I be completely honest with you?"

"Always, doll."

Quinn sighed and began to speak. She told him how until Sonny had come into her life after the break up, Mike was her person. He was the one who drove her crazy but she still loved him and believed that he did too. Even after the break up and the splitting, she still cared for him and wanted him to be happy even if that meant not being with her. She reiterated multiple times that her feelings for Sonny were magnified to a level that Mike could never even dream of reaching, and Sonny chuckled. "What's so funny?" she mumbled.

"You are." She raised an eyebrow and he went to wipe a stray tear from her face. "I'm not going to lie, I was always a little jealous of you and Mike. But I haven't felt that way in a long time, doll. I know he was really special to you. We could all see it." He held his arms out and Quinn dragged herself over, giving him a long hug.

He lay down on the bed, prompting her to curl up next to him. He stroked her hair gently before realizing he was mimicking what Mike had done back in the hospital. She drew in a sharp breath and Sonny moved his hand down to her back. Quinn looked into Sonny's eyes before speaking.

"Mike died."

"Yeah."

"And I guess he gave us his blessing."

"Yeah."

After a short silence, Quinn piped up. "Don't leave me, Sonny."

"I can stay over tonight if you want."

"No, Sonny. Stay with me. Forever?"

"What are you asking, Quinn?"

"God damn it, move in with me, Fordham." Sonny laughed as she pulled away, beet red in the face. "Is that a no?"

Sonny put his hands on her cheeks. "That's a yes, sweetheart," he said, kissing her gently until he felt her smile beneath his lips.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Quinn cried the whole way through the funeral. She sat off to the side with Barba, white-knuckling the pew in front of her. The ADA subtly reached over and pried her hands from the wood, folding them in her lap and placing his hand over them. The entire squad, and the crowd of other NYPD officers that showed up, were all in their blues and Quinn felt completely out of place in her simple black dress. Chief Dodds had delivered a eulogy, which only exacerbated Quinn's constant flow of tears when he had included her in the list of "people who made Mike's life great". When the service came to a close, Sonny and a couple of the other officers carried the casket out to the hearse. Sonny's face was stoic and it was hard for Quinn to read his expression but she knew he was hurting inside. She couldn't bear watching them slide the casket into the car that would take Mike away for good, and she threw her purse over her shoulder, making her way to the cop bar where the reception would be held. Rafael spotted her leaving and followed suit, jogging to catch up with her.

"Come, let's find a seat," Barba said, guiding her with a soft hand between her shoulder blades. They sat down at the counter and Rafael ordered two scotches as Quinn dug out her phone and began scrolling through her text message thread with Mike.

 **Mike:**  He convinced you to go to church?

_I know, crazy right?_

**Mike:** What's he got that I don't have, huh?

_Excuse me!?_

**Mike:**  I'm kidding, I'm kidding, please tell me you know I'm kidding.

_Okay good._

**Mike:** I gotta go, remember that case I told you about?

_Yeah, please be careful Mike. Text me later._

_Hey, how's it going? It's been a while?_

_Mike?_

The bartender placed her drink in front of her and Barba reached over to pull her phone away. "Stop dwelling, Quinn. It's not going to do you any good."

"Says the one who's tossing out his address to every hit man in New York," she scoffed. They raised their glasses. "To Mike."

"To Mike." Barba clinked his glass against hers and they took a sip before putting the glass down and reminiscing about Mike. Quinn mentioned that this hadn't been Mike's first gunshot wound and everyone had hoped he would pull through again.

"Nobody's safe. All my friends work such dangerous jobs, what if they all die? What if whoever the hell it was comes after you?" Barba laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not going anywhere,  _amiga._ This was a freak accident. I'm not worried when SVU has our backs."

"I don't think I could handle it if anyone else got hurt… you, Amanda, Sonny?"  _Oh God, Sonny._

"They're good cops, Quinn. The chances of anything happening -"

"So what was Mike? A statistical exception?"

Barba clenched his glass tightly. "Dodds was a hero, Quinn. This shouldn't have happened, but he saved their lives in that house."

"Rafi?" She finished off her drink and ordered another one. "Is it selfish of me to say I don't care and wish he hadn't been there?"

"No. I think everyone feels that right now. Aren't you the social worker here?" Quinn smiled at Barba.

"You've got me fucked up if you think I'm doing any grief counseling today, Rafi." He laughed at her response and leaned on the counter, sighing. "I'm probably gonna cry again soon."

"That's fine."

* * *

 

Sonny hadn't noticed Quinn leaving, and he looked around frantically for her as Amanda emerged from the church. He patted his uniform down for his phone until Amanda gently placed her hand on his arm. She told him to relax, that he knew exactly where Quinn would be, but Sonny felt like he was stuck in a haze. The crowd began to walk towards the bar and Amanda tugged on Sonny's sleeve. He followed her, glassy eyed and solemn.

"Hey Rollins?" he suddenly said. She looked up at him as they walked to the bar. "She wants me to move in with her."

"That's a big step, Carisi," she said, eyes widening. "Is that a good idea with all of this going on?"

"My lease isn't up until the end of the month."

"But you already told her you would."

"Kinda."

"Do you want to?"

"Of course I do, Rollins, what kinda question is that?" Sonny grumbled.

"I dunno, Carisi, I'm just making sure you two are on the same page." Sonny shoved his hands in his pockets. "She's going to need you now more than ever, and she's going to push you away because she's too afraid of you leaving her if she thinks she's getting bad again."

"Jesus Amanda, what are you, a psychiatrist?"

"Not by trade, but you forget she's confided in me long before you were even a blip on the radar."

"Ouch." Amanda shrugged and offered Sonny an apologetic smile as they reached the bar. She swung the door open and Sonny walked in, scanning the surroundings for his girl. He didn't have to look far, spotting her sitting right in the middle of the bar with a half empty glass of whatever it was she was drinking in front of her, next to Barba. Mike's blown up uniformed photo stood on the counter nearby and Sonny watched as she crossed her arms and lay her head down on the bar, shoulders shaking softly.

"Go," Amanda said, giving him a poke in the middle of his back. Sonny practically tripped over his own feet as he approached her carefully, sitting down beside her and waiting briefly before whispering her name. Sonny reached out to touch her arm just as she lifted her head. She had smeared mascara running down her face and Sonny smiled weakly at her, grabbing a napkin from behind the bar and offering it to her. Quinn turned on the barstool to face him and dropped her hands in her lap, looking pitifully up at him. Carisi sighed and reached out to wipe her face with the napkin, swiping away the patchy streaks sliding down her cheek. Quinn tilted her head slightly to push her cheek into his palm and with his other hand, Sonny squeezed her knee.

"How you holdin' up, doll?" he asked, running his thumb across her cheek. Quinn shook her head, swallowing hard. Sonny stood up and took a step towards her, gathering her up and pressing her against his chest. Quinn balled her fists up in his uniform shirt, holding on to him for dear life as he stroked her hair and rubbed her back. Sonny turned his attention to Barba. "We haven't gotten Felipe yet but unis are posted on his block."

"I'm not worried," Barba said, taking a quick swig. "Not in here."

Quinn looked from Sonny to Barba and barked out a laugh. "Get a room, you two."

Barba smirked and picked up his drink, heading to where Amanda and Fin were standing to give the two of them some privacy.

Chief Dodds finally walked in and he stayed off to the side, hugging the wall as he went to sit at the bar. Quinn looked over Sonny's shoulder to watch the Chief wave over the bartender and place and order. He and Olivia had a brief conversation and Quinn guessed it wasn't amicable as Chief Dodds had picked up his drink and moved to their side of the table. Sonny quickly addressed the Chief and Quinn turned in her seat to not keep her back to him.

Dodds took a deep swig of his drink before slamming the glass down on the countertop. "He didn't tell me you two had broken up. It seems that you've moved on though." Sonny gave Quinn a warning squeeze on her shoulder as he felt her stiffen beneath his hand. He knew she was ready to start a fight and it was taking all of Sonny's willpower not to get in between them preemptively. "I get why he didn't tell me. I pushed my own dreams on him, forced my way into every aspect of his life… He wanted to keep you his little secret." Quinn relaxed and leaned back against Sonny.

"Chief…" she started. Surprised, Dodds looked up at Quinn. "I really liked your eulogy… I just want you to know that dating or not, Mike was always going to be someone special to me.

"You must have been to him, if he somehow avoided saying anything for months." Dodds took another sip. "I just wonder if by now if you two were still together, if he would have been more cautious a few days ago. If he had someone he needed to get home to. Someone who wasn't sleeping around with the rest of the squad." Quinn was stunned at his statement and watched as he finished off his drink and got up to leave.

"Did he just..? Did I hear him correctly?" Sonny stammered, holding Quinn in place to prevent her from leaping out of her seat.

"Sonny, I need to leave."

"Quinn?"

"I  _need_  to leave," she said, whirling around in her seat and staring into his eyes. She dug her nails into his forearms, scratching against the fabric. Sonny gulped and nodded, grabbing her purse off the floor as she took off towards the door. Amanda and Barba both gave him a questioning stare and he shook his head, following behind Quinn before he lost sight of her on the busy New York City street. He caught up to her as she stood at the entrance to the subway, fumbling in her pockets.

"Doll, your MetroCard is in your bag," he said cautiously, holding her purse out in front of him. She snatched it from him, digging out her wallet and hopping down the steps to the station. Sonny, unprepared, flashed his badge to have the station worker buzz him through the emergency exit as the train roared into the station. Sonny got in the train car behind her, looping an arm around her middle to hold her up as the train jerked back into motion. People stared at him, a cop in full dress grabbing on to her and someone had even tapped Quinn's arm to ask if she was okay.

"He's my boyfriend," she snapped at the person, turning into Sonny's chest as they leaned against the door. As they reached Union Square, Sonny gently guided her off of the subway and Quinn tried to pull out of his grasp. "This isn't my stop, Sonny. You should know this."

"I'm not letting you go home right now," he responded flatly, grabbing on to her hand and walking in the direction of the L train platform.

"Why not?" she asked, digging her heels in indignantly. "I want to go home, Sonny. I don't have it in me to deal with anything else today."

"Would you just trust me for a sec? Can you let me take care of you?"

"I'm not a child, I don't need to be taken care of…" she huffed and Sonny let go of her hand.  _You wanna do this on the subway platform? Fine._  "I just want to be alone. I want to go home and be miserable in my bed, is that too much to ask for?"

Sonny took a step towards her, hands on his hips. "If I let you go home, I'm staying with you. It's either that, or you come back with me to my place." His tone softened as he reached for her, running his hands down her sides and smoothing the fabric of her dress. Sonny's fingers pressed into her sides and he touched his forehead to hers. "I've seen what you do to yourself when you're alone… I'm scared of what you'll do if I'm not there."

Stunned, Quinn placed her hands on either side of Sonny's face. The look on his face pulled on something in her heart and she took a step back, dropping her hands to grab one of his. "Let's go home," she said softly. "Your home." Sonny's expression brightened up and they started walking together towards the L. They hadn't let go of each other the entire way home. In the subway he leaned against the pole, holding her against him. From the station to his apartment, Sonny had his arm thrown around his girl's shoulders, proudly walking with her beside him. "You're sure chipper today, Fordham," she said, bringing up the old nickname with a smirk.

"You've never been to my house before. Can ya blame a guy for bein' excited?"

"I absolutely can! Did you forget we just came from a funeral?" Quinn feigned disbelief, but her voice dropped at the end as she, too, remembered they had just said their final goodbyes to Mike. Sonny noticed the shift in tone and gave her a squeeze as they came up to his door.

"I'd rather think about how if it wasn't for the Sarge, I wouldn't have you right here, right now." Quinn beamed up at Sonny as he unlocked his front door. "After you," he said, holding it open for her. "Right there, first door." He unlocked the door to his apartment and Quinn walked in, slipping off her shoes inside, and stood in the hallway until Sonny settled himself in. He nudged her towards his bedroom, where he started unbuttoning his uniform top. She gasped and Sonny laughed. "Don't worry, doll. I jus' figure we've seen each other before, I'm not gonna kick you out while I get changed." He slid the shirt off and hung it up in his closet, pants following suit. "You wanna change, Quinn?"

"Into what, Sonny? I don't really have clothes lying around here like you do at my place."

"I've got a tee shirt you'll look great in," he said, perking up and rushing across the room to his dresser. He fished out a navy blue shirt and tossed it at her. Quinn held it up and looked at the NYPD logo emblazoned on the chest. "It's my old shirt from the academy. Usually just sleep in it but I'll let you borrow it," he said with a wink. Quinn pulled her dress over her head, catching Sonny staring and letting out a low whistle as she straightened up.

"Haha, Sonny. Very cute." She put on the shirt, amused that the hem had reached to her mid-thigh. Her tall, string bean detective probably filled out the shirt a little better than she did. "You got some shorts there too, or was this just a ploy to get me in my underwear?"

"Kinda," he said with a chuckle. Quinn shook her head and the two of them went out into the living room, where Sonny cranked the A/C and pulled out a microfiber blanket from a pile on an ottoman. Quinn looked at him quizically and he shrugged. "I like it chilly. Plus, I can snuggle up to you."

"I didn't realize you needed an excuse for that," she said dryly, picking up the remote and clicking through channels.

"I don't," he started. "It's just an added bonus." Sonny planted a wet kiss on her ear and Quinn shrieked, grabbing onto his undershirt and pulling him on top of her. Sonny laughed and rolled over onto his side, tucking her in the space between him and the backrest. Quinn pulled the blanket back over them and cuddled into Carisi's chest. She placed a hand over his heart, feeling the erratic beats slowly steady.

"Hey, Sonny?' she asked, not looking up. He  _hmm_ ed and waited for her to continue. "Does it ever bother you that we still haven't… you know…"

Sonny silenced her with a quick kiss to her forehead. "I'm not in any hurry, doll. If you're happy, I'm happy. 'Sides, I like all the  _other_  things we do." Quinn looked up at Sonny and noticed the bright red blush creeping across his face.  _He's adorable_ , she thought, pressing her lips to his jaw. Since their night in his childhood bedroom, Sonny had been a little more adventurous with her, bless his poor Catholic soul. Sonny always made sure she was satisfied, but never asked for any reciprocation, even when she insisted.

"But you never want me to -"

"It's something I need to work on, doll. I love making you happy, but I don't want to feel like I'm just using you and being selfish… Especially after the things I see at work…" Quinn bit down on her lip. She understood not wanting to bring work home. "I swear to God, Quinn, you're fantastic and at the risk of sounding cliche… It's not you, it's me. You mean more to me than a quickie or a blowjob and I just want it to be perfect, you know?"

Her heart was so full as the two of them lay entwined together. The only noise in the room apart from their breathing was the low volume of the television and Quinn hadn't even noticed but Carisi had fallen asleep, muscles twitching as he unconsciously tried to pull her as close as possible. Accepting defeat and imprisonment, Quinn drifted off to sleep in his arms.


End file.
